I wouldn’t exactly call it a phobia and I know that a lot of people will read this and think that it’s just me being a “bitchy queen” who is judgmental but I can’t help that, when you write a blog, you share a lot of things about yourself. You share some serious things and some silly things and depending upon how much you want to reveal of yourself you also may share your fears, hopes and dreams. This would fall under the silly category. The reason I don’t consider it a phobia is because I’m not afraid of people who wear too many rings, it just makes me cringe. I don’t trust people who wear too many rings – Don’t Get Me Started!

While there are some things that apply to both men and women (and this is certainly one of them) there are different reasons that men who wear too many rings and women who wear too many rings make me scrunch up my face in horror. Let’s start with women. I grew up in a house with a woman who had more costume jewelry than the law allows. She had the stuff her mother had given her which included rings, bracelets, brooches, etc. and then there were “the sets” you know, the matching earrings and necklace (and some of the necklaces had a removable medallion on it so that it could go from a necklace to a brooch by simply removing the chain it was on). So from an early age I knew more than most about costume jewelry, real jewelry and why Coco Chanel always said to take one accessory off before you leave your home.

When I see women who are wearing a ring (or rings) on every finger or even just on most of their fingers, there are two words that come to mind, “refugee” and “cheap” I guess it’s because in my mind, if you’re wearing this much jewelry you either had to leave your home quickly (never to return) so you put everything you own on or you just don’t have any sense and so you’re wearing everything you own because you have no taste. In most cases, the rings that people who wear too many rings wear are really cheap. They’re mostly the 10k gold variety instead of 14k (or they’re gold filled or vermeil) and they almost always have a “diamond” somewhere on them but they’re diamonds that are so small that there should be a new word for something that’s smaller than a “diamond chip”, they’re set in silver metal to make the diamond look bigger than it actually it is. Of course this doesn’t really work but for some reason, the designers of costume jewelry think it does. I remember a “fashion ring” I got when I was a kid. It was made by Pierre Cardin and I think I got it at a department store and it had one of these “diamonds” in it and I thought it was mighty fancy, I was eleven. I was wrong.  

I’ve never quite understood the whole philosophy that more is better. And I would honestly like to know what is going on in these women’s heads. I think some women are wearing their mother’s, grandmother’s and aunt’s rings or something but still ladies, remember that less is more and just because you want to wear the jewelry of your beloved relatives who have passed doesn’t mean you have to wear everything every day. And can someone explain to me why it is that women who seemingly want to draw so much attention to their hands always have the worst fingernails? Wearing enough rings to cover your bulging or perhaps hairy knuckles does not camouflage the fact that you have dry skin and not enough sense to push those cuticles back and put a decent shade of polish on the nails that isn’t all chipped up. Is it any wonder why I think this makes a woman look cheap? I mean, unless you’re conducting a séance later in the evening and trying to evoke the dead, please ladies, keep the rings to a minimum.

Now men, what the hell is wrong with you? Opera conductors and Liberace aside, the men wearing too many rings thing just started a few years ago. It all started with those damn chunky silver rings that men thought looked cool on their index fingers (they never did to me). The Celtic patterns gave way to skulls and other assorted silver nightmares immortalized in rings and tattoos. The disease spread from the index finger, choosing not the several ring suitable fingers and heading straight for the thumb. The thumb? What thumb (besides Tom Thumb) needs a ring? Trick question – no thumb needs a ring (whether you’re a man or a woman), it makes your thumb look all the more short and stubby compared to your other fingers and besides being unattractive it just seems to serve no purpose to me whatsoever. I remember when I did some directing for Virginia Opera, all the conductors and directors had oversized rings on their index fingers but I assumed this was because they were so damn dramatic and in the case of the conductors, perhaps the lights would bounce off the ring and assist the performers and orchestra alike to keep time with the music. If you’re simply walking around in everyday life boys, you don’t need all the jewelry, especially all the rings (and in Jermaine Jackson’s case, get rid of all those freaking bracelets, it’s like you’re going to break out in a belly dance at any given moment or something, very feminine looking and just tacky Jermaine). And this goes for you to Mr. fashion icon, Karl Lagerfeld – I haven’t seen the entire documentary about him but you only have to watch about the first half hour to see how many silver rings Mr. Lagerfeld has to pack when traveling, he has an entire dresser top covered in bowls of rings, trying desperately to decide which rings he’ll “need” he finally dumps about three bowls of rings into his makeup bag before scooting out to go to the airport. Ugh.

In summation, I guess I have to go back to my earlier comments about those of you out there wearing too many rings. Those of you who right now can look down at your hands and see more than say two rings should know how the rest of the world feels when they look at you. They don’t think you look “artsy” or “fashionable” ya just look tacky and stupid. There, I’ve said it and would it kill you to get a manicure? Enough. I don’t trust people who wear too many rings – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com