What I write here evolves from some painful experiential learning and sound guidance to work through grief.

It is best to begin understanding grief as a process that has no set time frame to travel within. The loss of a loved one seems to hit us in the deepest ranges of our souls and leaves us all with a bevy of emotions that need to be acknowledged, experienced and released. Grief is not a simple sadness that is quickly expressed and placated. To mourn the death of a loved one takes time and the experience of this process will differ from individual to individual. While the grieving process can be agonizing at times, it is necessary and cannot be hurried.

While not every loss we face in a lifetime will extend a lengthy grieving process, we as humans grieve our losses on every level. It was difficult and remains difficult for me to uphold an attitude of tolerance when it comes to grieving the most significant losses in my life but I want to extend that attitude of tolerance as being vital to the grief process. A person can only effectively grieve on their own terms and in their own time.

Throughout the world and among different spiritual practices are some very beautiful and affirming rituals we engage in to honour the passing of a loved one and to grieve. We hold funerals, light candles, create tributes, share stories, reflect, pray, meditatate; the list is bountiful. These rites demonstrate and an entitlement to our grief. In my humble opinion, there is no one way to grieve the loss of a loved one and it never hurts to explore the ways others work through their grief, even if their beliefs conflict with your own, their experiences may hold value or comfort nonetheless.

Be merciful to yourself for you have endured a significant loss in your life. You have the right to grieve and to grieve in the ways that best comfort you. It takes time but time in turn proves a glorious healer.