How will you know if your husband is gay!?!

Hey before I start this very broad and sensitive topic about homosexuality, I would just like to let you know that I have nothing against gay or anything of its kind.

Homosexual, whether gay or lesbian is nothing new to me. In this world that I am living there were a lot of them. I can say it is not as taboo as before. They are now more accepted by the public. The only question right now is how their family coped up with that especially to the young homosexuals who have just discovered their real selves. Some families have embraced their new personality easily but most are having a hard time particularly the fathers who are expecting something big from their “unico hijo” or “unico hija”. But other than the roaring father of a gay or lesbian child which is a very common scenario, a wife of a confused husband is also another story to tell.

Well you wouldn’t come up to this question if you don’t see something wrong with him. Now each item below wouldn’t be a guarantee that he’s gay, but put them all together then more or less he is. What is best is for you to ask him directly. Clear all your doubts and tell him the reasons why you have asked him that.

• Being vain - You’ve noticed lately that he’s been very conscious of his looks. He’ll look not just once, twice or thrice in your life size mirror. He’ll spray on that perfume gazillion times. Wait! I knew a lot of straight men who are vain, but if you’ve noticed this momentous transformation he’d probably want to look good for someone else, maybe female or male. You’ll know if it’s you he wants to impress.

• Hate gay people – He’d seen one and say something that is not so nice. He can’t stand being on the same room with a gay person. He’s afraid that he’ll get noticed. You know the saying, you will know one if you sees one.

• New found male buddy – He receives frequent quick calls from his new male friend. As if this new guy is checking on your guys business every second. He’d go out at night for a drink with this guy or he’ll say with a group of new male friends. You’ll ask him regarding this and he’ll say that this guy is his best friend. Hey you’ve just met this guy and now you’ll tell me that he is your best friend.
• Lack of interest on you – He’ll turn you down whenever you want to make love with him. He’ll often sleep on the other side of the bed turning away from you. And when he says yes, he’ll have the strangest new way of doing it, and you wonder where on earth he had learned that.
• Private internet habit – You can’t disturb him when he’s roaming the net. Worst he doesn’t want you to see what he is doing. If ever you’re the detective type, you’ll find out he’s looking to some LGBT porn or he has kept some LGBT magazines.
• Exaggerating his manliness – He doesn’t want to be teased as gay. He doesn’t want to play gay in any themed party, whether in your family reunion or in his company event even if the others will do it too. He is uncomfortable when the topic is about his masculinity.

So what now? You might hate him for fooling you; you might hate yourself for being fooled. You might get embarrassed by this revelation and think of what your family will say about this, what your friends will think of you, how you can protect your children with this dilemma. Of course these thoughts will be rolling your head but you won’t fix anything by worrying these things much. You have to talk it over. Ask why he had to hide it to you. If he says because he doesn’t want to loose you; then ask why. Is it because he loves you too and he’s afraid that you might leave him or he just uses you to protect his image. If he says he loves you then there’s hope. You can ask him to give up all his sinful acts and you can still live together, well that is if you still want him after what had happened, but hey if you really love the guy and the damaged is repairable then why not. But then if he is not happy with you and you are not so happy as well, I suggest you go separate ways. Maybe both of you can find somebody else to love and you can both be happy in the end.

Yes there is hope, I have seen some and had been very happy with their chosen path. It is in ones willingness to change that will make the process a success. The support of his family and friends especially his wife in this case is very important.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version)

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.