I didn’t win Mega Millions AGAIN! I don’t know what I am doing wrong. Every Friday as I leave work I tell my staff that I QUIT! They laugh and respond with “See you Monday.” “Not if I win the lottery, “ I reply.

From there I drive home, hitting the local convenience store on the way. The guy knows me by now.

“I need five mega millions, cash option, and no megaplyer (don’t need it for the big prize). Give me five Texas lotto the same way and a five dollar scratch card. Fifty thousand is better than nothing. I scratch the card and, voila, nothing. That’s OK. Didn’t want to use up my luck on a measly $50 grand.

Howard Clark on CNN says that you have a better chance to get hit by lightning three times than winning the Mega Millions. THAT is why I buy five tickets. My odds are now BETTER than being hit by lightning. Saturday morning rolls around and I check the numbers. I found this site that lets me check to see whether I won and, if I didn’t, would I ever have won. I used to check it that way but figured out that I would not really want to know if I would have won $150 million last week. That would be worse than never at all. Long story--- I didn’t win, AGAIN. I check the new jackpot. OH NO! Someone won my jackpot! I hear on the news that TWO people had the right numbers. Wonder how many times they got hit by lightning. I’m thinking one more would be good.

That’s OK. Who wants to split $210 million. I would rather have it all to myself. I’ll pass on that one and try for the Texas Lotto tomorrow and hopefully won’t have to split it. My wife and I dream of how we will use our new found fortune. Had we won the biggy, she was going to give each of tthe kids $20 million. I was thinking more like $2000 and tell them to get a job. Suddenly were not talking about a nice little house to retire in but a log mansion on the ocean. Best of all, we escape from Texas!!!! Sorry Texas readers. Remember this is all a dream.

Sunday morning rolls around and it’s time to check the numbers. Doesn’t take long to figure out that I didn’t win. The first number is nowhere to be found. In the end, there are three numbers on the whole sheet. At least if they were in a line, I’d have won three bucks!

Monday morning, as I drag back into work I hear the cheerful greeting of my wonderful crew. “Didn’t win lotto?”

“Oh, Shut up.” Oops, that wasn’t very customer and boss friendly. “Oh, Shut up, please.”

I can’t wait until Friday. I will definitely win next week barring an errant lightning strike.

Stuart

Treasured Pasts