THE first year of marriage does not have to be a nightmare, if you folIow the tips here

Choosing to be happy together is better than the decision to be right.

Choosing to love in the face of conflict (not always an easy task, but its worth it) helps couples remember that what they want is a workable relationship, and no relationship can work if one partner insists on being right about his or her point of view.

Give up being right, and see what opens up.

Remember that commitment between two people does not mean that each side puts in 50 per cent of effort.

True commitment takes 100 per cent of effort from both parties in order to have a successful and workable marriage.

Have a sense of humour in the face of everyday issues. It allows for creative solutions to otherwise challenging situations. Learning how to laugh at yourself and taking things less seriously can diffuse a situation.

Manage expectations. Many couples assume that when two become one, their loads are lightened.

A wife may feel that as the husband is the main breadwinner, she can use the money she earns for shopping. Or, a husband may assume the wife will take care of all the housework.

Set up agreements, early in the marriage, on financial matters, housework, spending time together and when to visit in-laws, to avoid unpleasant and unexpected blowup when one party's expectations are not met.

Remember that love is not based on feelings - the feeling of being happy, for example, can come and go.

Likewise with love. Love is based on the commitments you have made with your partner, the promises you have made and the life you are dedicated to living with your partner.

Keep this in mind, and other issues will take a backseat.