When a relationship breaks up, you feel like your life has come to an end. It's far too soon to contemplate another relationship, so you find yourself on your own, and the loneliness can seem overwhelming. Well-meaning people (and endless self-help books) will offer advice about learning to love yourself and enjoying your own company, but IMO that's bulls%^t. You're still hurting too much to deal with that stuff!

I know you don't feel like distracting yourself, but distracting yourself is exactly what you have to do right now. While you're distracted, your soul will heal itself, all by itself - much faster than if you sit there feeling sad, or try to force it. Trust me - been there, tried that!

It may sound strange, but you need to make some lists. Get yourself a pen and some paper, find yourself a comfy chair and a nice glass of whatever you fancy, and be prepared to spend some time on this exercise.

Think of all the things that makes you happy (or I should say, that used to make you happy) - and I mean everything. What things did you do that put a smile on your face? It might be watching a sunset, eating an ice cream, visiting your grandma, singing, hugging your teddy bear.... whatever they are, however silly they sound, write them all down.

When you're compiling that list, don't confine yourself to things you've done recently. Think back to when you were single - what things did you do then, that made you feel good? Include them in your list.

Now write down a list of all the things you'd like to do, but have never got around to.

Finished? Pin those lists up on the wall or your fridge - wherever works for you - and write above them, in big letters:

"I will do at least one of these things EVERY DAY from now on".

I know you're not going to feel in the mood to do any of those things - but that's irrelevant. Do one thing every day, whether you feel like it or not. They may not even make you feel good when you do them, but don't give up. It may take a few months, but things will start to change, and you'll start to enjoy your favourite things again.

Also consider enrolling in an evening class or joining a club. Yes, I can hear you groan, I know it's a cliche - but it helps to fill your life up with things that keep you busy. Don't let those "experts" make you feel guilty, telling you that you have to "spend time with yourself" or "learn to love yourself". Yes , you do have to do that - but let's get over the heartache first!

Why does this work? First, a busy mind doesn't have time to dwell on the past. And a smile on your face - even a little one - sends feel-good chemicals into your bloodstream, making you feel better. So doing things that make you smile, will make you want to smile some more - and so on.

Finally, be patient. It takes about two years to completely get over a long relationship (though you should start feeling better long before that). Hang in there, baby - it won't happen overnight, but it will happen!

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All text copyright Marisa Wright. Photos courtesy of photographers below.