How to Make More Time For Each Other

Sometimes it seems like my husband Alex and I have such divergent schedules that we have to block out time on our calendars to spend together. He's a full-time professor and goes to a lot of conferences and seminars in addition to his teaching schedule; I'm a full-time student and as much of a freelance writer as I can be between classes and homework. And we fully share the responsibility of raising a two-year-old.

The scary part is that relationship and counseling experts agree that long-term couples who don't make time to be together are far more likely to drift apart - and eventually split up.

Here are some things we've learned to do to create the time for each other.

1. Have supper together. It's a very rare evening that we don't sit down at the dining room table and eat supper as a family. Which is good, because we rarely eat together at breakfast or lunch! Even if we have to eat at four-thirty in the afternoon because I have an evening class, we make a point of eating together. And ninety-nine nights out of a hundred, we succeed. That half hour of final meal preparation and eating may be the only quality time we spend together, so we make the most of it: no television, no radio, no reading books at the table (my personal bad habit). We talk.

2. Turn off the television. Not every night, no, but don't be afraid to turn off the idiot box once in a while and spend quality time with your partner. Or leave the TV on but give each other a good shoulder and neck massage while you watch something you both want to see. The other night I wasn't interested in what was on the tube, so when I let the dogs out for their final potty time, I went with them, and curled up in a patio chair and just enjoyed the cool evening. After about three minutes, my husband came and joined me. We just sat for about twenty minutes, talking about not much in particular. It was lovely.

3. Find a mutually enjoyable activity. This could be as simple as committing to a twenty minute walk every evening, or as fancy as taking dancing lessons or a karate class together. I teach a puppy kindergarten two or three times a year, and the whole family - including one of the dogs - has gotten involved. Our daughter is great at helping young dogs become more accustomed to young children. My husband is a great assistant, and often notices the students making mistakes that I miss. We may not talk much during the one-hour class, but it sure gives us a lot to talk about afterwards!

4. Take advantage of your drive time. With gas prices as high as they are, I don't recommend habitual long drives in the country, but if the two of you happen to find yourselves in the car on the way to work or the grocery store across town, take advantage of that time and talk. The conversation doesn't necessarily have to be about your relationship. You know all those things you think of during your day and say, "I must remember to tell my sweetie this!" A car ride is the perfect time to do just that!

5. Turn off the computer. The Internet will still be there in the morning. So will any work you "need to do." So will World of Warcraft. This is the end of this article, so why not finish this sentence, click that little "x" at the top right of your monitor, and go find your sweetie?