How to striptease

This is dedicated to all the playful lovers who wish to spice up their intimate life. To all women in their 30s and 40s who want to try something new to spice up their relationship.

As a mother of two I understand how difficult it is to feel sexy when you have spent your day cooking, changing nappies, cleaning the house, and fighting with the dog -all that in a quiet day! I understand that being tired by the end of the day is not the best way to start a romantic evening but also I have come to realize that if women do not make an effort to entice their partners (and vice-versa) relationships become stagnant, unchallenging and couples end up not remembering why they are together.

Striptease not only works for enticing your man under the duvet. Learning to strip is also a form of workout. Cardio striptease can make you lose more calories than an ordinary exercise session with the added bonus that it also improves your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Knowing how to move your body, how to undress sensually can also be a form of sexual play between partners. In France I discovered a "school" for striptease. A serious subject aimed at girls who are going to get married. For about 300 € friends can offer the bride a private striptease lesson at home with an accredited teacher!

We all know that a striptease is a dance which involves undressing in a teasing suggestive way. But some women are not at all happy about taking their clothes off, never mind doing sensual dances and acrobatics in the way. So here is when a few tips for undressing and doing a sensual strip tease can help.

First of all face your fears, take your clothes off in front of a mirror and have a long hard look at yourself. Focus on the positive rather than the negative. What are your best assets? Find them and exploit them to your favour.

Have a good look at yourself. You're not as big as you think you are! Surely your partner has told you many times that he likes your smile, your legs or your breast. Believe him, if he told you that it is because he believes it.

The media bombard us all with unrealistic airbrushed images of stick thin or surgically enhanced women. You might not be one of them, but you are beautiful in your own way. In any event most normal women do not look like that. Look at the other mothers at the school gates... probably not even a fraction of them look like the women in Desperate Housewifes, but they look like you and me. Stop comparing yourself to some super star, just be yourself and love yourself for who you are.

If you are going to treat your man to a strip show, you want to look good naked. Remember that everyone is beautiful whatever your size, age and shape; self esteem is key to looking good - whether your clothes are on or off.

You need to feel confident with your body to be able to strip in front of your partner and the best way to help you feel like a top model is treating yourself like one. Indulge in body treatments and pamper yourself. Make sure your hair is clean and silky -you do not want the aroma of your cooking coming out of your hair every time you shake your head.

Also make sure that your body is hair free, waxed or shaven. Exfoliate and moisturise your entire body. Try GreatSkin® Salicylic Acid Exfoliator Sample Sample.Take some time to prepare and put yourself in a sensual mood. After you have put the children in bed or even better, when you have sent them to your mom's for the weekend, you can treat yourself like a diva. Start with a bubble bath with some sensual oils -patchouli and roses are my favourite-. Some music in the background, soft lights and a glass of champagne and you will be ready to feel like a goddess!

• Study some sexually suggestive movies and copy the movements. You do not need to watch X rated movies to get the picture. In fact according to a current.com poll, Jamie Lee Curtis' strip tease in the film True Lies has been voted the sexiest strip tease in movie history (and she doesn't take it all off!) while Salma Hayek's from From Dusk Till Dawn dancing strip scene with a snake got the 3rd place. I am not suggesting that you go to the nearest pet shop and buy a snake to pretend to be Salma Hayek, but you can get some ideas from the film and use a feather boa.

• Choose the music. Something slow if you are not very good at dancing, so you just need to walk and undress or something more exotic if you can manage to follow the rhythm. You do not need to be an expert dancer, just feel the music in your body, some music that you like and strip to it.

• Close the curtains, unless you want a bigger audience, disconnect your telephone, set your mobile on silencer and do not leave anything on the cooker!

• Light some candles. Candlelight is easier on the body, it is less harsh than electric lighting and it creates more shadows and conceals your defects. You will feel more at ease if you know that your body is not being scrutinized under a harsh unflattering light.

• Perfume yourself and the room. It is a good idea to add aromatic candles. Choose an aroma that you both like. Patchouli has aphrodisiac effects and so does violet but they can be a bit overwhelming. It is said that Josephine Bonaparte's trademark in matter of aromas was violet; a well known aphrodisiac, also used by courtesans in ancient Greece to perfume their breath and genital area.

• Prepare an aphrodisiac cocktail for both of you so your partner can sip some sense awakening flavours while he is watching you. Prepare him for the "show" anticipation is also an aphrodisiac. In some regions of Europe during the Middle ages it was traditional to let the bride and groom sleep together for a few nights before the marriage. But, they were not supposed to touch each other. They shared a bed naked but there was a sword between them! This was supposed to increase the desire for each other. I do not advise this extreme measure, but it is a reminder that abstinence is a great aphrodisiac, so do your striptease after a few days of abstinence and your man will be in a more receptive mood.
• Undress slowly and suggestively

• Use extra garments when you are going to do a striptease, like a full lingerie set with garters, under your clothes. You can even wear a pair of sexy gloves... remember Rita Hayworth in Gilda, dancing suggestively while taking her glove off? Remember that it is not much about what you take off but HOW you do it.

• Play with the clothes that you are taking off. Don't just pull your skirt off, tease, open the zip slowly show a bit of flesh, pull it up again, show and hide, tease your partner

• You do not need to bare it all. If you are concerned about a caesarean scar, cellulites, or extra weight and don't feel comfortable showing your body, just use your imagination. Wear veils, sexy lingerie or use props like cushions put in front of your "problem areas". Show a peek view and them cover it with your cushion, scarf, hat or whatever prop you are using. You do not need to be completely nude to be sexy! In India women never take off their jewellery or khol, because the jingling of their bracelets and the deep eye contact into kholed eyes have an hypnotic effect on their prey.

  
  

• Wear high heel shoes or high heel boots and keep them on, your figure will look more elongated, your legs more toned and your walking will be slower and more sensual if you keep the heels on.

  
  

• If you are not afraid of ridicule try wearing a themed dress, like a maid's dress, a nurse uniform a policewoman outfit, anything that tickles your fancy is valid and will help to set the mood and make him look at you like a different person; his own sex goddess!

Remember that you should do this as much for yourself as you do it for your partner. You will feel so sexy seeing him looking at you with renew lust that after, you will feel like a new woman. Good luck and enjoy the sex goddess within you!