Banned Commercial - Sexy Girl and Beer!

http://vinovo.magnify.net/video/Banned-Commercial-Sexy-Girl-a

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♥ Garfield: Is that your face, or did your pants fall down? ♥

♥ A man was in his front yard washing his car when his blonde wife came out of the house and rushed straight to the mailbox, opened it, looked in, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

As the husband was drying his car, the wife came back out to the mailbox, opened it, felt all the way to the back, and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by his wife's actions he asked her, "What's wrong, honey?"

To which the blonde wife replied, "My stupid computer keeps saying YOU'VE GOT MAIL." ♥

♥ Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car.

♥ TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE BY GARFIELD

1. No head butts or kidney punching!

2. Regular bathing is always a plus!

3. Never bring a date home to meet your spouse!

4. Gag gift not a great idea for your anniversary.

5. Don’t blame your spouse for everything; let your family do that for you.

6. Two words: Vitoria’s Secret

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♥ This is my report on how to live….they say the best way is just to live one day at a time………if you try to live seven days at a time, the week will be over before you know it. Charles Schulz

♥ They say if you become a better person, you will have a better life. Charles Schulz

♥ Garfield: eating right is easy.

Each day I eat from the four basic food groups.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks! Charles Schulz

♥ Why do we call a burger, hamburger when there is not a bit of ham in it?

I think we should call it a handburger, since it is very handy.

♥ Why men make ugly faces while shaving?

In order to look handsome they have to practice the ritual of making ugly faces.

♥ Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Well it’s their personal choice. I have no problem with that.

♥ Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?

They do win too you just have to read the headlines regularly.

♥ Why is abbreviated such a long word?

It is not a long word you can just abbreviate it to ABBR.

♥ Why is a boxing ring a square?

They are actually squared shape.

♥ Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?

I also wonder why don't they call them Mediciner or Medicaler not Doctors.

♥ Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on Start?

That is your personal choice you do not have to click the start button to stop the windows. Just turn off the power button.

♥ Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Real lemon is very acidic & can clean the grease easily.

♥ Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Because it is used for second.

♥ Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Because everybody wants to rush to home that's why but it just slows down the traffic in the process.

♥ Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Cats like the real mouse not the mouse flavored food.

♥ Is it okay to use the AM radio afternoon?

You can use the Am Radio any time of the day you wish to.

♥ What do you call a male ladybug?

It should be Mr. Ladybug.

♥ Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Just to make sure it is not infected with HIV virus. So that the convict dies with lethal injection not by HIV.

♥ Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you cannot drink and drive?

Because you need to provide proof of age before you can get drunk & drive.

♥ Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Because it is derived from a Greek word phone.

♥ Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?

Airlines do not want people to jump out of the planes.

♥ If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?

Locks are there because just in case of emergency.

♥ If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

Freedom fighters fight for freedom.

♥ Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Apartments are not stuck together they are separated by the walls.

♥ If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Congress is suppose to make sure country is progressing. It is just a calculated guess.

♥ If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Meanings of terminal are similar but usage is not. Don’t worry flying is not terminal it’s about airport terminal.

♥ Why is the man who invests all of our money called a broker?

All the money does not belongs to them, they are just brokering other peoples money.

♥ Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

Because dictionary is part of dictionary & it cannot be separated from the dictionary.

♥ Why do they make scented toilet paper?

Scented toilet paper might reduce the odor.

♥ What color does a Smurf turn when you choke him?

I do not think you can choke a Smurf.

♥ Why is it called life insurance instead of death insurance?

However it is life insurance but it is paid only after death. It is actually life insurance for beneficiary or beneficiaries.

♥ When Styrofoam is shipped, what do they pack it in?

They pack it in the Styrofoam.

♥ Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

A fly without wings would be called a larva.

♥ Why do they call it a building after it is already built?

Because building is a permanent construction or a structure.

♥ Why do we call a pineapple a pineapple when it is neither a pine nor an apple?

Because it looks pine & may be it is an apple of a pine. Just like some one is an apple of some one's eyes.

♥ Why do we call guinea pigs guinea pigs, when they are not from Papua New Guinea nor are they pigs?

May be they have some similarities with pig.

♥ Where is the nugget on a chicken?

I guess nuggets on the chickens are invisible.

♥ Where are the wings on a buffalo?

May be once upon a time buffalos had wings.

♥ If you spin an Oriental person around and around and around, is he disoriented?

For sure he or she will be disoriented plus anyone else too.

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