Human relationships, here we go again ! Have a look at my hub "Making someone love you ?", most of what I laid down there also applies to this case.

To make the long story short no universal solution, because humans are not predictible, and do not come with a user's manual. So you will have to tailor a new solution each time you will have to face-up with this problem.

If you're a very attractive person and have to deal with it frequently, you will see that you can't use the same tactics and words each time - simply because your lovers would be different and react differently.

One can however establish a couple of guidelines, which certainly not apply to all cases, but can help you finding your way out of this touchy situation.

Is your pretender's love just a possibility, or is it fully developped ?

The situation where a friend want to be more than friends can pop-up as an opportunity. "You know, we go well together, we knew each other for a long time... Now we're both alone, why not going out together, ...". An opportunistic, easy approach.

Or, probably hader to manage, your friend's heart has been burning in love for years silently, and suddenly found enough courage to reveal it. "I fell in Love with you at first sight, but never dare to say it..." (Notice the Big Cap "L"...).

Sometimes the second type can "camouflage" behind the wording of the first type, trying to look more casual.

If your pretender is opportunistic (nothing negative in that), stopping things with a clear "No" should be quite easy. But if he / she has a complete wall covered with stolen pictures of you, I reckon your friendship is at risk...

Do not cross the line

This is probably the most important point. If you decided not to go beyond friendship (did you ? sure ? really sure ?), state it in a smooth but clear way. Any ambiguity could mislead your pretender, possibly encouraging him / her to continue.

Depending the kind of friendship you have this can be hard to do. How do you intrepret having dinner in a restaurant ? A friendly discussion. But what will your partner think ? A romantic date ?

In this kind of situation, the same even can be perceived in dramatically different ways. So yes, managing the thing can mean being more distant than before, but this is for the sake of your relation ! Remember, easy things are not fun.

Things to say and not to say

At first, avoid the cliché "No, but I hope we can stay friends". Anyone saying these words outisde a romantic comedy should be blamed. Seriously.

Do not say either that you have a strong sympathy, the strongest ever, this would tempt your pretender to argue in the way of developing it to Love.

If your friendship has a long history, you can argue that if more was to happen, it would have been the case for a long time. Do not say you understand the situation, because you either lie or will refer to a situation the other don't really want to hear about at this very moment.

Say you feel the pain, but obviously don't say you would do anything. Be sympathetic, be gentle but clear, and may be try offering a time-out in your friendship, so that your partner has time to think about it. Do insist that you do not need to think, this could again be misleading.

Closing such a hub is always complex, because there is no final word. I can't say "By the end of the day, ..." or anything like that. You'll have to find the proper solution, but keep in mind that if the situation is complex and may be painful for you, it is even more hard for your pretender !

No guaranties your friendship will survive, at least in the short term.

Hope this helps.