I Do Hate Clowns
83Images that are still unpleasant to me…even to this day…would have to be “Clowns”!
They have about as much positive nostalgic association for me from when I was a kid as getting “carsick” on a long trip from crayon fumes! Feeling nauseas anyone?
I Do Hate Clowns…
I hate clowns and their goofy masked expression…
Hiding beneath their smile…their own deep depression.
Jumping around together in some strange melee...
Using that crazy horn…instead of having something to say.
They could scare you…if you think about it…as a kid…
I know many times their plastic-coated empty faces did.
Michael Myers…Alien…Exorcists…are not as scary as the clown from “It”!
I can still see that clown’s face…and unfortunately…may never forget.
What a whacky sense of humor to have…
Sometimes laughing…when you shouldn’t laugh.
Sometimes trying to be funny while wearing stupid frowns…
Ok…it’s official…I really do hate clowns!
But…what is it that bothers me still…after years as an adult…
Did they trip me up…and laugh at me…or hurl a big insult?
I did not have a problem with them as part of the circus show…
It’s when they get up in your face…that creeps me out…you know?
I am sitting here…trying to figure out…why I would even write of them…
Of childhood birthday parties and circuses…a long time now it has been…
I’ve met a few of them...and talked…enough to call one an acquaintance or friend…
But deep down inside I have a question…which pops-up every now and then…
“What makes you paint that thick grease-paint mask over your face and to pretend?”
That holds enough of a crazy image in my brain…that with eyes closed…I can see again!
A crazy face…that’s frozen in time…an image that will live to time’s end…
A smile plastered to your face that you try to give out…but may only lend!
I want to tell you to wipe that smile off of your face and remove it permanently…
“Dang-it”…that image of your “whacked-out” smile is now stuck in my memory…
That’s how it goes…and ultimately always the way it must be…forever…
The things that get stuck in our brains…though older…we just can’t shake ‘em…NEVER!
So…you can see that when this image comes to mind…it pisses me off a great deal…
There is no need for a psychological analysis…I’ll tell you exactly how I feel.
That stupid mask you’re wearing mushed to your face…The one with all the frowns…
It looks just like I feel right now…Damn…I do hate Clowns!
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That was great. The title made me laugh because I have so many friends that say the same thing.
A sentiment shared by so many, yet, where would the circus be without them? Thank you, you said it so well!
I hate clowns so much -grr- I was shocked when I reached the bottom of the text in the hub and woah!!! the biggest clown face I had ever seen, what made it worse...the other clown picture. Other than that, thanks for the Lols.
"It’s when they get up in your face…that creeps me out…you know?"
my thoughts, exactly.
I kept quivering as I read this--I've always felt the same way towards clowns...
And those pictures, yikes--I'll never get to sleep tonight, lol...
Also--you mentioned the clown in "It"...I started the book, and could never finish it because of that darn clown!
You sure hit the nail on the head with this hub-it's great!
Ok...then we are all in agreement then...Damn...we do hate clowns!
C'mon Hubbers tell us what you really think of clowns. Need inspiration...just check out the close-ups on the two above.
Yikes!
i never caught the clown phobia but i grew up with Emmett Kelly and Red Skelton; benevolence, simplicity, i guess a 50's kindof humor.
growing up in Texas, the clowns i met were rodeo clowns who risked life and limb to divert an angry bull from a felled cowboy. i remember the wild clowns of the Texas Prison Rodeo. if those guys got laid up in hospital ward, it meant fewer days in the cell. those were wild rodeos.
the clowns i've met haven't done the Stephen King "It" thing nor tripped me or insulted me. i guess clown humor has evolved with the times. we used to be afraid of "The Blob" and never saw the bodies. Now it's "Saw I, II, III, IV, XIX..." and "Jason in Space" or "Freddie In Your Daughter's Room."
Ah, times, and clowns, they are a'changin'.
Ok...womanNshadows: You make valuable exception points. I hearby would like a waiver to this poem for Red Skeleton...and all rodeo clowns. Although, rodeo clowns still wear the same strange make-up expressions...they do put themselves on the line for the cowboy...so they deserve some credit. I too, have witnessed the wild clowns at the Texas Prison Rodeo in Huntsville, Texas. Now...Red Skeleton was hilarious...but I can't remember the other one you mentioned. However...Bozo receives no said waiver on this poem...he is too borderline creepy upclose...Sorry Bozo!
I agree, mpm--Red Skelton deserves a waiver--he was definitely the king of clowns!
What about Ronald McDonald--he kinda creeps me out, too....
Oh yeah, TamCor: I agree no waiver on this poem for Ronald McDonald. He may be the King of Kiddie "happy meals"...but he's as creepy as the rest of them...if he was up in your face doing something bizarre. Good point, Tamcor!
Emmett Kelly was actually before my time but i've seen films of him and Red Skelton patterned his act after Kelly's. Kelly's clown makeup was the hobo clown called "Weary Willie," a tragic figure because he worked during and after the Great Depression. His act was stuff like sweeping up the circus rings after the other performers had gone. He tried but failed to sweep up the pool of light of a spotlight. It is a charming, simple, act that has layers if you think about it. One of Kelly's more famous stunts was trying to crack a peanut with a sledgehammer. He was fey. Not meant to last.
laughing and agreeing on Bozo. i'd forgotten him. also Ronald McDonald. a little over the top for me.
My mother collects Emmett Kelly figurines--and she has them displayed in her living room...I guess I've gotten so use to him that I don't see him in the same light as the others, for some odd reason---maybe because I've always felt a little sorry for him!
I didn't realize that Red Skelton patterned himself after Emmett Kelly--that's very interesting, and maybe that's another explanation as to why I don't "fear" him, either, lol.
OK: womanNshadows and TamCor: Because of Emmett Kelly's lasting impression and originality in a world of carbon copy clowns...he is also waived off as part of the creepy clown cult mentioned in this poem! Here's a recommendation for a good topic in the future...Someone should do an article/story/hub tribute to Red and Emmett because of the lasting impression they have made.
I remember reading a Stephen King book that made me look at clowns differently for awhile...
I read that same Stephen King book. It was titled "IT" and the "monster" presented itself as a very menacing looking clown with ugly sharp teeth. But long before that I've always felt there was a sort of "creep factor" about clowns. In truth, I can't stand them, and have feared them all my life. Interestingly enough, both my daughters also have never liked clowns, and my youngest would scream and cry at the sight of one. Good Hub, by the way.
Ok...advisor4qb and Disturbia...are both in agreement: The "It" clown from Stephen King has left an "indelible" impression for life! Let's see...whacked out clown with masked expression, sharp teeth, and "It" peeks at you from down in the sewer drain...Yikes! I'm real glad I did not see the movie "It" when I was a young lad...I know I am grateful for that...for sure!
You said it, Beth100!
Well now manly, Emmit Kelly was and is still the finest of this breed, then who can forget the monster John W. Gacy? I liked clowns up until John. Nice er, rant on clowns.
i took my grandchildren to a circus, bought the tickets, and then one of them saw a clown dressed up and had some kind of panic attack he was so scared. I got my money back and brought them home...... weird,as some children love them
ralwus: That's right, my friend...I went "off" on a rant on Clowns...That's for all the times that I tolerated them at the Circus...only to have them jump right in your face...when your walking around the carnival outside eating Cotton Candy...Do I sound traumitized by it? : ) No not really...But I can still see that whacko clowns face...who practically went nose to nose with me...with his goofy smile and bizarre laugh! Ok...maybe...it was a little traumatic for a kid...back then! Anyways...it's always good to see ya'...Thanks for stoppin' in and reading my poem rantings about how "I Do Hate Clowns!" Best Regards, MPM
poetlorraine: Good for you...getting your money back! Stop the Insanity...Stop the Crazy Clowns! I don't know how some kids can love them...and then there are some parents who actually decorate their Childrens Rooms in Clowns...Stop the Isanity!
Thanks for reading this poem and for your comment. Humbly, MPM
Finally someone who understands! Clowns are not funny! My phobia also extends to anything in a costume, but mostly Santa Claus and Clowns. I don't know why I fear them, but I do. Its just not natural!
M Burger-Clowns Bad! (I don't know about Santa...though I've seen plenty of bad likenesses of him that made me ill!)
It could be easy to have a phobia over clowns...all natural expressions that we are used to observing in a one-on-one conversation...are glossed over with a plastic layer of grease paint...then to help us think everything is OK with that...they have painted upon that nauseating and unnatural expression a fake and deceitful smile...! Yuk...I Do Hate Clowns! Sincerely, MPM
Hilarious and so true! I really enjoy your style of writing. Keep up the good work.
Dear ______Commentor: Thanks for the comment and for reading this one on "I Do Hate Clowns". Glad you like my work. Please, Feel free to read on any of my other various topics...for sure! Have a good one...Humbly, MPM
Drake's Compass says:
6 months ago
Amen, Manly Poetry Man! I agree that clown humor is some of the worst humor out there. It's much like overdosing on candy bars or cotton candy...all sweet, no substance. Personally, I find the humor in action-adventure films ("Indiana Jones," "Die Hard," etc.), to be funnier because you don't expect it when it comes.
What makes it worse is that some clowns aren't really funny...