Over the holiday, I watched JFK, the Oliver Stone movie, about the JFK assasination. It was amazing on all of the different theories and scenarios that were brought to light.

From JFK, to Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, ... to George Bush knowing about 911, and General Motors.... I have found a case that I can not believe has escaped the attention of Michael Moore and Oliver Stone. ... The long assumed "accidental death "of one Mr. Hump T Dumpty.

For over 100 years, the public has been satisfied with the"great fall theory". Although there were no eye witnesses, this has been unchallenged. I think the case should be reopened, with all of our advances in forensics and technologies. Let's examine the facts of this bizzare case.

Firstly, I think we can rule out suicide. Mr Dumpty was regarded by most who knew him as a "good egg".. Although he had his share of problems in his life, it seems doubtful he would have "cracked" under pressure. Hump was a Christian, and always believed his "yoke " was light, and He would not be given more than He could bare.

Now, addressing the accidental death assumption. Mr. Dumpty was a "well rounded" guy, and very practicle. He was not a politician, or indecsive in any way, so why would he be sitting on a fence or wall?. A little known fact is, that Hump was scheduled to play in a golf "scramble", just 20 minutes before He was found. Seems rather unlikely he would have been just sitting around, rather than preparing for his tournament.

We must also review the facts of this case. Was there really any attempt made to save Hump T Dumpty? The medical team, who arrived on the scene , consisted mainly of horses , and a few of the King's men. I find gross negligence in hiring horses as paramedics,even if the horses feel they are some super qualified studs.As far as the "king's men", we do not know what king, or in what capacity they served. These "king's men, were reportedly avid hunters, and it is not beyond reasonable doubt, they could have been "pochers".

Now we must take a look at some of the suspects. Hump was last seen with three associates, The Butcher, the Baker, and the Candlestick maker.I think we can rule out the candlestick maker, for He was a close friend, of Hump's. In fact he conducted the sonagram , for Mrs. Dumpty. Although, some say the candlestick maker became very close to Mrs."Shelly" Dumpty, at the time , I dismiss this.

The butcher, although sadistic in nature, had no real motive for killing Hump. True . He was a cold and a "hard boiled" human being, but it still dosn't fit.

That leaves the Baker. It was rumored the baker was making three cakes that day, and was badly in need of eggs. In these days where people are shot for their tennis shoes, or mugged for forty dollars, I find it logical, that Mr Baker, being in need of eggs, was trying to steal Hump's most precious possesion...His inner self.

There were also 3 neighbor's of Mr Dumpty's who's alabis don't add up.One fiddle playing cat, a hyper active cow, and a little boy, with a sense of humor.

According to reports, during Hump's fall, this Bovine was said to be out of town, as he claims to have witnesses who will testify He was jumping over the moon at the time. Now, I have never thought of a cow as an athletic animal...Neither spry, or particulary agile..So This alabi as to his where abouts don't ring true to me.

The cat claimed to just be "fiddleing " around the yard at the time, and all the little boy would do when questioned, was giggle, and mention something about this beautiful girl, known as "the Dish", running away with the local cocaine dealer, who's street moniker was"The Spoon"

More investigation needs to be done, and they should look for good egg"salad" evidence. When they do find this vicious character...I hope he "frys".I call for his immediate "eggsacution"

PS: Two notes

1.. Humpty Dumpty was actually a cannon in the English civil war. It sat atop a tower , defending the town of Colchester. After an 11 day assult, the enemy finally destroyed the tower, and the cannon fell to the ground. The king despensed cavelry and soldier's, but they could not repair Humpty Dumpty...

2Since writing this, I have found other stories on questioning nursery rhyme characters about Humpty. If I plagerized, it was unknowingly, and I apologize....Mike