Barbara and I were never the type of couple who felt they needed to buy each other expensive or elaborate presents in order to prove our affection. Regardless of the occasion we always agreed that the goal of our gift giving was to buy or make the other person something that was unique and a little bit of a surprise. While not every gift we ever gave one another was truly original or contained some type of sentimental significance a majority of our holiday and birthday exchanges left the other person brimming from ear to ear.

Barbara was the most considerate gift giver I have ever known. She knew me so well, and as result displayed a unique ability to come up with remarkably thoughtful gifts to buy or make me.  I remember one year for Hanukah she searched online and bought me the “I, Claudius” Collectible DVD Box Set because she saw how much I was enjoying my Roman History class and knew I would appreciate it.

For G-d sakes the woman went to the craft store and picked out all the materials to sew me a quilt! To this day that quilt remains one of the most wonderful presents I have ever received. That’s the level of caring, no, the amount of loving that went into the gifts she gave me.

Knowing how great it felt to receive a present from Barbara I strove to find gifts that would make her feel that same way. During our last year or two as a couple I began to really feel like I was matching Barbara’s level of thoughtfulness in the gifts I gave her. Maybe for the first time I was emotionally and physically invested in the relationship to level that I knew Barbara as well as she had always known me.

The last meaningful gift that I gave Barbara was for her birthday earlier this year. I racked my brain for weeks in advance and just couldn’t come up with any presents that were worthy. Even though her 24^th birthday was not until Saturday April 4^th we had planned to go out to dinner and see a movie the night before. Finally on the Wednesday of that week I had an epiphany and came up with a present so perfect I could see myself giving it to her before I even purchased it.

The gift idea popped into my head when I was thinking about the last trip Barbara took to visit me in Hanover the previous winter. I recalled that we sat drinking K-Cup coffee in the Dartmouth Athletic Department lounge while I excitedly thumbed through an Art book, that I had recently finished reading, showing Barbara all the paintings that I had fallen in love with as a result. Specifically I remembered a wonderful painting by Gustav Klimt titled “The Kiss” that she had expressed adoration for.

With ordering a print of this world-renown painting on the Internet out of the question, due to my time constraint, I concluded my only chance was to check the Michael’s Arts & Crafts store. Without wasting a moment I drove to the nearest Michael’s and quickly found the Klimt print, of a couple beautifully and forever locked in embrace while the setting around them dissolved into the patterned background, I was searching for.

I felt absolutely on top of the world when I saw her gorgeous face illuminated by the smile my present had given her. That feeling stayed with me for several weeks as the brightness of our relationship faded until our eventual break up. Although to this day I still smile when I think of how happy Barbara was when she received my gift I am quickly brought back down to earth when that thought is overshadowed by one dark and haunting question.

Now that I no longer have Barbara in my life will I ever find someone else I’ll know well enough to buy them a Klimt?