How to Propose

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By Rhomylly


Did you know that at the beginning of the 21st century, it's perfectly okay for a woman to be the one to propose? Not that it's any less scary for a woman to ask her sweetie than it is for a man, but it's like asking someone out on a date - anyone can do it, and it doesn't matter what your gender is!

That being said, how do you ask someone to marry you? The following tips should help.

Make sure the relationship is ready for it. Is your "home" wherever your sweetie is? Is your boyfriend or girlfriend also your best friend? Can you imagine a future without this person? Has the phrase, "someday when we're old" started to creep into your conversations? Do you ever say to yourself, while cuddling with this person or in the car going somewhere, "this is the best - and I love it"? If your honest answer is "yes" to all or most of these questions, honey, you're already married and you don't even know it! It's time to pop the question and make it official!

Make sure the family is okay with it. This sounds terribly old-fashioned, and it is, but on the other hand, you are not only going to live with your sweetie for the rest of your lives, assuming a "yes" answer when you pop the question, you're also going to have to live with the reality and proximity of his or her family, too. Talk to your future in-laws, separately or together, and tell them what you have planned. If they have the chance to give their blessing in advance, your married life may be a lot smoother. If there are children from a previous marriage, either your sweetie's or your own, in all fairness you should at least give them a head's-up that you want to add to the family.

Practice, practice, practice. The only words in the English language that are harder to say than "I love you" are "Will you marry me?" Practice saying them, in the shower or on the way to work. If you'd like to say a few words about how much your intended means to you, or if you'd like to propose with fancier words than just the basics, write them down! Read them to your sweetie at the proposal. He or she will probably think it's endearing as hell, and will make your chances of a "yes" answer even more likely!

Make it memorable. This is the most important part of a proposal. Let me give an example. My first husband David asked me to marry him in the car on the way to the grocery store to buy cat food. Yes, the car was actually moving at the time! There were good, practical reasons for this, but it was not the romantic, sweep-me-off-my-feet marriage proposal I'd always dreamed about. My second husband Vincent tossed his proposal out almost as an afterthought one afternoon at home. Easily forgotten. I don't even remember what he said. My third husband Alex was smart, and proposed to me in a way I will never forget! We met (according to him, I don't remember him) at an Earth Day celebration in 1990. He asked me to marry him in front of a couple dozen of his friends at an Earth Day celebration in 2000. Fortunately, everyone was armed with cameras! It was beautiful, heartfelt, meaningful, and something I will remember forever! See why Alex is a keeper? Whether it's at your favorite restaurant, on a hot air balloon ride, or in the lobby of the movie theater after a chick flick - make sure the occasion of becoming engaged is memorable.

Now, stop reading! You've got family to ask, a speech to rehearse, dinner reservations to make and, very likely, a wedding to plan!

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