And face it; your relationship is not a dish. There’s no recipe to make it work.  Sure, you can invite Gordon Ramsay to help you make your relationship work. But no matter how often he uses the word “f*ck” (and trust me, a lot of people think that that IS the way to spice up your relationship) it just won’t work.

Try searching for “relationship” at www.allrecipes.com. Just like me you’ll find that they couldn't find any recipe results containing “relationship”.

You didn’t mean to return the spice to your relationship. You meant to return the fire, didn’t you? But you know? Relationships are much like dishes in a way. Once you let the fire go out, you can only reheat them.  And that may be nice, for a while. But just for a while.  You see, according to The Law (Wikipedia) a reheat is an additional component added to some jet engines, primarily those on military supersonic aircraft. Its purpose is to provide a temporary increase in thrust, both for supersonic flight and for takeoff. Mind you: a temporary increase. So depending on the stamina involved it will drive the two of you along for a while, but eventually it will end. At some point in time.

Do you ignore the real problem and reheat the fire or do you take a close look at yourself? Do you start to look for diversions and other artificial boosts? Or do you have the guts to look at yourself?

In a way relationships are much like fire. They require a few basic preconditions. If these preconditions are met, the fire will keep on burning. Unlike fires however, those preconditions vary. For fires things are easy: fuel, oxygen and temperature. There you have your preconditions.

Relationships however aren’t fires. They’re much more complex than that. And at the same time, they aren’t. There’s a similarity: if one of the key components is missing, they’ll extinguish. Question is of course: what are those key components? What are your key components?

Question yourself. If you feel that your relationship is in need, then you are in need. If you feel that your relationship is lacking something, then you are lacking something. And the only way to do something about it is to identify and express what it is you are lacking.

And if you think that this is hard, well... this was the easy part. This was just the first step. Now that you know what you are missing, you should ask yourself whether your relationship is going to provide this. Should it? Or should you? It’s one thing to be honest towards yourself; it’s another thing to be totally honest to yourself. Identifying the need is one, but acknowledging where this need comes from is something else.

Just do it. Make love in public, engage in a threesome, go to a fetish club, explore, and baldly go where you have never gone before. And after you’ve done all that, and more, you’ll find yourself putting out this same request again.

Because it all boils down to one thing, one person: you. Find yourself and you’ll find the spice.