How to Survive as a Belly-Dancer

A quirky look at the strange world of belly dancing through my eyes.

If your troupe commits mutiny you can always start a new one.

You are never too old or fat to learn a new step.

The public always thinks belly dancing is easy, until they try it.

Safety pins are your best friends.

It is rude to upstage the featured dancer.

Learning to play the drum makes you a better dancer.

Most drummers aren't there to make you look better. They may not like you stealing their thunder.

Finger cymbals make good weapons. You can clock a rude waitress at 20'.

Watch out for cigarettes. They are not veil friendly.

Boob shampoos aren't really sexy.

A shoulder shimmy is not the same as a burlesque shimmy.

Any club that wants a free audition on a Friday or Saturday night is just using you.

Hot asphalt does not go well with bare feet. Always have shoes handy.

Broken glass really does not go well with bare feet. Whether it's a broken glass at a bar or one of your glass beads breaks during a passionate shimmy, shoes are still the smart way to go.

Ceramic drums break when you drop them. Gravity sucks.

Belly dance costumes are flammable. Don't learn this the hard way.

Watch out for overhead fans and fluorescent tube lighting. Swords and veils don't go well with them.

Snakes are good escape artists.

People don't stop dancing because they get old. They get old because they stop dancing.