How to ask a girl to dance

This has never failed me. I have asked plenty of girls to dances, and let me tell you, it's never easy. One time it went like this:

"Hey Sarah!" (Her name was Megan). "Would you like to go to prom with me? I really need a slut to bang afterwards!"

So I bet your wondering why you should be taking advice from me. Reason #1: I was Winter Formal King. My mom still has the crown to prove it. Reason #2: I've read The Success Principles by Jack Canfield and select exerpts from Get Anyone to do Anything. Reason #3: If you've met me, you know I'm pretty effing charming. Whether or not this translates to success with girls is disputable, but whatever. Reason #4: I'm the bomb.

Ready guys, you might want to take notes, or click print, and keep this in your wallet for the rest of your life.

Start the day with some affirmations like:

• I am enjoying the fruits of having confidence and charm.
• I am the bomb.
• Any girl would be incredibly lucky to go out with me.
• I am delighted with excitement because (girl's name) said she would love to go out with me.

Remember to walk with excellent posture and 25% faster. These are simple confidence building excises and will make you focused on your goal.

Strike up some conversation. This is obviously easier if you are already friends, but if you aren't, still treat her like you are. Use positive language, and make eye contact often.

Example of bad conversation:

Megan: Hey James, how are you?

James: Shitty, I think I just failed my math test. (staring at the ground).

Megan: Oh, that sucks...

*AWKWARD SILENCE*

Example of good conversation

Megan: Hey James, how are you?

James: I'm doing great Megan! I just nailed my math test. You look nice today.

Megan: Thanks.

James: Hey I heard you had a great... (blah blah blah).

Pop the question. Be real about it. Don't stutter. Don't break eye contact. Simply say, "Would you like to go the dance with me?" If you've executed the previous steps correctly it's a yes for sure. Or she might already have a date.

If she says "Yes" say this.

James: Awesome! I guess we can work out the details later, I gotta go to class, but I'm really looking forward to it!.

If she says "No" or already has a date, say this.

James: Oh that's a bummer, I didn't know you liked to hang out with douche bags, anyways, good luck not getting pressured into sex!