How to be a great mother-in-law?

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By wittywriter


My Daughter-in-law and my Granddaughter


How to be a great mother-in-law is a question for the ages. Unfortunately, I have been married three times (I'm on my third and final marriage). I have three boys, ages 21, 8 and 6. I am also a new grandmother. This is a unique and new experience for me. I just turned forty and I am just seeing gray hair. Note to self, get hair dye.

Being married so many times I have had the chance to have two mother-in-laws (my current husband's mother and father passed many years before I met him) and I have seen my mother be a mother-in-law to several men and a couple of females. (There are five of us, three girls and two boys. All of us have been divorce more than once but my brother who is fortunate to still be married to his first wife. Lucky, bastard.)

My mother has her good days and her bad days at being a mother and a mother-in-law. My new experience as being a new grandmother and new mother-in-law, I am striving to be the best at both. Now, I will not lie to you and say that my son's wife is what I wanted for him, but he loves her so I feel that I should love her for my son's sake. Okay, she is not bad, but can we say that she is not playing with a full deck. However, she is putting up with my son which is no picnic to begin with.

So, how do I become a great new mother-in-law. Luckily, my new daughter-in-law makes it easy. She has a habit of kissing my royal butt on several occasions. But, seriously. It is nice that she calls me for advice and she comes to visit me even though my butt-head of a son can not take time to even call me on Mother's Day. Just yesterday she called. Just because she was wondering how I was and how things were going. I am sure it had nothing to do with the fact I just gave them my old car because she needed one to go to work with. No, that could not be it.

I guess, being new at all this, I can only say to be honest with your daughter-in-law, be loving and kind, because if you do not - I am afraid she will divorce my son and he will end up moving back in. Oh, god! I just scared myself.

I am a caring person and I have a wonderful granddaughter that I see quite frequently. I have been able to bond with her and able to some what spoil her. She definitely knows who her Gramma is...

My daughter-in-law is caring also. She loves my son very much. I have to respect her for that - definitely. And I am sure we have camaraderiefor putting up with my son. So, it puts us at an advantage at being friends. I call her my little midget daughter. The poor girl is about four feet something and my son is six foot two. She is a work-a-holic. Which is good, because my son can not hold a job if it was to save his life. But he is good to her and the baby.

Well, they say that war brings many different friends. Kirsten, I am here for ya. My war is now your war. I promise to try and be a good mother-in-law to you. The best I can. Love ya!

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Haunty profile image

Haunty  says:
8 months ago

Glad to hear you're decision. This is the kind of quality every mother-in-law should exhibit.

Proud of you.

wittywriter profile image

wittywriter  says:
8 months ago

Thanks, I just love my kids and would do anything for them.

Motherhood Trials  says:
8 months ago

Hats off to you ! I am a mother of 3 adult children and 3 small children. They range from 27 and married to 5yrs.old and in kindergarden. The adult children have been far more challenging than the young ones ! I admire your outlook on being a mother in law but what happens when those sincere methods just have not accomplished what they should? When how you want to be is nothing like they will allow you to be lol ? As a mom myself (and have been a good one if I must say)..I have a problem with not being listened to and then expected to fix ones problem ! Some of this goes with still teaching your children even after they are grown but some kids just expect it as the ROLE that you owe it to them to be ! Would you concider a hub for this topic? Thanks-MT :)

wittywriter profile image

wittywriter  says:
8 months ago

Yes, let me mull over that topic. That sounds like a hub in the making. Thanks for the idea. Also, thanks for sharing and the comments. As always, comments assist in my mind producing other hubs. :)

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