Emotional Depression is a debilitating condition that changes your whole life. Depression can manifest as the result of stress and or a physical health challenge. This article has been the most difficult one that I have written to date. I share some very personal information about my ordeal with emotional depression.

My bout with depression began shortly after I accepted a new position in Paris, Texas. My new position required me to be separated from by wife by a 6 1/2 hour commute from Oklahoma to Texas. The stress of placing my house on the market, the associated packing in preparation of the move along with finding a place to live in Paris evidently took a major toll on my physical health. After a couple of months of commuting, my house sold finally sold and the move was on. Everything finally seemed to be coming together. With the U-haul loaded, we headed for Paris.  On the day of the move, my oldest son, traveled from Dallas to help me unload my furnishings into my apartment and storage building. The unloading process was uneventful and we returned the rental truck a couple of hours later. 

Then it happened, after returning from the U-haul dealer, I fell as I entered through the door of my apartment. I became extremely cold and my body began to shake uncontrollably. After 15 or so minutes, I began to feel fine once again. Being the man that I am, I blamed my little incident on fatigue. I noticed a new symptom on the following Monday morning. I had lost half of my vision in the left eye. I once again blew the symptom off thinking it was just a temporary thing.

I never told anyone what symptoms I was experiencing. Finally on Friday, I realized that this condition was not going to get better without some type of treatment. I called to set an appointment with a local opthamologist that morning. When I began describing my symptoms to the nurse, I was told to come to the office immediately. I was so naive, I should had suspected that something serious was afloat. As soon as I arrived at the doctor's office, I was ushered in to a examination room where they began to run a series of tests on my eye. After waiting in the examination room for what seemed to be an eternity, the doctor stepped in and began to review the results with me. He informed that I had had some sort of a stroke in my eye and possibly a mild stroke or TIA in my brain. He immediately referred me to a local medical doctor who made me an appointment for an MRI on the following Monday.

I can NOT even put into words the fear that gripped my heart when my doctor shared his findings with me. My head was flooded with negative thoughts. I feared that I would have another episode except this time I would become paralyzed and thus become a burden to my family. I even had thoughts of death. I thought that I would not live to see the next Christmas. I feared how my family would handle the news. I questioned how I was to financially support my family if I could no longer work. That day was the worst day of my life. The worst part of it all was how to tell my wife. I did not want her to worry or freak about our future prospects.

When I arrived at my apartment, I began to share the findings of the doctor. I purposely made light of the seriousness of my condition, but somehow I knew that she suspected that I was not being completely honest. The next step in my journey was to be a MRI on Monday.

That day my newly obtained physician directed me to go to the local hospital for an MRI exam. The test itself was quite a challenge in that you have to lay totally still in the MRI tunnel while the machine images your brain. The test was a series of various timed segments. After several of these segments were completed, dye was inserted in my veins and another series of segments began. While laying in the MRI chamber the mind races and every part of your body that can itch DOES! The only moment of happiness, in that period of my life, was when I was told that the MRI was complete. Now the long wait for the dreaded results.

A couple of days later my doctor called and asked me to come to her office to discuss the results of my MRI test. Upon arrival, I was once again directed to an examination room. The doctor walked in, introduced herself and began to review the results of the MRI with me. She told me that the results of the test were not conclusive, but she thought that I might have had some sort of stroke or TIA. She went on to say that only time would tell. She told me she wanted to start me on some medications, wait for a few weeks and have another MRI test performed. The doctor felt that some plague on my artery walls had broken loose and caused a blockage, thus a stroke or TIA. She went on to warn me that if it was a TIA, it would very likely that another one could occur in the near future. She went on to explained that we needed to be proactive with this very critical condition. She therefore wrote me out several prescriptions for me to begin taking immediately. One of those prescriptions was for a drug named Plavix. The purpose of the drug Plavix was to dissolve any additional plague on my arteries walls. As she shared this information I could not help but feel like I was a walking and ticking time bomb. As I left her office, I sensed depression setting in with a vengeance.

I was so depressed that everything in life seemed hopeless. I became a hermit. I did not want to see or talk to anyone including family members. I only wanted to stay home, watch television and sleep. I could not even go to the local walmart or a restaurant without experiencing a panic attack. I had to literally force myself to go to work each day. It seemed like my entire life had come to an end. My entire personality had changed. I became irritable and very short tempered. My wife had to walk on egg shells around me. I never had any thoughts of suicide because I was already convinced that I was going to have a stoke and die within a month or so. I really don't think anyone realized the terrifying level of my depression. I was fearful and totally empty. i never laughed, smiled or showed any emotion except for anger. The funny thing about my condition at that time was, I did not even know I was suffering depression. I wanted to get and feel better, but I was not sure how to achieve this goal.

Let me be perfectly clear with you. At the time in my life when I was suffering from depression, I did not possess the knowledge that I have now. My depression lasted much longer than it should have because I did not share how bad I felt with anyone including my doctor.  It was a mistake not seeking any professional mental health help. I was essentially my own worst enemy. Much of the hell that I experienced could have been avoided had I sought some professional help. Please, if you think you are experiencing depression seek help Immediately. RUN don't walk to get help.

The two things that I had going for me in the recovery process was my personal faith and trust in God along with the tremendous support of my wife. On the spiritual side, I never lost my confidence in God. In my heart, I knew that if I would continue to pray and trust, I would get the victory over this curse. On the human side, I had the support, encouragement and compassion of my precious wife. She loved me unconditionally and put up with my periods of anger and rage. She supported me even when I did not deserve it. Most of the time, I did not treat her very well, but she was persistent and handled me with great wisdom. She encouraged me to take her on short car rides, occasionally take her to a movie and even go out for dinner. She encouraged me to become more active in family and church activities. Little by little she was forcing me to leave my house and go out in public. We would sometimes have to return home almost immediately because I would start to have a severe panic attack. I discovered that the more I made myself act like a normal person, the more I responded like one. My recovery was not a instantaneous event, but occurred over many months. I have now completely recovered from depression enjoy my life once again. By the way, my second MRI was also inconclusive. To this day, no one is really certain what happened to me.  The doctor told me that my sight would never return to normal.  I am blessed to tell you that 100% of my sight has returned to normal. I have never had a recurrence of any of my stroke or TIA symptoms. I have since made several lifestyle changes in order to improve my health.  I have learned how to manage my stress, I am exercising regularly and eating more healthy foods. I no longer have to take Plavix, but I do take one baby aspirin per day as a preventative measure to improve my blood circulation.

Friend, if you are depressed, you can get better with a little help and support . The first step in overcoming depression is to understand its types, its causes, its signs and symptoms. Below I have included some great information on depression. Please take the time and educate yourself on this condition.  Educating yourself could make a major difference in the life of a friend or loved one.

Major Depressive Disorder has symptoms that totally disrupt a person's life. It keeps them from functioning normally. it interferes their ability to work, sleep, study, remember, eat, and even to enjoy hobbies and other pleasurable activities. Major depression may only occur once in a person's lifetime, but too often, it is a reoccurring event throughout their life.

Dysthymic disorder, also none as dysthymia. This disorder normally has long term (two years or longer) but less severe symptoms.

Other types of severe depressive disorders are:

Psychotic Depression

Postpartum Depression

Seasonal Affective disorder (SAD)

Bipolar Disorder

A single cause of depression is not really known. Depression is likely the result of the combination of genetic, biochemical, environmental, and psychological factors.

Studies have indicated that depressive illnesses are brain disorders . These studies have shown that the MRI results, for brains of individuals suffering from a depressive disorder, look much different than individuals without a depressive disorder. The parts of the brain, in individuals with a depressive illness, that are responsible for thinking, sleeping, eating and appetite control appear to function abnormally. Also, the chemicals that brain cells use to communicate (called neurotransmitters) appear to be out of balance.

Some types of depression appear to be genetic in natural, as they tend to run in families. However, not all depression occurs because of genetics. There are other factors such as environmental, trauma, abuse, injuries, the loss of a spouse, child or other loved ones, and difficulties in relationships  Just about any stressful situation that may trigger or contribute to depression.

Every person will experience depression differently. The severity and duration of their signs and symptoms may vary. Not everyone will experience every sign or symptom.

The symptoms of depression include the following:

• Anxiety, Sadness or Empty Feelings
• Pessimism or Hopelessness
• Excessive Feelings of Guilt, Worthlessness or Helplessness
• Irritabilities
• Feelings of Restlessness
• Loss of Interest (Activities, Hobbies or Sex)
• Fatigue or Lack of Energy
• Difficulty Concentrating and Remembering Details 
• Insomnia or Excessive Sleeping
• Change in Appetite or Weight
• Thoughts of Suicide or Suicide 
• Persistent Aches or Pains or Headaches
• Cramps. and Digestive Problems (do not improve even with treatment)

• Difficulty in Making Decisions

  
  

Most illnesses have specific medical causes that make treatment fairly easy. For instance, If you are a diabetic, you will take insulin or some oral medication such as Metformin. If you have a hernia issue, you will have surgery. But unfortunately, depression is much more complicated. Depression is not just the result of a chemical imbalance that is can simply cured by taking medication.

There are certain risk factors can make you more vulnerable to depression. The following is a list of those risk factors:

Risk Factors of Depression

• Lack of social support
• Loneliness
• Recent Stressful Life Experiences (Such as Loss of Loved One)
• Family history of depression
• Marital or relationship problems
• Financial (Such as Loss of a House, Car, Business or Bankruptcy)
• Early Childhood Trauma or Abuse
• Alcohol or Drug Abuse
• Unemployment or underemployment Status
• Health Problems
• Chronic Pain

If making positive lifestyle changes or the support from family and friends do not appear to be enough, take to your personal physician or seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective treatments for depression. Becoming educated and learning your options will help you decide what measures are work best for you. .

Depression may make you feel exhausted, helpless and hopeless. It often can be very difficult for you to take action to help yourself. It is imperative to realize that these feelings are symptoms of the depression and do not accurately reflect reality. As you begin to understand your depression and start the necessary treatment, those negative thoughts will fade away.

In order to help yourself you must:

• Begin some mild activity or exercise program. Take in a movie, a ballgame, or some other event you at one time enjoyed. Become more active in your local church or social groups.
• Set realistic goals for yourself.
• Break up large tasks into small ones, and set priorities and do what you can as you can.
• Try to spend time with other people, Confide in a trusted friend or relative. Do not isolate yourself, and allow others to help you.
• Expect your mood to improve gradually. Often during treatment, your sleep habits and appetite will improve before your depressed mood completely lifts.
• Delay all of your important decisions until you feel better.  Decisions such as getting married, divorced, or changing jobs. Discuss your decisions with trusted family or friends that know you well and that have an objective point of view of your circumstances.
• Be assured that your positive thinking and outlook on life will replace your negative thoughts as you respond to treatment.

Please understand this, If you know someone who is depressed, it will affect you also. The absolute most critical step you can take to help them is to help them get the appropriate diagnosis and treatment. You may also need to make an appointment on their behalf, with their personal physician or mental health professional. Always be supportive, offer to take or go with them on their appointment. Encourage them to continue their treatment, but if there is no improvement within six to eight weeks, encourage them to seek different treatment.

In order to help a friend or relative you should:

• Offer your emotional support, understanding, patience and encouragement.
• ·Engage them to talk and listen carefully.
• ·Never be disparaging of their feelings that they express, but point out reality and offer them hope.
• NEVER ignore comments about suicide, and report them to your their doctor or therapist immediately.
• Invite them to take walks with you, or go on outings and other activities. Do not give up. Keep trying if they decline, but be careful not to push them to take on too much too soon.
• Be careful, although diversions and company are needed, if too many demands are made it could increase their feelings of failure.
• Remind them that with time and treatment, the depression will subside.