So you've just broken up with your ex and the piercing pain in your stomach is still there. You're thinking about life and you feel like you can't make it without your ex. Nothing seems to taste the same anymore, everything feels lifeless, lonely and desperate. But you keep thinking " you keep thinking to yourself," right? But your friends are all telling you to move on...But they don't understand how it feels! 

I know exactly how that feels, trust me. I remember my first love -- we'd spend every waking moment together, and if we weren't, I know we were dreaming about each other while we slept. If we were away from each other, we'd playfully leave text messages for each other or call at every break we had in the day between our busy schedules of school and work. After college, she decided she needed to help the children of the world out in every way possible. One of the reasons I loved her so dearly! She strived to become a pediatrician and it became a long distance relationship. At first things were great, but without seeing each other so often, it became a challenge. Things weren't the same anymore, and everything was getting lost in everyday life. In the end, we agreed that we needed to break things off so she could achieve her dreams. I tried to maintain composure but the more I thought about it, the more it hurt. Every time a love song played on the radio, that deep pain from within would just reverberate throughout my body. 

So I went to my friends and asked them, "If you were me, how would you get back with your ex?" and they all said the exact same thing: "It's impossible, just move on." But I didn't like to accept defeat like that. So I set out on a mission and I did what I thought would work best. Gifts, poems, chocolates, and flowers! Surprisingly, this did the opposite to what I was trying to achieve! She started to 'miss' my phone calls and wasn't replying to her text messages nearly as quickly as she used to. And it only got worse... Hours turned into days. And days into weeks. What was I doing wrong? The sick feeling in my stomach only got worse. 

At this low point in my life, I really couldn't turn to anyone. Everyone I knew, said that was it. Trying any harder would get me nowhere, they told me. They said I did everything right. Little did I know, after some research on the internet, I found out I had done everything wrong! Those gifts, poems...sent an invisible message to her. That I was not a man. And this is the worse thing to show a female By now you're also thinking "Dang. So how did you get back with your ex," right?

I found that I should've gotten over her immediately! By hanging on, I showed her that I had no control over my emotions. And that control that a woman has over a man, is not attractive. We are men, and must act like it! They want a male figure in their life, that will protect them. And if you can't even control your own emotions, why would they want you?

Having learned this, I set out with a new mission in my life. I'd take hold of my career, and to be the best young professional my company had ever met. I also decided to run a marathon and started training for that too. I ignored her completely and did my own thing. Soon, I started to meet other people and I started to forget about her. Suddenly, she was calling and texting me! Wondering where I was and what I was doing. I told her we could be "just friends" and nothing more. Suddenly she turned up the notch and now she wanted to visit me on the weekends. I told her I would think about it...and called her a day later and said sure why not...

Well, after a few months of being "just friends," I am happy to report that we are now engaged! So there you have it. That's how you get back with your ex!

It has been one of those fairy tale movies, hasn't it? Everything is just going right and you're the happiest you've ever been in the longest time. You have a beautiful woman that stands beside you, through thick and thin. You have a great job and you're happy working there. You have your golf clubs, and you indulge a little bit every now and then at the golf course.

But she doesn't think so...her life has become boring and she's tired of the same routines. She has tried to keep it inside and has not let you know what has been lacking inside of her. She finds that everything is dull and worse, she's finding that she's not in love with you anymore. She's at that point, where she doesn't really care anymore, and she feels that she needs a change. She's indifferent. And now she's come to the point that she realizes she needs a change. And you're part of that change. You didn't do anything to keep the flames lit, and now she's about to extinguish it...

And now she's gone. She called yesterday to tell you that she doesn't feel it anymore. That things needed to change and that she's going to take some time to herself to figure herself out. What that really means is that she's going to start finding new hobbies, meeting new people, and trying to date new guys. New guys? What, were you really that bad? Don't worry, everyone has gone through this situation before. It's a part of life that'll never escape any of us. Sure, we all had our high school and college dramas. And you would think that you'd learn from that by now. But unfortunately, the same cycle repeats itself, over and over, even as an adult. You start asking questions, "what did I do wrong?" and "how'd this happen?" and ultimately you present the question to yourself, "hmm, how do I get an ex back..."

Well, here's what I've learned about how to get an ex back. Basically, you must do the opposite of what everyone else tells you to do. There are a lot of mis-beliefs that you need to woo them again. That you need to turn up the romantic wick on them to make them feel attracted to you. Some will even tell you that it's a great idea to buy really expensive gifts like diamond necklaces and take them to expensive dinners. I'm here to tell you that this does not work very well! The problem with this approach is that it shows you're willing to be a door mat to get her attention. That you'll act like a dog as long as she's willing to love you again. Do you really want to be a dog? This is what drove her away from you in the first place! Here's what you really have to do, to win her back. Forget everything that you think works. There's an old Chinese proverb that "only an empty cup can be filled." You must be ready to be an empty cup. You need to dump out what you know about yourself, and reinvent yourself. Until you're ready to do so, you will go nowhere. Empty your cup, right? Good, lets move on. So how do you get an ex back, right?

Easy...Ignore her! That's right! You need to ignore her and show her that you don't need her. The problem that you've been doing here is that you've been smothering her! Don't worry, it took me awhile to figure this out too. I had to use the internet to do research, and learned the hard way. I would buy her flowers and send love letters over. And she kept ignoring me. So play her game - show her that you don't need her! Go continue playing your golf, and find new hobbies, like racing car perhaps! And meet more women...whatever you do, meet new women. When she catches wind that you're out and about, not sulking, it'll create feelings deep within her. And if you play your cards right when she calls you, you'll be right back where you wanted to be -- in her arms!

Doesn't it hurt when you see the one you cared about most, just walk away? He just walked out of your life like you never existed in the first place. And now you're sitting there in a ball of pain curled on your bed crying...and he's still walking past that door in your head, replaying every last step.

Sure you guys had your problems, but now you realized that he cared for you really deeply. That time he'd take you out to dinner to try and cheer you up after a long day at the office. Or that time you got really ill, and he came by and made chicken soup for you, even though he had a long day in the office with a meeting that had gone sour. How'd this all go so wrong so fast?

It all started out with those little problems; nothing major, just nagging ones. Being a woman, you thought that you could change him, and make him better. At first, he seemed like he was accepting it, because it was working! But what did you expect? You just met him! Everyone always shows their good side at first - ultimately their flaws will surface. Did you really think that he was going to be perfect? What's the fun in that? Maybe you did, but cut him some slack! But that's another discussion for another time. Right now, you want to get back to business; you want to know how to win back your ex, don't you? Of course you do! But first, you need to know one very important step. That this is not going to be a slow process, especially the first step. The first step is probably the most important because you will have to do things that will actually get your mind off of him. Why do that? You'll see... Like I said, when people ask me "so how'd you win back your ex?" I said "Simple! Ignore them." This works because it starts to get the ball of attraction rolling in the other person. This is easy enough in the beginning, but you need to actually carry this momentum, and this is where it gets tricky. You need to start doing things that will take up your time so that you stop thinking about him! By doing so, you'll actually force him to make him miss you subconsciously. He'll start to wonder where you're at and how you're doing. He may even consider calling you...and give it enough time he will definitely call you.

So how else do you win back your ex? Well, after you start to redefine your life without him, when you do finally contact him, your options are pretty straight forward: You need to show him that you're no longer that person trying to change him. That you are a new person, that does not need him if he doesn't want to come back, but that you will welcome him back if he so chooses. Also, ask to catch up over something new. Instead of a dinner, make it a tea. Instead of going to the book store, go hit up some golfing. Show him that you weren't the person you used to be. All these little things all add up to "hey, she's a new girl now...interesting..."

By separating the past and the present into two distinct groups, you are able to turn the page and start a new chapter. A blank page to try again! So lets recap: "How do you win back your ex?" Easy. Become stronger on the inside and become a new person that doesn't need him. It'll bring him back faster than a hungry dog!

There he is, the love of your life. He's been absolutely great to you - he nurtures you when you're sick. He knows to take you out when you're having a bad day at the job. He surprises you with a planned vacation to Hawaii and has pronounced his love for you. There he is, the man of your dreams, walking out the door right now, and possibly out of your life forever. It started out as a small argument, and it turned huge. Exploding into a screaming match best heard in small stadiums. Suddenly, you're dragging feet through the mud as you bring up every little problems from the past to the present and possibly even knocked on his dog too! He was aghast to what you were saying and has effectively made it known that he is not happy by walking out. The emotions just boiled over, and you didn't know the effect was going to be so strong. So what happened? Yes, he was great, but he wasn't perfect. You being you, you tried to change all the little things that made him great. Women don't seem to realize that guys are imperfect for a reason: they are men! Men have a life long journey that they must fulfill to make sure that they remain a man. And women sometimes decide, on their own accord, to try and change their course. They do it through the little 'suggestions, dislikes, disapproval' and men will usually put up with this for so long. Oddly enough, I think every relationship I've ever been in has resulted in the same results...with me knowing that it wasn't going to workout...except one. More on that in a minute. At this point, the feelings come flooding in and you realized what costly mistake you have just made. You ask yourself "Damn...how do I get my ex back?," in between your sobbing tears. There are two options that you can do this with: you can do what most do, and try the typical "I'm sorry, please take me back" method or the more daring," I'll get over this, and I'll walk away from this because I learned a very important lesson." Which do you think is more effective?

If you picked the former one, I'd say "I wish you the best of luck," because I think you'd have a pretty hard time getting your ex back with that method. Don't worry, if you ask your other friends "How do I get my ex back," they'd probably recommend this too...it's just that it's wrong is what makes it a shame!

Now if you said "I'll get on with my life..." well congrats! You're well on your way to winning him back. Ironically odd, isn't it? The one time the girl walked away, it made me think about her like no tomorrow! I actually missed her! And that's how I got my ex back... So what if you're one of the former and you want to be the latter girl? This will take some time, of course. Nothing is easy -- but you can work on it. Don't you think this is the better option than crying and begging him to come back? Exactly!

Now, go do whatever it takes to get yourself out of this rut. Go out on the town with your friends, or perhaps grab dinner. Go to the movies or go find a new hobby. In fact, finding new hobbies are great because it forces you to be active consistently and you'll miss him a whole lot less. Perhaps even working out would be a good thing as well. You'll absolutely forget about him! Maybe you'll even meet someone new!

The wonderful thing about this technique is, it forces yourself to become in control of the situation. Him walking out, him dating other girls, you missing him...puts him in control. I know, I'm giving away secrets but... hopefully things will workout in the end, and you'll make the right choice for yourself. I'm glad my girlfriend did what she did, it made me want her so bad and I'm glad she took me back!

You're feeling kind of lonely -- and now your mind starts to wander back to those times with your now ex-boyfriend. You'd imagine how he'd use to cuddle you in his big arms on a cold day as the wind kicked up from the east on a fall's evening. Or how he would come over and surprise you by cooking dinner...just because. But his attention to detail was what really captured your heart - his impeccable timing when you were down, he'd be there with a telephone call. Or just the fact he remembered how terrible you matched your outfit on your first date...

Unfortunately, he was too great. Too perfect perhaps and you suddenly stopped being you, and started to become less confident and you started to forget your life goals. Perhaps it was becoming a teacher, or a doctor, but now your career started to suffer and you were forgetting what it was like to be yourself because you only worried about losing him and becoming very jealous. You'd call him when he was hanging out with his boys and would nag him when he'd hang around some of his girl friends. You'd constantly text message him every 5 minutes asking where he was at, and what he was doing. You weren't you anymore...

He noticed too...and he didn't like the changes that were occurring. This wasn't the girl that he fell madly in love with in the beginning. He wanted the old you back, and now he's losing that connection. On top of that, the constant nagging did little to make him feel that attraction he felt for you. Being policed like you were his mother is hardly what he thought he was getting into! And so began the break-up process...

You snap out of it, and you decide that you want to change for the better. You say to yourself "It's time to get my ex back!" Great! So how do you do this? Here's 3 simple tips that will help you get your ex back: 1.) Be yourself again. Be that person that he fell in love with in the first place. The best way to do this is to first realize that you are still strong on the inside. You need to be you again. That fun person he adored being around. And the best way to do this is to think positive about yourself. In fact, it's the most important tip of all...so when people ask me "how do I get my ex back?" I tell them "be positive." everything else falls into place.

2) Thinking positive will need some support in itself. The best way to do this is to re-energize yourself with hobbies and hanging out with your friends. Your friends can be a emotional pillow for you, but can also help you by taking your thoughts away from him.

3) Let him come back to you. When you become that fun, strong person again he'll find out. He'll start to miss you and think about the old times. At that point, he's guaranteed to make a call to you. But sometimes we are stubborn and you may need to initiate the contact. So find some mutual friends and hang out. Show him you're having a good time again and he'll be hooked!

Soon, with these 3 tips you'll find yourself right back in his arms! You surely won't be asking "Hmm..how would I get my ex back?" but rather, "So what's for dinner tonight dear?"

It was one of those "once upon a time stories...," that you always see on the big screen, but could never imagine it happening to you. You know, saw the hottest girl you've ever laid your eyes on. But you were shy, and didn't do anything and thought you never had a chance...but by pure chance, it was raining, you had an umbrella and you shared it with her. Sparks flew, and next thing you know, you're off to Paris for a vacation and you're absolutely smitten!

However, not everything is perfect in paradise -- this isn't the movies and neither of you were as perfect as first perceived. You have flaws, and so does she. You start to make mistakes and she's starting to not work on the relationship nearly as hard as she did the 1st 6 months. Who knows what it could be, her career perhaps is taking priority? But you do what you've always been told to do, be that nice guy and so you push. But unfortunately, you're pushing the wrong way and she is not agreeing with your approach. She's becoming really distant and suddenly she's 'too busy to hang out' and you're not able to reach her. There's no urgency from her end...and she ends it. She calls you out, and suddenly, you have no more GF, and you're crushed. A gut wrenching feeling from deep within. Sound all to familiar, doesn't it? Don't worry, it happens to the best of us. The problem is that you're doing everything that those movies tell you to do, to 'be there. Show her your love, and everything will be okay..." Oh boy! How mis-leading those romance movies are! The problem is, you're supposed to do the opposite! So what do you do to get your ex back, right? Well, try following these 3 steps to get your ex back:

1) Get your own life back in order - make sure you don't focus your life around her. Focus it around yourself - get to the gym, find a new hobby like photography or writing. Read some more! Doing this, you will shift your mind off of her.

2) Start meeting other people - the quicker you meet other people, the less likely you'll think about her. You won't have time to, between your ex and your new found hobbies. Oddly enough, by not having time to think about her, you won't contact her. And she'll find this oddly strange: "What gives...?" She'll be compelled to contact you...sooner or later.

3) When she does finally contact you, you'll need to remain calm. Remember, she ditched you - why are you going to give her all that time of day again? Stay calm, relax...if she wants to meet up, give her a time...next week. Why? Because you're busy with your new hobbies and friends. Make it simple where you both meet up. From there, it's up to you...enjoy it, don't bring up old times, make it a new beginning.

Soon, you'll be on your way back to creating those initial sparks and getting your ex back!

That gut wrenching feeling feels like it is eroding the insides from normal lungs, hearts, and stomachs into little pieces of ground beef...You guys were having problems, but you never really thought the extent of the problems were this deep! The most perfect woman in your life is taking the highway out of your life faster than you had time to say: "Wait, hang on!"

And now, you're just sitting there in the chair, waiting by the phone, just hoping that she'd call you back...Well I have news for you, those chances are very, very slim. At this point in time, many questions will rummage through your head - you either give up or you chase after her. And if you are ready for that fight, I hope this article will help you on your quest of how you are going to get your ex back.

So, is the best way to start sending flowers and candy? No! You thought this was going to be one of those articles? Of course not! What you are going to do now, to win her back, is to ignore her! Odd I know, but when people ask others how to get your ex back, they usually have a really lame planned lined out by becoming what they see in movies: go to her, show her that you love her and be super romantic. Listen, the girl just walked out of your life, what makes you think that by being romantic, you have any chance with her? Would you want to be around someone trying to force their love on you when you just tried to shut them out of your life? Of course not! Instead, give them exactly what your ex asked for, and show that you still have control of your life.

The problem here is that whenever you meet the perfect girl, you start to tend to her every needs. At first this is fine but when she realizes she has complete control over you, things start to change. She needs a real man in the house, and you are giving her all the control in the world. Your ex soon realizes that what made her fall in love with you in the first place, isn't there anymore and she starts to grow distant from you.

So now is the time to show her that you do not need her. These steps I have found, are some of the best ways to get your ex back. First off, start by meeting new people. The quicker you meet new people, the quicker you can start dating again. By dating again, you'll slowly realize how imperfect your ex was.

Second off, concentrate on other things in your life, such as your career. Perhaps you wanted to go back for that Masters degree. Take time out of your life to work on making yourself more attractive to yourself. This will let her know that she did not affect you as she thought she might have. Last, but not least, do not pick up that phone to call her! Make her call you - and if she does not, it is her loss. By meeting new people and making yourself attractive to yourself, you'll automatically attract the opposite sex naturally. Sure it may not be automatic, but you're a better person for it. Eventually though, she will contact you - she will find out you are doing all these things without her, and she will start to remember the old times. When she does call you, play it cool -- lead her to a cup of coffee but don't make a big deal out of it. Your carefree attitude, which should resonate from deep within will help make you the most attractive person ever! And in no time, you'll have gotten your ex back!

It was the perfect moment - you met at a friend's party and immediately the fireworks started to take off and explode brightly in your eyes. You took her out on dates, and time would stand still as you talked for hours upon hours. There was nothing stopping this freight train of love! The more you saw her, the more you loved her, and the more time you would make for her. It was great! However, the story was not the same for her. You kept calling her, asking her to hang out. And if she was not there to hang out, you would nag her about it. Or when she would make some time for you. You kept telling her that you felt neglected and that you wish she would see you more often. After a few months of this, it was starting to become cumbersome and she felt suffocated. And finally, she broke the unfortunate news to you...

The news was gut-wrenching, leaving you without wind in your sails. Life felt like it ended right there as she was delivering the news. You being you, were unable to do anything...what happened you start to wonder? How did I get to this position? Simple - you simply was not the man in the relationship. You put all your eggs in one basket and forgot that you had a life outside of her. When you do that, the girl becomes hugely disgusted of you, because they are not able to play out their role of being the female. They want a man...not a woman! So how do you get your ex back?

Well first off, become a man again! Realize that there is more to life than just girls. Do not be needy - become that guy that she fell in love with in the first place. Go and pick up your hobbies again. Go and become something more than just a love-struck guy. Show her that you have a life again. This is absolutely key to get your ex back!

Once you do that, make sure you meet other people - this sends a signal to her that she is going to have to work hard to get back into your life. Value yourself, and know your worth. When you go out and meet other people, she will wonder if you are the same old guy, or the guy she fell in love with in the first place.

Finally, after awhile if she does not contact you, go ahead and give her that call. Hopefully by now, it has been a few months, not a few weeks. If it has only been a few weeks, stop and drop that phone! Ask her out to something really simple like a cup of coffee. This is really where you work your shine - you need to show her that you are not the same needy guy, but someone totally new. That you won't tolerate being the "woman" in the relationship again and that you are ready to wear the pants. And that you are going to keep it that way!

There you have it. These are the best ways to get your ex back. I have been in this situation too, and I did a lot of research on what the best approach is. One last piece of advice is to not do what those romantic movies tell you to do. They have it all wrong!