How to understand the game of rugby
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Cindy Vine loves rugby!
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A game played by men with odd-shaped balls
Not many people know this, but rugby is my all-time favourite sport to watch. To say that I am a rugby fanatic is the understatement of the year. I am a crazed rugby fanatic who will get up at 2am to watch my team play. Now, I am not talking about couch rugby here, the game played on the couch with a teenage girl and teenage boy while mom and dad are asleep upstairs, and they scrum and tackle and grope each other trying to find elusive balls and jiggly bits. And I'm not talking about women's rugby either, as that is just wrong and definitely not a turn-on for me. And not American football either as they wear ballet tights and so much padding they look like cartoon characters, and what the hell is it with those helmets? Nor Aussie Rules Rugby as they just seem to run around like a bunch of chickens with their heads chopped off. I've watched many games, and although the eye candy is okayish, they just don't float my boat. It could be the striped tank tops they wear and their ultra-hairy armpits. Rugby league is getting a little closer but many of the guys playing it are built like brick shithouses, rather than being Greek god types, and their thighs are so big I reckon they've circumsized themselves by chafing their foreskins off. Nah, for me it's all about rugby union. There is something about watching the boys run onto the rugby field, that makes my overies bounce up and down like ping-pong balls. As for soccer or football, it's just a bunch of bloody fairies prancing around and lying on the ground kicking their legs in the air like a cockroach just been sprayed with Raid, everytime someone almost tackles them. Frigging pansies. Nope, rugby is played by real men. Not many men make the grade.
And of course, South Africa are the current world champions. Just thought I'd add that to piss off the poms, aussies and kiwis.
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The rules of foreplay
Rugby is believed to have been started at Rugby School in England in the early 1800's, by some little guy called William Webb Ellis who got bored with kicking the ball in the mud and getting soggy stuff down his socks, so he picked up the ball and ran with it. There is speculation whether this is an urban myth made up by some yobbos on the piss in the local pub, but somebody took the story seriously, as the rugby world cup is called the William Webb Ellis Trophy.
Anyway, imagine 30 men on the field, 15 on each side, wearing very snug tight-fitting rugby shirts and short shorts, all to show off their bulging biceps, sexy hot manly bodies, and ultra-cute butts, all with testosterone pulsing through their veins, and you'll get the picture. Highly edible pieces of manflesh, parading in front of your eyes, making any woman go very hot under the collar and slide off her chair in the grandstand at the rugby stadium. Luckily, cold beer is plentiful to cool you down somewhat. I do think, that the reason why rugby is played in winter, is because women watching it in summer would overheat and maybe blow a gasket or two.
So, the rugby team is divided into the backs and the forwards. The forwards are the ones that indulge in pretty intensive foreplay. They smash and mash each other in tackles and you feel the hairs stand up on your arm in excitement. When they are naughty and enter the foreplay from the wrong side, a little referee blows his whistle and waves his hands about a bit. The other side can then get a free kick or a penalty kick between the two upright posts at the end of each end of the field. The ball has to sail between the uprights and over the bar. Rather like when you do high jump, only, this is high jump for odd-shaped balls. Sometimes the ref indicates that there must be a scrum. This is very highly developed foreplay. The forwards all assume the position bent over at the middle with their delightful butts sticking in the air - any pillow-biter's dream, and grab old of the guy in front of them's penis, using it like a penal handle of some kind. The ref says, "Touch, pause, engage," and all the men pull down hard on the penal handles of the men in front of them, and try and push the other scrum backwards, grunting with pleasure at the delights of having their penis's pulled. The shortest stockiest man on the team is called the scrumhalf. His job is to throw the ball into the scrum under the feet of the forwards.
In the scrum, no foreplay in complete without a hooker. The hooker grunts the loudest, probably because he has two men pulling on his penal handle, and tried to hook the ball with his feet, while moving forward and not falling on the ground. To play rugby, a man has to be able to multi-task. If the ball is kicked out, or falls over the side-line, the linesman who holds a flag in the air will signal who has the throw-in. The hooker is the one responsible for throwing the ball into the lineout. It is an amazing sight as the locks (the tallest of the forwards) fly upwards as if they have special space springs on their boots, and pluck that ball out of the air. The prop is usually the heftiest guy and is built like a beer barrel and you generally don't want to run into him in a dark alley at night. For me, the best pieces of eye candy are usually the flank and the 8th man at the back of the scrums. They have the most amazing bodies and ooo, I get hot and bothered just thinking about them.
The backs go forwards
The slightly lighter and speedier men with muscular legs and broad shoulders, stand in a line from side to side across the field and are called the backline. To be a back your legs must pump like that of a racehorse, and you must have 'good hands' and be able to pluck that ball out of the air at speed and hold on to it, even in a tackle. If your hands are not good enough to be able to caress that ball with your strong fingers, then you'll probably knock the ball on and give the other team a penalty. This does not make you popular with the rest of your team mates. Really good backs can intercept the ball when the other team are passing it across their line.
If you get tackled and you hold onto the ball, you are penalised. You have to pass it back to your team, as your teams forwards stand all over you with their studded boots and rake your back so that you look like you've been clawed by the manicured nails of a very passionate woman. In fact, the grass grazes on your knees if you go down in a tackle and land on your knees, can result in something that resembles carpet burns. This could prove quite difficult for a man to explain away - the rake marks on the back and carpet burn knees, if their woman doesn't know they play rugby.
Rugby Feasts
There are a couple of rugby feasts each year. Every four years, there is a rugby world cup. Did I mention that South Africa won the last rugby world cup? Every year the European teams play in a Six Nations Tournament. And Australia, New Zealand and South Africa field 14 franchised teams in a Super 14 competition. The Bulls, a South African team, won the 2009 Super 14 competition. The Trinations is also played each year between the national team from Australia called the Wallabies, the New Zealand team called the All Blacks, and the South African team called the Springboks. On top of that, other international sides also make tours to other rugby playing countries.
Did I mention that I love rugby? The physical contact, the rough way the men play, the speed, ball handling skills, the occasional fisticuffs when testosterone boils over, and oh my God, those amazing muscular athletic bodies. Phew! I'm overheating again! Go the Bokke! That's the cry you have to shout out at every moment of passion from now on.
So difficult o choose the hotties! There are too many!
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Comments
Princessa, there are some beauties out there, omigod, I'm salivating so much looking at some of the pics, that I've had to put a napkin under my chin to mop up the drool. I didn't put those pics on here as all the women on HP would have increased their body temperatures tenfold, increased global warming and melted the ice caps.
Well, Bryan Habana looks stunning in that pic but I still prefer a "baby face", someone more like Percy Montgomery, he oozes sex appeal!
Yeah, my ultimate favourite was Bobby Skinstad. he did this Jewellery store ad years ago with a diamond on his tongue, and omigod, what a long tongue he had. Shivers down my spine, I tell you! Found a cute pic of him without a shirt but for some reason, bloody China kept blocking it.
Thanks for the explanation of a game I never completely understood. Of course, I still don't understand American football either and I only sort of watch the superbowl. These guys are much more attractive though (sorry, it's my opinion!)
QOTL, you think the American football players are more attractive? I guess it's the whole package that makes the rugby players so attractive to me!
ooh Men playing with balls....love it! LOL That looks like a pretty manly sport. My co-workers son plays rugby and he gets ruffed up alot getting into it. by the way, the babies and your brother...wow what a resemblence....the babies are too cute! and I loved the nudy field pic too!
JJ, we might have to volunteer to give them a massage after the game!
Hell yeaaaaa! Rugby is in the blood ! great hub , yes you do have bragging rights ( for now)....lol..love the pics! ( as she grabs the ice from her water and rubs across her forehead)
.....England may have invented the game ,But New Zealand has perfected it...hahaha....( just have to watch that game!)...been watchin reality shows and almost ready to sign up for therapy now (lol)
Good Luck to the Boks....reckon they will turn those lions into pussy-cats...
No, I meant the rugby players are more attractive! I like the leaner look myself.
I'm afraid that I'll get killed for playing rugby with no protection?! But hey, you got me turned on with those sexy looking studs. ROLF! I'm going to have to come back here. hehe
EAGLEKIWI, THOUGHT you'd appreciate this hub. Did you get the website I left you on the sports forum where you can watch the games online live?
QOTL, cool! I was thinking, which ones is she meaning? Many of the American football guys are chunky monkeys.
That.s only couch rugby where you need protection, May!
You didn't mention that after the game the players all go, strip off, and shower together! (DON'T DROP THE SOAP), then go and get drunk together. And if a rugby groupie gets involved at the tour level, that seems to be done together as well. Although I believe that some South African and Australian rugby players actually have a degree of intelligence, and one of our past All Black captains was a Rhodes Scholar at the same time as Bill Clinton (who also played rugby) mostly the largest and least used muscle of a New Zealand rugby player is located between his ears. (I have on good authority that one of our top players of a few years back had to be told which way to run every half time when the team swapped ends.)
So if you go for neanderthal, go for rugby players. Just remember that Neanderthals are almost extinct The few left get jobs as cops, customs inspectors, bouncers, debt collectors or marines - and play rugby.
Cheers, or as Lomu would say, UGG.
TOF
How in the world did you get that guy's head to fit on GT's body in the 2nd underware add? It was a seamless job!! Well done!! I see raiderfan hasn't peeked in here yet..it's only a matter of time!
When do the naked teams play? I must fly out there for a game. I tried really hard to see something..anything.. but got nothing. Shame.
TOF, tsk....tsk...you just jealous of these hunky men. The All Blacks might be dumb but most of the Springboks have university degrees. Divan Serfontein was a dentist as was Uli Schmidt! We breed em rugged, hunky and smart down our way!
Candie, I'll let you know when they practise naked!
Excuse me I'll just go hide back in the library where I came from. Interesting game that I would last about three seconds in.
Nah Tom, I reckon you're a tough old codger. You'd do it! Springboks beat the British Lions tonight!
Oh,the rugby players are very strong and attractive.
We have two Rugby teams in our City. I don't think there are any of the beauties here though playing for them. Thanks for the eye treat.
No one's grabbing my wiener! cept womens
Dvn, you are right, very strong and attractive!
Ethel, we have to feast our eyes every now and then. Some countries do have rugby uglies, but South Africa they are generally hotties.
Ah come on CC, you'd love it!
Springboks beat the Lions last night, YAY!!!!
Who beat Who?
cc, I hear tell you don't have to worry about dentists getting close and personal. More a job for micro-biologists.
Candy. So That's why you're heading home, - not enough talent amongst the Oriental lugby prayers!
Sprinbboks beat Lions, okay, will admit, All Blacks were lucky to beat the French this week. But TOF, watched the rugby with a group of drunken skunken kiwi men last night, and they DID NOT do the land of the long white cloud proud. God, they were cheering for the Lions?????
Aww TOF....All Blacks dummies?? shame on you , anton oliver (looks like him in one of cv's pics) has a masters and a writer to boot ,pardon the pun ohh he could be a hubber....nahhh Ford take care of them boys pretty darn well...Go Ford !! daniel carter merchantiser to Gap (USA)he has a store downtown Christchurch...TOF must be an Aussie...lol
The Lions ,man how many nations is that rolled into one team and they didnt win...well done Springboks!! ( no wonder yer over-heating Cindy)..hehe btw that link you gave me ,is it free?
Yep, Eagle link is free1 Iwatched the All Blacks France game on it yesaterday afternoon. I think TOF is a closet Aussie!
sweet , just had a peek at the all blacks website , theyve changed sponsers 'Gatorade'...USA drink...lol more k'chings. haha closet aussie , ..thnx for link again
A hex on you. Nah, not a closet Occer, Not into cuddling up to bums in scums either. BTW, I heard that the frogs beat us,in the last minute. Did I miss something or was that the previous game?
This is why I love hubpage because of the continous comments. C.C, ya better stay out of the football field. You guys and gals had inspire me to post a new hub. Working on it right now!
Well, you've given a whole new spin on a game I know very little about, which translates into a game I care very little about. But your pictures alone there will entice me for a second look.....
Good one, Cindy!
-eh-em- and rugby is an interesting sport...um, I need to um, look more into the sport...for the competition, of um...what we talking about again?
Wicked hub, Cindy. Again...you made me blush.
Rugby -- a sport that sounds dirty but isn't. But really, it is:-). Oh my! These are some fiiiiiinnnneee specimens alright. Yessiree.
I was introduced to rugby in England in a mixed crowd (Brits and Kiwis). I have always been intrigued by the Haka they do at the beginning of the game. Man, if I were playing against them I'd definitely be intimidated! It's not natural to be able to stick your tongue out so far out of your mouth, is it?
Anyway, very entertaining hub. And yes, I believe you did mention South Africa winning the World Cup. Congrats!
Yeah Eagle, methinks they running out of sponsors. Link is a pleasure.
TOF, they won yesterday 14-10 but lost last week to the frogs.
May, looking forwaed to reading your new hub.
LM, those hunks ARE worth a second look.
AIDY, those rugby hotties are wicked lol
MM, rugby is not a dirty game! Gosh, smashing, mashing and bashing is part of the fun. The guys enjoy it and it's great to watch!
Maybe a 3rd.
Or maybe you and k@ri could just combine this one and her's with all the hot Vin Diesel pics and I wouldn't have to scamper around here so much....
LM, just think of the weight we lose with the scampering around!
Does drooling burn calories?!? Oooh! I'm so excited! Maybe I'll have the nerve to stand on the scale again!
Drooling over hot hunks loses you up to a fifth of your bodyweight and assists in combating water retention and swollen ankles.
LM, Cindy's right. She's the expert on drooling over hot hunks. Hey Cindy, someone told me that hot flashes combined with the drooling can increase that number to losing one fourth of your body weight! Eve heard that?
Where can I get these hot flashes?
Ah MM, that all makes sense to me now! That must be why I am melting the last few days!
LM, I believe that we can get hot flashes when we go into the men's locker room to pass them a towel when they come out the shower. Alternatively, we can get Tom, Cris and Toad to give us a hot flash lol
Here's your tow....oh, wait! We must be out of towels. So sorry.
I remember as a little girl being very upset that my brother got to go with my dad after the football games back to the locker room and I didn't. I was always stuck with the cheerleaders and would have rather been hanging out with my dad. Then, when I got a little older, I was upset for other reasons. I was required to do alot for the different sports teams at my school, but if he ever realized that I never once complained about having to be the 'trainer', he never let on.
lol LM sounds like you were a little pervy girl. Good one! Yeah, don't know why we couldn't go into the locker rooms
hi, just came back for some eye candy, this page keeps calling my name :-) just arrived from a wild party and I cannot get to sleep... so just popping in to find some inspiration for sweet (hopefully hot) dreams
I'm too tired to read, can I just look at the pictures and pretend I read?
lol Princessa, I watched the Lions Sprinbok game in a pub last night, yum, yum, yum, def gave me sweet dreams!
Randy, maybe you look at the pics and keep coming back like Princessa!
My eyes are starting to close, thinking about sweaty bodies... a mixture of the party's contorsions which I am sure had nothing to do with rugby! and visions of your rugby players... I think in a couple of minutes I'll start warming up and falling asleep. Nite,nite and seet dreams zzzzzzzzzzzz............
sweet dreams Princessa.............
Oh where is a fan? I can see the benefits now in liking this game....I knew nothing much about the game before as you know, it sounds so interesting and enthralling, (nothing to do with pics), I can see I am going to like this sport.xo
Oh Blonde, you have quite a few hunky Aussie players there as well you know, you can get quite hands on, so as to speak. lol
Hi Cindy just popped by to say Hi, and congrats on your score, is that why you head appears bigga.
Its freezing here.
have a fun day.
Arohanui, the much understood.....lol hahahahah
Hey Badgirl, that's probably why my head is so big lol! But hey, see I included a pic of Dan Carter!
Thanks for the info. To be honest, i don't think I have seen a rugby match. Might have to change this.
Oh RGraf, you really do have to watch a game of rugby! Should be on everybody's bucket list!
Yes a very well set out Hub Cindy, need more like you and all my favs, Hell its such fun posting, when I now they don't want me to! Am I rebellious or what???????????? Have a great day/night Cindy Cheers
mandy
Hey Mandy, it's always good to see you popping in for secret visits! Hey, we gotta educate the masses about this great game, eh? I fancy the Springboks chances in the Trinations!
Great idea Cindy. We had a few players on the news the other day caught in a big sex scandal.....as I said Iam going to investigate this new sport of mine, just had to come back and have another peep, oh bugger it, who am I fooling, this page has some hot hot pics hahaha
Omg you are 100 again woooo hooo god Cin you running hot girl.
Its because my team won, its bringing the good luck to me
Yeah sister of AFRICA
Go Bokkkkkkkkkeeeeee
want to watch......
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2985363/boks_v_lions
and
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2992072/boks_v_lions
Saturday another win, just better than yesterday with Developing Boks.
Well done Developing Boks
Love the new you! Excellent hub! I think one of your best yet.
Cin where have you been am missing you, I am thinking you are moving...
@Blondie I think she said she was leaving for South Africa today (Thursday).
This is a great fun funny hub. BTW i was a rugby player in my youth. I played flank, eighth man and Lock and really enjoyed the game. Now I am a fanatical fun and try to watch most games at all levels
Hoowantstono, will be watching rugby this weekend, now watching Bafana Bafana play Brazil.
RKHenry, can't quite remember, didn't you once make a request for a rugby hub? Glad you enjoyed this one!
Blonde, been travelling for days, finally arived in Cape Town this afternoon and \i'm exhausted, shattered, and like a zombie.
Sixty, am also a fanatical fan! Yebo!
Awesome.. thanks for sharing
Thanks, Hubpagewriter!
You did not have to say much to make me come here Cindy, still just as potent as the first few times. Boy I wont forget Daniel Carter in a hurry. :)
Yum yum, I agree! can almost forgive him for being an All Black!
Haha hell yes well I am off to bed have to get up early tomorrow. I will have to catch up with you though I wanted to ask you how you are liking Africa???
Africa is brilliant as always! God, love it so much!
Rugby has the best camaraderie of any sport, has the best traditions of any sport, and the best athletes of any sport. (I've played Soccer, American Football, Track, Wrestling, Basketball and Rugby so my opinion is based on my experiences.)
Rugby made into the Olympics!!!!
Shikaka, rugby into the Olympics? That's great news!
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Princessa says:
5 months ago
Thanks for this Hub Cindy, I love Rugby, I never understood the game, but I just cannot resist watching those Real Men playing around. I admit that most players are not beauties but what they lack in beauty they have ten times in manlyness grrrrr!