How to write a book in 14 days-Chapter One-even if you have never written a book before

I'm a big fan of democratizing writing. I don't think folks in ivory towers are the only ones worth reading, and that the average Joe can spin a good yarn or spread advice as well as the next bloke.

That said, I do understand why we have standards in writing. Some people should not be allowed on a keyboard. To that end, I have some advice, (and like all advice, you can chuck it or burn it in your brain) for those wanting to write and make money doing it.

Don't be dense dude. The net is a jam packed place full of lots of advice and eyes get strained trying to take it all in.

White space is your friend.

So many people are spilling out their guilty English composition flashbacks and putting out boring drek. Don't do that. Don't be that guy. Write just like you talk-

EXCEPT

If you talk, um, like this, and like, you know, don't really have much to say, unless, like, it's like worth saying. You know what I'm saying.

If you talk like that, (and you know who you are) don't write. Just listen. Actually, don't even read this. Go get a book, maybe some Dickens and read it. Come back here when you're done. We'll wait. Go on.

You're not reading Charles, are you? Okay, we'll save that for later. For now, just write how you talk, and then go back and edit by removing all the extra words that don't get your point across.

But how on earth can I reach my goal of 50,000 words if I don't add in all the little extra ones my word tool can count?

If you're asking that question, then you've lost sight of the goal. That goal being to provide fun, INTERESTING information to your audience.

Trust me- your audience wants you to give it to them short and sweet. Maximum information-minimum time to insert through the eyeballs and into the brain.

Some advice for the book writer in all of us. Be brief. Think like a journalist (and most of their stories are written just to fill space, a practice I abhor). But journalists are good at giving you everything you need to know in the first paragraph.

Who. Did What? When did they do it? Where did it get done. Why was it done and how?

Think about each page like that-

Now break the rules and just give all the information you need to pass on in no particular order.

But you just said- forget what I said. If you start thinking about the writing, and how to structure it, you're going to get bogged down. Don't fret the structure. Just tell it. Someone told me once, show it, don't tell it. So I grabbed a video camera and started making movies-

I think he meant to paint a word picture, and while those can be effective, in the world of narrative non-fiction I think minimalism should be the tool by which we measure all stories.

Be Brief. Like tighty whities. Be descriptively brief. But above all, and this should be painted on a frame board around your computer screen,

BE INTERESTING.

Above all else, no matter what, be worth reading.

And to be worth reading, you can't be thick and dense and scare people away because your story looks like legalese.

Be bold. Be daring. Tell me how to do your hobby just like you would instruct a friend. But don't write down a set of instructions. Just talk to me.

Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me squirm a little in my seat and recognize some part of myself in what you are saying. And if you can't do that, then entertain me.

Be a smart ass. Be a wise ass. Heck, be a dumb ass and make me shake my head and gloat over how I'm better than you. (I'm not, but your audience might think that.) You're going for a reaction.

Spit it out onto the page. Don't stop and think about it. Just write it down. Then spell check it, and post it, and move on. Write something else and start thinking about tomorrow.