The most difficult stage in parenting is how to say  ‘NO’ to your children, without you always appearing to be a ‘bad guy’ image before your kids.  You would neither want to hurt your kids nor would you want them to have everything they demand.  

The tone of your ‘NO’ would be a bigger matter than the matter itself. Your ‘NO’ should not sound harsh but soft and a confident one, implying that you stick to it. You would not change your decision even if your kid(s) cries or pesters you continuously.

Firstly listen to your kid’s requests. You should be a good listener to your kids, sitting close to them, keeping a good eye contact. Distinguish between their reasonable and unreasonable demands. Your ‘NO’ should be accompanied by your reason to say ‘NO’, explaining them the consequences of their wants. Kids, who are big enough to understand and analyze your reason, might settle down, but kids who are too small to understand might end up crying or irritating you. You can try to distract them by changing the topic or subject to what really interests them. They tend to forget the whole episode after you finish reading them an interesting fairy-tale or a game of ball with them.

Mostly kids or school-goers annoy their parents to buy them a particular brand of toys or things that are expensive for you. The kids might have seen or heard these from their school friends. Here, it is the peer pressure that causes the nagging. Without saying a ‘NO’, you can ask them to choose a lesser expensive stuff. Thus you can teach your child to compromise, also the importance of saving money. Giving them choices or option is a better way of saying a ‘NO’.

Remember, if you always tend to say ‘NO’ to your kids and end up sounding like roots, you too might one day end up in getting only ‘NO’s from them. This is really true, because they have been used to hearing only ‘NO’s from you. But a stern ‘NO’ is always better than smacking them. The latter would leave them not just physically hurt but also mentally, which are difficult to heal. They might start to consider themselves as dummys, useless and voiceless entities in the family. ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ is considered a mere long-lost proverb by the modern day parents, as they feel the kids become more aggressive and obstinate if you resort to these olden ways of child raising. 

Treat your kids with respect and you get it back. Listen to them patiently and seriously, talk to them with maturity, make them understand the reality of things, the consequences of their demands and your reasons to disagree. Perhaps you could suggest a more practical option/alternative or may be a simple “perhaps next time, not now”. Take the pressures off your kids, enjoy your time together and strengthen the family ties. Help him or her to grow up to be an independent individual having his or her own thoughts and practical desires.