I Miss You
66Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
~ [Edna St Vincent Millay]
Anger
You were much older, you were my professor, you were brilliant, you were kind, you were fun to be with, you were ... my friend.
I was angry when you left me so suddenly. It was so sudden and unexpected, I didn't even get to say goodbye. I went through all your e-mails, collected all your gifts, and did many Google searches; all the while trying to patch together a likeness of you. I failed.
Why didn't you leave me anything?
No letter, no special keepsake, no last parting. Perhaps that would have been awkward, perhaps it would have resulted in hurting others, but a last goodbye would have been nice. Not leaving at all would have been better.
Dreams
I dream of you sometimes.
In my dreams you were still here, but just unavailable. Maybe you went into witness protection, maybe you were forced to stay away, but were still trying desperately to reach me.
I am always angry with you for staying away, but ultimately I am just so relieved that you are still here.
I wake up, and you are not.
Memories
Do you remember Florida, Arizona, Hawaii, England, New York?
How we laughed, how we talked, how we sang songs, and stayed silent.
I remember. I loved you. I love you still.
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Comments
LOL I came here to say I miss you too Aya, yet saw how personal this hub was and decided I better not interfere. But since Mr. Nice was so nice to break the virginity of this hub and get all the blame and praise for doing that, I thought I would join to say that yes, I missed you here :)
I feel so bad that you never at least got to say goodbye. I wish you the best. By the way awesome pictures. Did you make them yourself?
Mr Nice, your name suits you.
Misha, I am always happy to hear from you. I like your new profile picture. Yes, this is very personal. I wasn't sure if I should publish it, but I think he would have liked it and thought it was a bit funny, a bit sweet, and a bit sad.
Jim, I am saying goodbye to him now. He liked the Beatles "Hello Goodbye" song, so he would probably say hello to my goodbye.
Pictures: I made the pictures with Poser. It is not too difficult because all the models are ready made, so I can just focus on composition and framing. You can read a bit more about it in my Virtual Photography article. I think pictures help to tell the story as much as the words do, so I enjoy composing both.
Thank you Aya :) You didn't spoil us with your presense lately, so every your appearence is a gift, even when it is a bitter one like this :)
Misha, you are such a smooth talker; although I am angry with you for not including me in your hot hubber forum post! It is good to talk to you. Go write a hub about yourself and help cheer me up :)
Don't be angry with me sweet Aya - even if I have nominated you, DJ wouldn't accept the nomination, cause he is accepting only real pics. Put you real one on your profile, and I gladly will do :)
As for the hub - I might write some eventually, just for you - but it will take a while, I mean not a few minutes and not even a few hours - I am a slow writer, you know :)
Ohao Aya!
Arigato guzaimas, I appreciate for your sweet comment. I believe individual nominations of just 5 hot hubbers out of thousands was not a fair idea. Did you see my forum post about hot hubbers.
Please visit & read it's my own views about hot hubbers selection process & do leave some feedback. Kunbungwa
Last night I published a hub about my visit to Tokyo. Please visit the link & have a look.
Mr Nice, sorry for the late reply. I haven't been on too much. I really enjoyed your photos of Tokyo. Thank you very much for the link. You seem to travel a lot; that must be very interesting and fun! Which city/country do you like best so far?
Hi Aya! I was expecting you to visit my hub about Tokyo & leave your thoughts. Well I Love Bangkok & I visit often. I also have a condo in Bangkok. Now since I visited Tokyo I am really in love with Tokyo. In future I want to visit Tokyo for extended period.
Compelling. Your pictures rock! Stay cool. Sayonara!
Wonderful stuff Aya, just wonderful. I would never had done that to you without something of me being left for you at least. I love the art work that you have done also. Now soon I will do my own hub for you at your request, FBI?
What I miss most is not getting to talk to him. He was always excited about new ideas - I think he would have loved HubPages. Still, better to have loved and lost, I think.
I'm definitely looking forward to your Spy Who Loved Me hub! ;)
Mr Nice says:
10 months ago
Hajime mashetey Aya! Kimi o ai shiteru;
" Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion." ~ Mirabeau