NEWS Flash: Harvard University now following me on twitter!!!

Thank you for coming even though I plan to waste your time. You could be cleaning the coils under or in back of your fridge trying to save a bit of scratch, help planet. You may note that I tend to write in Twittereze (I b sorry) That's just what happens if you spend enough time there. Mostly vitriolic attacks on the far right and pushing my huge art collection. Please stare at letter "K" for 1 minute to waste your time. K

Wife is sleeping so I'm somewhat relaxed just now, ha ha, the world is my oyster. I had a writer's file with The Tonight Show back in the day. Dennis Miller swiped one of my jokettes even though he was not NBC. Tell Me: My jokette: My invisible friend, Noodle, HIS jokette: My invisible friend, Mr. Noodle WHAT ARE THE ODDS? I saw this on TV.

I have been on TV a bit because I am an attention hound (but you know that already) I do surprisingly OK! It is always my artwork. Tips for being on TV, if it is to be at your home, turn up AC so you don't sweat. If you have a good light source for camera person, get it out and set it up. I have one of those quartz work lamps, 500 watts. May help save camera man/woman a trip back to truck. Also, get snapshot of them so you can show friends.

Most of you probably don't have a bunny so I'll give this tip to help waste your day: Don't feed it alfalfa hay, give it timothy hay, alfalfa will kill bunny eventually. Here's a tidbit I made up and perfectly useless except once I did use it 4 secret code: The Bunny sugar is on the ears!

If you have read some of my other writing, you may know that I was actually slapped by a Guru. Am sure you already can tell why! Wife burned me on bare ass with a match, how's that?

I have a huge hollow ball that I made, large enough my medium size daughter once climbed inside.. Right here in the living room. You can see ball on my art cart if you look around net. Even on youtube. Make your own ball! Fun!

One of my famous mosaic eggs is in the White House collection (no, they did not pay) Museum of Fine Arts, Boston has one also. "Unique collection" J. Paul Getty Museum Sorry I brag, I don't get out much anymore. Did live in NY, Paris, Alaska, etc. Waste of your time right here.

My theory on behinds: You have a booty, a butt, or an ass. I have an ass! Please write to me about what you have, collecting data. No photos please..... ok, maybe 1

You want one of my jokes? OK. Was on Beach in Santa Barbara, macho woman comes by and kicks sand in my face. I tell her: I don't like sand in my face..... so she kicks it off! Is dumb, I know. Old one: Ex-President, Jerry Ford, was so clumsy on the slopes that his wife, Betty Ford, waxed his skis with Preparation H Ha ha ha, funny!

You with me or are you gone?

Cat Precious brought in a rat a couple days ago and released it in our home. Fricking cat. Not the first time! She and Creamy the Cat (male) camped in our guest room trying to hunt down that rat. Think it got away.

You do know I am ordained Minister.... Universal Life Church That's why, once in a while, I tell people to help poor. My job. Bless you! Don't want to say too much here or HubPages will flag me for Duplicate!

confession: Been tweeting about Sacramento High Speed Monorail, there is no Monorail! Yes, am bad. I want one, but there is no monorail. Also want Cessna Grand Caravan , will call it Tramp Air and paint beat up top Hat on plane.

Have also been tweeting Sacramento Diamond Mine, no mine. No kimberlite pipe, Nada. Heh Heh. me bad. Made lots of jokes about theft reduction, cavity searches. Am so, so, bad!

Normally, I don't lie.... Mr. Truthful. Yes, did live in Paris! Flew Icelandic (cheapest way to go and you can see green and blue glowing icebergs as you fly great circle route. Iceland makes world best butter which you can gobble up on aircraft. My huge plane so old, was not a jet! A Connie, I believe...

I was in power dive and nobody came on radio and said: "Pull Up! Pull Up!"

Call me if your are in Sacramento, Ca see famous art collection. F.

Will go now, hope you read this exact same doc tomorrow. Will waste much time. You can pretend you are reading so people will leave you alone to think!

Love you, Farrell Hamann

Sacramento, Ca

When in Sacramento, ride Monorail

OK, When I was on KCRA TV in Sacramento, and had, back then, not a lot of TV experience, Told them I suck eggs!  (To make mosaic eggs)  Daughter troubled, I laid face down on sofa about 1 hour.  TV viewers liked!  KCRA played it all day, night.  I'm so dumb!

Nice anchor woman and husband on news made icky face... Don't blame her, she so cute!  Much later, my daughter served them and brought wrong wine.  They were very gracious.  Of course, everyone is enchanted with my incredibly beautiful and lovable daughter.  Old woman would catch her at mall and say she belonged on a music box, that gorgeous.  Really, not just proud talking.

Wife with eyes blue like Ellensburg agate now up!  Am nervous!  That hyper woman!  Must play it cool.  Thank you for coming here, wasting so much time on feckless me. Luv U.