Sure it's been a few years since I've been in high school, but I have never been rejected. Wait a minute, I have been rejected time and time again. But thats the secret to success guys—failure.

You are likely reading this because you did a google search in your third period class for "how to ask a girl to dance". Maybe there are a few friends sitting around the computer, and you think it might be funny to write a comment about what a "white boy faggot" i am, but before you do that, I urge you to read my article.

The most important thing is confidence. As I said before, you will fail, often. But you gotta have hope. You gotta believe. There is no sense in approaching a girl if you feel like you have no shot. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Especially not anyone remotely attractive.

From a very young age, attractive women are taught to belittle and oppress men who are interested in them. It works well—men stay interested because they want to chase, and women get their only shot at gaining the upper hand.

Stay on the lookout for comments from women that seem like are trying to belittle you. This is an expression of their own insecurity and often a sign that they are interested.

The approach

Ideally you have already pumped yourself up with some affirmations, you're wearing your freshest duds, and you bathed that day.

Make some small talk, try and make her laugh a little. This is basically the interview, if you do a good job here, you are displaying the time she will have with you at the dance.

Confidently ask the question. If she says she already has a date, or you are just rejected flat out, it's time to swallow sadness. Perhaps you'll want to TP her house, spread a rumor about her venereal diseases, or take a dump in her locker. I encourage all of these things. The sought after girls have had it too easy for too long.

If she says yes, your job has just begun. Unless you want to throw away any chance of a make out, hand-job, or blowie, you'll want to show the lucky girl a great time. So try and dress well, smell good, be charming, and have fun. You're gonna have to let her do her own thing for a little while, so stay cool when she makes a run for her friends. Hang back, maybe go to the bathroom and take a swig of the personality enhancer/ liquid courage you sneaked in. That brings me to the most important rule:

Don't get too drunk. Eh forget it, have fun. You're young. You'll have plenty of time to be sober in college.