Bullies feed on their perceived power over others. They take pride on the bevy of admirers and followers who tag along by virtue of their seeming control on others. This is a reality in any country and any culture. Personally, as a child, I was fair game to a lot of bullies. This also included their admirers who somehow gained the strength to taunt and tease me. More often than not this turned physical and it left me with no recourse but to break down in tears with bruises or even a black eye as a keepsake.

Often, the best solution is avoidance. However, bullies have this penchant of hunting down the ones with yellow streaks down their backs. Just for the sake of a few laughs and another test of their prowess. At times, this gravitates to the part where the bully resorts to extortion. From here matters get worst.

There is no question that this matter should be reported to persons of authority. Yet, a child will always be haunted by the fact that he was so weak and unable to stand for himself.

After a number of years and bucketful of tears, my parents decided to enroll me in a martial arts class in Karate. This gave me the dexterity, agility and strength to not only avoid or even take a punch but also to prevent from getting into any fights. My formal training started when I was in grade school and lasted way past my university days. Beyond that, I studied other schools of martial arts on my own.

My new found strength somehow filtered through my friends and other people and I was essentially avoided by bullies like the plague. However, this did not transform me to a bully myself. All schools of martial arts are basically premised on self defense. A practitioner adheres to a strict code of conduct where discipline is paramount. You will be amazed that practitioners of martial arts are gentle and often soft spoken and mild mannered. They would rather turn around and run from a fight than make a public spectacle of their skills. However, when cornered and when it would be a matter of being harmed, or worse when the question is of life or death, training takes precedence.

Sadly, the ones who have somehow imbibed just a small amount of training are the boastful ones. Training must be thorough and consistent. Of course, I did get into fights and I did get bullied. I was able to stand on my own and prevent any harm to my person or even to those attempting to test me. Except for one serious instance where I had no other choice but defend myself (one of my attackers landed in the hospital for a week), a handful of fights did happen but I gave generally shied away from any confrontation. This earned me the respect of my peers, my friends and even my bullies.

My godson, Francis Ivan Papa, whose home video I have featured here had the same problem with bullies, He was in fact being bullied by people smaller than him. At times, his mother, sister and uncles would rush to school and confront the bullies themselves. I decided to have him train in Kick and Stick Fighting (Siparnis) and Taekwondo. He is now 16 years old and a 1^st degree black belt in Kick and Stick fighting, a senior black belt in Taekwondo (a Korean Martial Arts) and a black belt in a few months in Stick Fighting (Arnis or Kali). Years back he dominated the stick fighting and taekwondo tournaments in their city and region. In 2005, he won the stick fighting (arnis) category for his age group in the World Arnis Championships held in the Philippines. In one bout he prevailed over a 6’2” opponent (he is only 5’4” tall) in what was dubbed by media as the fight of David and Goliath.

Did this stop his being bullied? Without a doubt it did. Even more, he now represents his school and his city in tournaments. His school accorded him a scholarship which handles a large portion of his tuition and expenses. Training is hectic for him what with having to contend with both taekwondo and arnis. However, his discipline has taught him time management and in fact propelled him to also excel in his academics.

Except for one instance where he floored one, in a group extortionists, who started to attack him. He has either shied away from fights or not gotten into any at all. He has also avoided other bad influences like drugs, smoking, drinking and gangs. Today, he continues his training to defend his titles and join tournaments. He is the pride of his school, his peers, siblings and parents!

Just recently, my 20-year old son, Niles Trinidad, was witness to an attack. He had just purchased some soda from a convenience store and was on his way to his car for the long drive home. Suddenly a cursing man crushed a lighted cigarette on his back. This burned a hole right through his sweater and shirt. It smarted so much that he immediately turned around and was met by a staggering punch to the jaw. This jarred him but in a reflex, he was in a split second on a back stance position and immediately punched the stacker on the chest before he could land another blow. This was instantly followed by a roundhouse kick to the face which left his attacker slumped on the hood of a car. His apparent girlfriend who earlier was smiling and proud at what was being done to my son and whom he accused my son was oggling was now shouting like mad. All at once a group of heavyset individuals rushed out of the store and my son beat a hasty retreat in his car. The attack was so unexpected and he was not even aware of looking at anybody much less the girl mentioned.

Violence is everywhere. Had it not been for my sons training in Taekwondo when he was still in high school, things might have turned out differently. His training was also my decision when he always came home crying and bruised from having been subjected to the attention of bullies. However, when he started winning tournaments in school and in regional meets, the bullies chose to avoid him instead.

I am very proud of these two guys. Ivan because he continues to surpass what I have achieved and only dreamed of and Niles because he has not forgotten his training. Indeed, once one starts to take martial arts training seriously, they become instinctive and ingrained in you. Much more the two are bully-free.