I Quit: How to Know When It's Time to Give Up
67
The Macaroni and Cheese Parable
Here's a bit of insight into my basic character:
When I turned 19 I moved out of my parents' house against their wishes and enrolled in college. I got a job as a waitress and a room in a house shared by four other waitresses. All of us were working our way through school.
My parents wanted me to live at home until they found me a husband, which they saw as a perfectly respectable way to take care of female offspring--In fact, they saw it as the only respectable way.
My brother, a high school sports hero and a person of intense emotional problems and limited academic ability had received a full four-year football scholarship to a major university and was busy drinking and drugging himself into expulsion.
I, on the other hand, graduated third in my high school class (out of about 500), and yet my parents saw no reason to send me to college. Why waste that kind of money on a degree just so I could ultimately spend my life pumping out babies and making meatloaf for some loser they might or might not even like? Moreover, they believed that a young woman moving out of the parental home for any reason besides a good marriage brought shame and suspicion on the family.
That was not an uncommon view for working class parents to take when I was a young woman. My parents were insane, yes. But in a socially acceptable way. In those days you tried to push your boys up a class, you tried to marry off your girls to someone just like you. Don't ask me why. I'm not defending it; I'm just giving you a description of life before equal rights.
The year was 1972, and even back then working your way through college was no big treat. Male or female, it was a long haul. I was broke all the time, and one week in particular, I hit the financial wall and found myself with all of $2 for groceries for seven days. So I did what every college student from the seventies did (and probably what college students still do---I don't know); I bought five boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, which at that time were five for a dollar, and a pound of generic margarine to make them up with.
The first couple of days on the Mac & Cheese diet were not too bad. Plus, I was able to supplement it with soup from work that we were allowed to eat for free on our breaks. But by day three, I entered a zone of serious discomfort. The brilliant orange food-like substance on the plate in front of me began to look surreal and slightly menacing. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is one of those foods that seems friendly and nostalgic so long as you don't actually have to eat it---Eat it three days running with not much else and its true nature begins to reveal itself.
By the fourth day, I was really hungry, but I was having trouble getting the orange goo to go down. My intentions were good. The will was there. But somewhere about halfway down my neck the stuff would sort of just stick, and I'd have to wash it down with lots of water to complete the mission.
On the fifth day, after successfully, if not pleasurably, ingesting yet another plateful of the stuff, I walked over to the wastebasket where my body, being much wiser than my brain, rejected the abuse in no uncertain terms.
At that point, one of my roommates took me to lunch.
I haven't been able to eat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese since that day. Someday, and maybe even someday soon, I may have to try. But as long as I'm reasonably strong and well fed, never again.
Why Do You Say 'Stubborn' Like Its a Bad Thing?
I prefer to think of myself as 'determined'.
I've found that most of the things I've been able to accomplish in life were done by simply putting my head down and plowing through, disregarding all obstacles and putting one foot in front of the other no matter what until I crossed the finish line. I don't think this is a bad quality. It can work, and what's more, we've kind of lost respect for it over time. Nowadays young people (whippersnappers!) are drawn to the fast, easy buck and material comfort first and foremost--although in fairness, so are lots of older people. That's why our country is in the mess that its in.
All Hail Money, Lord and Master.
The down side to my 'determined' nature though, is that sometimes I don't allow myself to just acknowledge that something sucks.
Consider for instance the Mac & Cheese episode.
I know women my age who would not have eaten a drop of that crap. I mean they wouldn't have purchased a single box of it, much less five that they proceeded to cook and then eat until they puked. No, they'd have been on the horn to any one of a dozen people who would have happily fed them until they were on firmer financial footing, or they would have borrowed some money, or gone to a food bank, or chosen any one of an infinite number of other possible solutions to what really amounted to a temporary supply problem.
I did what I did because 1) I wanted to take care of myself and I didn't want to admit, even for a second, that I might need help, and 2) I'd been raised with the notion that I didn't deserve a whole heck of a lot to begin with. #1 and #2 are related, because it's my tendency to rebel against #2 that causes me to fall into #1 and put my head down and plow through difficulties without considering that there might be a less painful way. Sometimes 'plowing through' is the only way. But sometimes it pays to just admit defeat.
Just say, I give up. This isn't working. Uncle.
I quit.
So long as you're holding on to a single solution no matter what the cost and not even looking side to side or asking for any input, you're kind of willfully blind.
Yes, I admit it. I can be like that sometimes.
Especially when I'm scared.
Maggie's Farm: I Do Believe I've Had Enough
Those of you who are kind enough to read my hubs on a regular basis probably already know where this one is going. Yeah, it's the bank. I can't take it anymore. I packed all the stuff on my desk and took it home last night, and somewhere between today and next Wednesday I will no longer be showing up for that particular brand of abuse. Even if I wanted to keep showing up, I've been informed that I'll be canned by the end of the month unless I bring in a quarter of a million for them--something I haven't been able to do two months running now, and something they are extremely unhappy about. So I'm going to leave before then. Maybe today.
But that's not even the point.
The point is, I don't want to make the bank a quarter of a million dollars every month anymore just so they can pay me $12 and tell me I suck. I did that for a year and a half, and I've had enough--I'm about to puke the bank into the nearest wastebasket, just like that Mac & Cheese.
That's where I am with it.
Right now, I would rather work for Satan than work for that bank. I hate them and I hate everything about them. I hate their business model. I hate the way they require us to treat customers and the way customers in turn treat us. I hate the irresponsible, greedly corporate overlords who bail out of there with millions while we at the bottom pound the carpet for extra pennies for them and yet we are still are not allowed to so much as pee on the clock.
I hate my big fat ignorant boss who has never answered a phone in her life but is nevertheless in charge of evaluating a team of people who take 200 abusive phone calls a piece, each and every day. I hate the stupid grade school games and contests we are required to play to show our 'team spirit'. I hate call centers period. I've been working in call centers for seven straight years and I freakin' hate it, I can't take another minute, I'm goddamn serious.
That's a lot of hate.
What's worse, I don't even want to succeed there because most of the people who do succeed there are assholes and why on earth would I aspire to be an asshole? Seriously, it puts an employee in a weird position when the model she is supposed to strive for makes her sick to her stomach.
My boss went to Europe for most of September. When she left, the U.S. had a stable financial system and when she came back, last week, the U.S banking system was in shambles. I told her that I hold her personally responsible for that, and she gave me a Euro-Disney keychain and told me I suck, and that, by the way, if I don't make the bank more money I'm fired by the end of this month.
Fine.
I have an interview Wednesday for a job I was offered two months ago and didn't take, a job stocking magazines in local grocery stores. I did that for seven years while my kids were small, and it was nice. Magazines don't cuss at you, they don't tell you you are grotesquely inadequate as a human being in a monthly idiotic 'supervisory review' ritual, and they don't give you bad dreams. You just take them out of a box and put them in the rack at the checkout counter. It's that simple. A monkey could do it. And soon, hopefully, I will be doing it.
If not, I have my writing, which is still bringing in a decent amount of money. I can step that up. I can get my website up and learn to make ad revenue there. I can work on the garden and do planting and weeding for people when the weather breaks in the spring. I'll survive.
I just have one more thing to say, and I've saved it for last because it's the hardest thing to say in this whole article:
Aya, you were right.
Ouch.
|
Christmas In the Heart
Price: $7.98
List Price: $13.94 |
|
Together Through Life
Price: $7.88
List Price: $13.96 |
|
Highway 61 Revisited
Price: $4.41
List Price: $7.99 |
|
Together Through Life (Deluxe Edition)
Price: $11.25
List Price: $26.98 |
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
Pam,
I admire you.
If you've ever read "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, you'll understand why.
John Galt, and many other productive people withdrew their labour from a corrupt system and let it crash. I think we're heading in that direction, and I hope that the little corner of the world where I live will become a sanctuary. Like John's Valley was.
The system punishes those striving for excellence, and rewards those who cut them down.
It rewards the murky beige colour of the conformist drone, instead of the vibrant energy of those who aspire to achieve, and make things better.
I've often wondered how long you would be able to endure. And I'm glad that you have taken this decision, instead of having your course determined for you by the closure of your bank.
Let me be the first of your Hub Pages friends to congratulate you.
Don't despair. It only gets better from here.
I know.
Eric G.
A most insightful hub and a strong awareness, ,keep your hope alive.
Great Hub! I think you made the right decision! I myself have left several positions where I just knew things would not work out. Sometimes it was against the advice of others and even conventional wisdom, but I've never regretted my decisions. Good luck in whatever you do next!
I'm so sorry that your job sucks to that degree, but props to you for knowing when to say enough and getting the hell out. I'm pretty new to hubpages, but from reading your hubs, I can tell you're a survivor, and this is merely another bump in the road for you.
Great hub.
Long overdue Pam. I jacked a job once, after a run-in with the boss. It was six weeks before Christmas, and I was already in arrears with the mortgage because things were not panning out for me at that time. I was out of work for a fortnight living on vegetable stew, then a friend rang me out of the blue to ask me to help him set up a retail business in Brighton (he was a jewellry wholesaler), and my life just took a completely new and better direction from then on.
Don't look back. Just keep going forward. With your many talents things will come up aces any time soon!
Pam,
My sincere congratulations on your decision!
I know how it feels, I am the same kind of person who sticks to something that others dumped long ago. In a hope it will improve. I know how hard it was to make this decision.
You are free now, and I am happy for you! :)
Wow, huge decision there. Sounds like you're more than ready for it. You write so well, you really should "step up" the writing gig and become a full-time freelance writer, IMHO.
Great hub! Chuck that job in the same trashcan you used to chuck the mac & cheese. (For me, it was tuna casserole and a PR job where everyone was too busy to train me.) Good luck...
Wow! I had to get out of consumer finance after thirty years because they wouldn't allow me to treat people as anything but numbers and potential profit. I now drive people in wheelchairs to doctors' appointments. I make about half the money, but it is so worth it to come home knowing I helped people.
Here's to you getting that job stocking magazines!
I truly enjoyed reading this Hub. I appreciate and admire your candor, but most of all your guts at standing up for yourself and doing what YOU want to do. There's no shame in that. Best wishes to you on the other job. I hope you get it and love it! :)
Glad you quit. You know enough is enough when you are irritated before you even get to the job. Good luck in your new endeavors. Great hub and thumbs up.
Pam- You are truely a woman of substance! Great HUB. Marina
PGrundy, Good for you!
You are an inspiration! Soon those shelves will be stocked with your own articles. Way to go!
Good luck, you made the right decision and I too have walked out of jobs in the past for similar reasons, and something always turned up almost immediately. I am sure it will for you too, and definitely keep on with the writing :)
Pam,
Wow!
I'm glad you are taking steps to taking a job that won't make you ill, in the long run. There are lots of things to do out there that don't cause such unhealthy stress, including the job you mentioned.
I'm not quite clear why one of the most intelligent and educated people I've met in a long time, is considering a job stocking magizines, however. As a stepping stone more worthy of you talents; fine. We all need to eat and make the mortgage payment. And, it's no secret that this isn't the hottest time in the job market. However, for the longrun, I'll bet you will find some career move that will more appropriately make use of your talents.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll come out just fine...and without ulcers or a breakdown!!!
Madison
Finally! Am sure it was no secret to yourself that this was the inevitable outcome and know from personal experience this is just a new door opening, one that will give you a lot of insights when you look back on the why of it all. Just part of the journey, in my opinion. Personally, can't wait to see the outcome of this new direction. There are a million and one ways to make money without selling your soul and have a good time at the same time. Hope this means at the very least you'll be writing more hubs for all of us to enjoy and applaud.
Pam: Good for you. You have too much writing and intellectual capacity to answer phones anyway.
BTW: If you're interested in a potential money making bonanza (as a writer), let me know. It's not a get rich quick scheme. It will take a lot of work. It will cost you upfront money. But I feel the potential to earn bunches is there.
I'm still reading the business model and will give it a go myself later this month.
Like you, my current job is a no-where train to.... nowhere!
Keep your chin up. You'll do fine. Sometimes certain roads need to end to start walking another!
Woohoo! I was hoping that was what the title meant... I enjoyed the Mac and Cheese part, but I was a little worried that this was just going to be a hub about "quitting" Kraft products. ;)
I am so happy for you, so proud of you, and so inspired by your decision. I think you're a brilliant and insightful person with exceptional writing abilities, and you'll be successful at whatever venture(s) you choose.
Best of luck to you and congratulations! I hope life is on the up and up for you from this point forward.
Wow!
I've been asleep. I have a horrible toothache. Hardly slept last night and was up at 3 AM writing this--then I logged on just now and here are all these nice comments!
Thank you so much for all your kind and supportive words everyone. I know I took way too long to get to this point. It was a really hard decision. My 'review' did it--The 'you suck' thing again. I was so not into that ritual. I really dont suck. The job sucks. The bank sucks. Look at the banks right now--what a mess. And I can totally see why. Even the janitors are supposed to pound money out of people--and for what? So fat cats can have seven houses.
I don't know what will happen next, but I think a lot of people in the U.S. are in that place right now--so it's hardly unique to me.
Thank you again for all your support and kind words.
Good for you Pam. I'm getting pressure to apply for a soul sucking job I don't want and probably wouldn't get anyway. It's one of those where you have to have an incredibly detailed application, and it has to be their forms. Bleah. I can't do a half assed job of it because I know a priori that that would be futile, and I'm not one to go through motions or do anything that I already know won't work.
hi pgrundy...if i could write like you...i'd hop on one of those slow ocean crossing ships and relax...hell, just sell the cat...one of your many fans...pylos26
Hi hot dorkage--Don't do it! Sabotage yourself on the personality test--it's easy to do. Just say you love to steal things and you think it's a good thing. Wait---that could get you hired! Doh!
Hi pylos26! What a nice thing to say, thank you! If there was anywhere to cruise to, I think we'd all be getting on the boat about now!
What? Are you crazy, woman? Don't you know your personal happiness doesn't amount to crap? We're born...we work...we die! Period! Of all the selfish...and here I thought you were intelligent. What are you gonna do! Write more???? Oh, yes, your little writing thing. Grow up already! Go crawling back to your boss and kiss her ass. Maybe she'll give you your job back...at reduced pay, of course.
You, know, I had to say something different. You'll be happy and successful. I've never been as sure of anything in my life. You still rock!
Christophe! I LOVE the Avatar! Is Shadesbreath's avatar melded with yours now too? Wow... this is big, this is really big.
Hey thanks for playing Devil's Advocate--those are the voices that have been playing in my head for six months now, and last night I screamed, "Shut up!!"
Feel so much better now. Thanks!
Pam, great hub and congrats on getting out of the hellhole! I've had my share of crappy jobs, and every time I've walked away I've always felt the same: relieved and a little pissed that I didn't do it earlier. If there was a donation button on here for $13.95, I'd buy you a DVD of "Office Space" on me :)
Take care, and enjoy the new job. Being happy is far more important than any of the crap it sounds like this current job punishes you with.
Congratulations! Yes, indeed -- leave the horrible job behind and write more!
Some of your descriptions -- of the grade school games, absurd "gifts" etc reminded me so much of my job at Macy's a few years ago. So strange and toxic. You will feel increasingly better as all of that demeaning nonsense gets out of your system.
As someone who was laid off a month ago (from waiting tables, the work that has been my financial mainstay for living my quasi-rural close-to-the-coast dream, I could relate a great deal to this hub.
I started hubbing as a way of keeping some focus while unemployed -- and I'm selling some of my books on Amazon, and various items to local antique dealers and vintage shops to keep some cash flow -- it feels good to have some income, however meager. The job search process itself is a continual reminder to assess my values and consider what I'm willing to do for a living. Best wishes with the magazine gig and other things which will come through for you! Anyone with your mind and skills deserves appreciative venues for making your money! Trent
Pam: My eyes got wet, sniff! I can SO emphasize with you girlfriend. I quit my corporate job 15 years ago, left a great salary, benefits, and had nothing lined up, have a hearing problem which made it hard for me to find employment, that not even being profiled (article which you read by private email) in the "New York Times", helped to acquire another job. The first few years were very hard for me, but I do not regret my decision for one minute! I left a world that was no longer in alignment with me, mantained my health and integrity. What you have done is a choice of COURAGE and FREEDOM.
Congratulations!
Hi Jerry! Thank you for your supportive words! I LOVE Office Space! That movie is awesome. Now at least I won't have to live it.
Hikeguy, we are in for tough times, but at least there is some rough justice in it--many rich people who messed up the economy will fall farther than we ever can. I'm glad you found Hubpages--hang in there and thank you posting!
VioletSun, thank you. It's been quite a journey, I'll tell you that. Don't know what is coming next, but all I can say today is HALLELUJAH! Yahoo!
Your hub touched me Pam. I'm identifying big time with you because your words are so familiar. Thank you. :)
I can remember at 18, after 1 year of college, deciding I wanted to live in the 'real world' -- all on my own. After what seemed like an eternity of working double shifts just so I could feast on beanie weanies, I went crawling back to college begging for another chance. I was too weak and bloated with gas to run back. ;)
I'm also with you about the bank job and finally packing it in. Good luck! Hey, can I have the Euro-Disney keychain? lol, jk ;)
Hi Pam!
When I saw your comment, I did a double take. My name used to BE Pam Roberson. So I was like, whoa--Is this my former self commenting on my present self? Am I in a feedback loop of some kind???? It was so weird to see the comment but now that I see that you actually are not me I feel a little calmer.
My ex-husband's last name was Roberson and I took my maiden Grundy name back after the divorce.
Yes college on $1 a day is really tough--Glad you are in a better place now. And yes--you can totally have my Euro-Disney keychain!
Oh my word Pam! LOL! I'll bet that was weird seeing your 'old' name posting a comment. :D Gosh, how often could that possibly happen?
My current husband's name is Roberson, and I don't plan on keeping it for the rest of my life. It causes too many problems when you have to constantly spell it out at least 3 times for everyone in the world who needs to record it for one reason or another. Is that RobINson? RoberTson? Then they still get it wrong. Always sticking those T's where they don't belong. UGH.
Anyway, it's so nice to meet another Pam Roberson...even if you aren't anymore. Thanks for the keychain! ;)
Love this post! The real irony is that we can all tell, from reading your posts, that you have a completely informed and rational grasp of our financial mess and of the sad nature of the beast you had to deal with daily at that abominable job.....yet they hired a sociopath to run the show. Talk about the Peter Principle.
As you know, I am a Realtor, and though I was ticking along just fine with clients and customers right up until the day we heard the number 700,000,000,000, at that point everyone just froze in place. You could cut the tension in our local air with a knife. Things are not looking good for me and mine. Oh well.
I'm no stranger to the rain, and in the past I have fretted and stewed to the point panic attacks when things went sideways. No more. I resolve to be happy and to finally give more than lip service to taking it a day at a time. It's working. To help me realize that resolution I too recently shook off an affilitation with an entirely negative boss who'd been sucking my blood and my pocketbook for years. It felt so good I kick myself for not doing it sooner.
I think the coming hard times will be less difficult for people like us, Pam. We've struggled before and have the advantage of knowing we will survive. We also know that fear and worry are not conducive to happiness.
So best of luck to you, I know you will keep us posted. I envy your new job.....one that you can leave behind when you're done for the day.
P.S. Can I recommend a great book for you? Considering your background you will enjoy and relate to Sara Paretsky's "Writing in an Age of Silence". It's a short memoir.... here is a review:
Hey Pam Roberson, that was indeed strange, but I'm glad you're here! And you are most welcome for the keychain.
Mary, I can imagine how intense this year must have been for you, but I agree, when you're in the eye of the storm and have been on more than one occasion the prophets of doom don't hold the same power anymore. In some strange way I'm looking forward to whatever mess is on the way. What came before was so dysfunctional and even evil that I can't help but think it HAS to be an improvement, even if its hard for awhile.
I think the world of finance has gotten so out-of-control greedy and so separated from the customer that it's barely recognizable as legitimate business now, and that's a big part of why everything is falling apart.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments--and yes, I will definitely read Sara Paretsky's memoir. It sounds great. Thanks!
F- the bastards! You're making the right move. Like you now, and like Para said up top, I've chucked two jobs 'cause I couldn't take the unmitigated wrongness of it all too. Twenty plus years in automotive is enough to make anyone want to puke into a trash can too. I'm glad you're free. You'll enjoy stocking magazines I bet, and you'll have fun chatting with store managers and cashiers.
(Oh, and I bought something off one of your amazon things in one of your hubs a couple days back. So you will have some money to tide you over now. LOL :)
Nice hub. Very interesting. You decission was good.
Thanks Shadesbreath & Sarah.
Shadesbreath, it's really helpful to hear that so many people I admire (such as yourself) have quit jobs they hated just because they couldn't stand it for one more day. It really helps with the guilt.
Good on You.
Thanks Benson!
Pam, most of us have been there, at one time or another (My wife quit her job under similar circumstances, as recently as 4 days ago).The difference is that many people do not possess your courage. I believe you are going to be just fine.
Re: the mac and cheese scenario. My wife and I once survived a month on a ten pound box of spaghetti from the local warehouse club. At the time, I made just enough money, to augment the dried pasta with tomato soup, and ketchup packets that were liberated from a Burger King. 20 years later I can tolerate spaghetti, but I won't touch tomato soup, and I prefer mustard on my fries. Here's to good times, eh?
Hi Pam,
Please call me Pam too. :) And please keep us posted on how all of this progresses for you.
Take care
Hi rmr & Pam!
OMG rmr that is even more impressive than the Mac & Cheese story! You know, I've watched jobs dry up in this country over the past 15 years or so. At my last call center job (the one before the bank) I saw it---when I started in 2001 there were mostly young women working there--first jobs, decent pay, no opportunities for advancement but hey you have to start somewhere. By the time I took the bank job in 2007 the place was hiring middleaged men with degrees and lifetimes of experience and middleaged women with advanced degrees--why? Nothing else to do! I got to the bank and it was clear they were no better, but there was a chance to bail off the phones in only a year, so I bit the bullet, but then in November before my year was up they got in all this subprime trouble--now it's a 50/50 chance day to day whether they will even survive as a bank and of course now there are no jobs there except the call center jobs--I took a 50% pay cut for nothing.
Well--not for nothing. It got Bill & me up here to Michigan and it got us our acre of land in a quiet place. We will be getting married now to get me health insurance, and I'll have to make money some other way---and I will too. So in the long run, it might be a good thing--the bank is my "good enemy" I guess. Thanks for your comments.
Pam--it is beyond cool meeting my double here. Clearly that was meant to be! Here's to writing success for both of us!
I worked in a call center as an additional summer job one year and swore I would never do so again and haven't. Wishing you every success in your new job, but your writing could make you a living imo. Perhaps a book about your experiences with the bank in the style of Fast Food Nation or Nickel And Dimed.
Patti, thank you, that means a lot coming from you. I read both Fast Food Nation and Nickel And Dimed and loved them both for different reasons. Thank you for the suggestion--it's a good idea and I think a book like that could be funny and helpful to others at the same time. Thank you again for the encouragement. I think I will take you up on your suggestion.
Your hub was so touching and inspiring to me. I sent the link to a couple of friends who are in a similar situation. In my experience, the relief I felt from leaving a toxic job, far outweighed the uncertainty of what was next. I admire your experience and your attitude. Thank you for sharing.
pgrundy - I will be so happy to purchase one of the first copies. You will help many many people with such a book and also give a laugh. Splendid!
I'm joining your fanclub, if I haven't already. Many thumbs up. :)
Pam, as you see from the comments, you are not alone. I, too, have done my share (more than once or twice or thrice) of walking away from deceit, discrimination, abuse, and harrassment in the corporate world, including putting my successful consulting business to rest because I wouldn't, couldn't, and refused to kiss big-time corporate *ss.
The first feeling that overwhelmed me when I walked away from these abusive situations was relief. The next, was an absolute belief, although admittedly tinged with more than a little panic about where the next bank deposit was going to come from, that good things were to come, despite the discomforts of lack of income and stigmatism and guilt and you name it. But if I don't have my integrity, then what do I have?
Only you own what you know and what you can do. No one else does. My mother always says, so long as you are very good at what you do, you will never want. She is right.
Now, about M&C...I have never OD'd on it by itself, but through tough times, one of my favorite, favorite meals (favorite because a wonderful friend in hard times introduced me to it) was this: a box of Kraft, a small can of mushrooms, a can of tuna (drained), and a small can of baby peas. To this day, this concoction...so bad for you, but I don't care...is my ultimate cheap comfort food.
You rock, lady.
Thanks Bizzymuse! I'm glad it was helpful--thank you for being so encouraging.
Patty, thanks again! I'll be looking forward to that day too.
Sally's Trove, I've done that too, believe it or not--almost the exact same thing, except I never used mushrooms and peas both, but now that you mention it that sounds good... I love macaroni. It's just the fakey cheese stuff I don't like. Now I need noodles...
Everyone in my family has always been expected to go to college and never regretted it. I think it also depends on what part of the country where people grow up, and the emphasis a family places on equality for all children. My dad, my aunts, and my uncle all to high school and graduated in the late sixties and early seventies, but everyone was expected to go to college. My aunts actually did better in college and have been more successful in their careers than my dad and uncle.
Hi Sweetie Pie! Sounds like you have a great family--at least one with a sane outlook on education! Thank you for commenting (O:
Pam - I resonate with your writing and where you are at. Anyone who is inspired by Bob Dylan is on the right track. As Bob sang many years ago, 'the times they are a changin'. Too right Bob!
We in the West have taken capitalism too far. Love of cash has become a curse. Many of us are enslaved by big corporations and banks. You are a wise rat leaving a sinking ship. Swim for the shore and find an island where you can write, build, create and write some more. Come to think of it Times they are a changin' would be a great anthem for Obama!
Go Pam. Just jump. I did - 10 years ago I left a career that was 17 years long. I liked it until I was in about the 14th year and endured it because I didn't know I had an alternative. I ranted and raved for awhile, my health was progressively deteriorating as well. I soldiered on. I hung on with fingernails because I was scared of not having a job. Took me 18 months to actually do it. But I did and I don't regret it at all. Take a deep breath............and fly.
Hi Rik & Jewels,
Thank you for your encouraging comments! My health has also been deteriorating this year, which is one of the straws that broke the camel's back. Most of the health problems I've been having can be traced to the stress at work--so I was keeping the job to keep the health insurance to pay for the illnesses and problems caused by...um, the job. Thanks for your support!
Hello! What a lot of comments you've received!!! Just a question, (admitting I didn't read all the comments and you may have addressed this already) , and I ask because I'm a wee bit (understatement) financially stressed myself right now....if the bank lets you go, you not quitting....don't you receive unemployment? If you quit, doesn't that negate unemployment? BUT, happy for you that you've got the magazine stacking gig. At our age,,,,our bodies/systems really suffer (can you say CANCER!?) when we find ourselves burdened, stressed, hopeless...so for your sake...glad you're out of the bank thing. AND, the way things going these last 3 days since you wrote this column....is the bank even an entity any more? MY BEST TO YOU!
Hi Desert Blondie!
The unemployment thing goes like this in MI--if they fire you for cause, you can still end up not getting it--it all depends if they contest it or not, which I'm told they always do. If I were able to get unemployment I'd have to wait a month after they fire me to file for it, then hope they don't contest my claim.
I have enough writing work to at least keep me above water, and then I think I will get the magazine thing. They keep stringing out my firing--now I'm on another 30 day 'or else' notice for essentially no particularly good reason. Like I said, out of 25 people I started with, there are three of us left after a year and a half.
I'm not waiting for them to fire me. I was beyond sick of this job six months ago. But I know what you mean--conventional wisdom would say get yourself fired for the unemployment, but in fact, they can screw us out of it anyway. So I'm outta there. Thank you for your comments!
Rhyme and Reason will win the day pgrundy. I had people falling like flies around me for the last few years of my 'career'. One guy had an aneurysm but was still walking around with it and carrying on regardless, another had a heart attack. My immediate colleague who worked in the office next to mine - I sat and listed to a customer rip through him like there was no tomorrow. It was the icing on the cake for him and he took a package for stress. I had 3 years until I earned an extra $20,000 bonus on my retirement fund (20 years service). And I just couldn't do it. My sanity was worth more.
A year after I left, I found out the manager I reported directly to had a mental breakdown and was retired.
So I think I did the right thing by getting out. And life's too darn short to be enduring all this crap, right?
Hi Jewels,
The girl who sat next to me was working with internal bleeding because she was out of sick days, and the girl behind her regularly came in sick. People are so proud of working sick but I find it disturbing and dysfunctional.
I'm glad you are in a better place now. Something is wrong with the way work is set up in the country I think. If someone is ill, they should be home, period. It shouldn't be like, well, you already exceeded your illness allottment so you have to come and infect everyone else or hemorrhage on your keyboard. That is just so messed up. Thank you for your thoughts, as always!
Great hub, It's sad that alot of us have an idea of our dream job but end up working somewhere that we hate just to survive.
Pam,
The bank you are working for is definitely in some significant trouble and they are expecting ridiculous things from people like yourself and you are doing the right thing to move on. Who knows how long they will be around anyways with the run on banks right now.
I second the thoughts of the others who have said that with your writing abilities you could earn quite a lot through writing. I wish you lots of luck in finding a great opportunity to showcase your talents!
Aaron
Hi moefry and Aaron. Thank you for the encouragement.
Aaron, I just don't think I'm cut out for it. The service part I can do, but the sales I don't feel good about. Geez about half of the people who call I feel like I should advise them to go to cash and money orders because they pay thousands in fees and on retail job incomes or dishwashing. Plus, I do think the sales requirement is ridiculous--the goals go up and up and mostly we talk to overdrawn people.
But I think you are right. I don't think they'll be around by Christmas anyway. I guess we'll find out. Thank you for your thoughts!
Hi Pam, I have a friend who is a bank manager here in the UK and up until recently the more people he got into debt, the more highly he was thought of. I wonder if the banks have changed their tune lately? I must remeber to ask him next time I see him!
Hi Amanda,
Yes that is how it was at our bank, but now it's really hard to get a loan of any kind because of the credit crunch. I think things will get a lot worse before they get better--we'll probably see a stock market rally today, but credit is still completely frozen. You can't run an economy on nothing but credit and housing--the next President will have his hands full I'm afraid. Thanks for your thoughts!
Pam, you have backbone, integrity and superior talent. Is it any wonder your current job situation is suffocating, to say the least? I think not. Your body, spirit and mind have gotten together to let you know this, in no uncertain terms. Enough's enough. Let your keen intuition guide you, you'll be amazed at where you find yourself. I can't wait to hear about your future adventures, they are sure to be successful, much more fulfilling and contagiously happy. :)
Thank you summer10! I hope you are right. I'm pretty scared, but I do have the interview Wednesday for the magazine company and I have writing work lined up for this week that is equivalent to my old salary. So I'll stay on and keep my fingers crossed. Thank you for your kind comments.
I didn't expect to see Macaroni and Cheese when I clicked on this Hub :) It's a shame that you don't like it anymore... that's almost all I need to hear when reading about when to quit! It's true that a lot of people are so mean and successful that it motivates you to be... less successful :S
Hi glassvisage. I guess it does really just come down to the fact that I don't like it anymore. I just don't. If you do something all day that you hate it comes across and it gets very hard to be good at it.
Thats really insightful. We all live not independently, not dependently, but interdependently.
Look at all these comments! Based on your response to mine, 33 hours ago, you were hired with 25 others and THREE have made it to this moment with you !?!?!? Lordy Lordy! That bank needs to look to the Lord or just admit they were bonkers in the first place !!! So glad you are OUT of there ... unemmployment or not ... Happy for you for making the decision .... will keep positive thoughts that your life continues on a positive path ... with the moment's economy,just paying the current's week's bills is an accomplishment of which to be proud!!! Keep on keepin' on ... as they once said (so far back ... in the early 70s) !!!
Congratulations! Long overdue, as I've been following your trials and errors with your job. Hopefully, you can enjoy a cup of noodles instead of Mac and Cheese to celebrate. :) Best of luck with your interview and I'll be thinking of you!
Okay, Stephhicks has her heart in the right place...but forget about enjoying a cup of noodles instead of Mac And Cheese...I'd say go for enjoying a glass of wine...or Jack Daniels! It's October, Harvest Moon, new fresh season in the air...new fresh start for your life, new bold step for your own well-being...fully appreciate the boldness and self-love, self-respect, self-dignity of your actions...and sit back with something really savory at hand ... even if just for a restful, satisfying moment before you return to paying bills and being 'adult.' CHEERS!
Hi there. Just wanted to interject here the term "Positive Quitting". There is such a thing. Can't remember which book I read it in to give proper credit for the term though. Maybe someone here will recognize it and give due credit.
The gist of it is, when there comes a point when what you are doing no longer serves you well, in order to move forward in your life or career, you must quit whatever (or whomever) it is that holds you back. In this light, quitting is a positive thing, not something to be worried about (easier said than done). Change is difficult but it is the basis of life and always inevitable. Embrace it and use to your advantage.
Here's to your new beginnings and bright future! Best of luck...
HI Pam.
This is actually the first if your blogs I've read, but I can already tell I would have liked to be along for the journey with you on the ones that got you to this point. In a way, I was right there with you...we just didn't know that. I actually quit my job (without having another to go to) nearly 3 months ago. It's been a relief to not have to get up each day and head off to Bank of Satan - termed as such by a customer in a complaint letter I read. If only that woman knew how correct she was...
Anyway, congrats on finally knowing when it's time to throw in the towel. Took me 8 years of abuse and I can honestly say it was never worth it.
Hi Susie,
I can relate to that idea--'positive quitting.' After my divorce I hired myself a therapist because I was 1) massively depressed and 2) I never wanted to be in that kind of bad relationship situation again. She said that the secret to a good relationship is to just keep saying no to all the bad ones. I have a wonderful man now and we are very happy, but all during this bank job I kept thinking of her--about how this job was literally sucking the life out of me and unless I said no to this bad job no good one could show up. Thank you for your comments, I appreciate your perspective.
Jen,
This bank job is one of the worst jobs I've ever had. For some people it's actually a good job I guess, but for me, the only reason for taking it was the hope of getting out of it after a year, and once that became an impossibility (due to the lay offs of 20,000 people and the jettisoned loan departments) and I was facing the rest of my life in a call center that paid worse and treated me worse than the last call center, I really lost it.
I can't work in a call center again. I can't. I'll muck horse stalls first, wipe butts, I don't care, sell pencils out of a cup, anything else but that. I've really learned more than I want to know about banking in general at this point and wish I could wash my brain out with soap--I feel contaminated or something.
You were very strong to last eight years. I was in call centers seven years but only the last two at this evil bank. The First Bank of Satan--I think most of them are.
Thank you for sharing your own experience and your support!
PG So you have finally stepped off the ship of fools. You can only go forward from here. banking is definitely not where you want to be right now. Your writing is good and I still believe you should try for a copywriting gig. But stacking books is fine for now. Rote work so that you can clear your brain of clutter and do some constructive thinking about where to now.
congratulations on taking this bold step forward. Remember as one door closes so another opens. this truly happens.
Great hub in that you can express your emotions so adequately.
Thanks sixtyorso! I'm looking forward to rote work--something mindless that doesn't talk back. Thank you for your kind words and support! The day I sign on for more call center work will be the day I've been consigned to hell.
I say - Follow your heart! I think it's important to do what puts you "in a state of JOY" (or ENJOY life!)
Denise Webbing It Up
I agree 100% with everything you said- make the break and give up. I worked my way through college to get out of the restaurant business and got myself into Human Resources. I'm not in either field anymore and I am still wondering which one was more of a joke. What is it with places that require you to wear a perma grin and then treat you like crap behind the scenes?
FYI: Managers and bosses are usually in their positions because they're not good at anything else in the company and they have a knack for kissing ass, which doesn't usually get them fired, therefore they're promoted.
L
Hi Denise & izetti!
Thank you for your supportive comments. I appreciate that a lot.
This cracked me up:
"What is it with places that require you to wear a perma grin and then treat you like crap behind the scenes"
Exactly! My last two jobs were exactly like that: Act happy while we abuse you. It's so bizarre. I think it's a corporate management thing but I hate it mucho mucho.
I did get the part-time merchandising position I wanted. The interview went great, the guy who will be my boss is great, and I'll work on my own most of the time at my own pace and hours that are fairly flexible. Meanwhile, I just heard back about a book deal I've been trying to get--it looks like I may actually get this thing--and I have a couple of other paid writing projects lined up.
What a relief!
Would you believe my supervisor called my boyfriend for three days running? Not me, my boyfriend! He drives a truck so he just got her messages and never returned them. How inappropriate is that? Is she nuts or what?
I know how you feel. A few weeks ago, I also left my job. The last day was hard, but now that I am out, I never want to work in a daycare again. After being with small children all day, I was so tired and grouchy that I didn't want to spend time with my 3 kids at home. We are all a lot happier now. I am exploring my options, including writing, which is something I had not had time for. Good luck!
Thank you jambet! Good luck to you on the writing. Jobs are scarce right now, but I think if you are truly miserable in a job it makes sense to admit it and move on--easy for me to say NOW, but while I was hanging onto it I was terrified.
I got hired yesterday for a merchandising job that starts the end of this month--same pay, same hours, minimal stress and no sales goals. The guy who hired me was really happy to hire me, and I was so glad to get the job--I put things on shelves. That's my job. Little to no supervision, flexible hours, no enraged customers. I did that kind of work for seven years when my kids were little and I loved it.
So it all worked out, and I feel 1000% better. Hub Pages is a great place to hang out while you are building up an online portfolio of written material. Good to see you here.
Great hub. I have to say, I've never had to experience what you have. I've been extremely fortunate to work for myself right at home for the past 17 years. I wouldn't even know where to begin, if I had to go get a job. I'm so out of tune with that. I know how lucky I am. I hope your writing is enough to make a living for you, so you too can work at home.
Best of luck to you.
Michelle
Thank you Michelle! Good for you! If I could only work at home, I sure would. Maybe eventually I'll get there. For now, I'm just so happy to be out of there. Thank you for your thoughts!
Way to go Pam! I did a similar thing at what was supposed to be the peak of my journalistic career and people thought I was nuts! But there comes a time when you just have to quit...and though I had nothing waiting for me when I made that grand gesture I have never regretted it.
Thanks feline prophet! I feel so much better I abolutely know it was the right decision. Work is such an important part of our lives. I think at minimum we all deserve to do work that matters to us and that we feel good about. When those two requirements disappear, it's time to go.
I turned around my department and made it possible for the company to make 100,000 dollars a month,only to be replaced by someone because they was younger than me(I'm 38)so I know how you feel.I wish you the best of luck,and hope that you prosper,If you can make a 250000 for some else,You can make it for yourself.GOOD LUCK
Thanks bill! I had a similar thought. Glad you got out of there and I wish you all the best. Sounds like you were lucky, really. Who wants to work for a place like that?
Congrats Pam on getting a no stress merchandising job and on the book deal! I truly believe when things start flowing its because we are on the right track. And your ex-supervisor called your boyfriend? Not very appropriate.
Thanks VioletSun! I feel like I'm finally on the right track after a very long very torturous decision-making process. Thank your for your supportive words. I really appreciate that.
Hi Pam,
Congrats on your low-stress job. Your tremendous popularity on HP and loyal following is because your writing is honest, compelling, and we can all relate to it on some emotional level. I'm glad that your HP fans have helped you through a difficult transition. I know I'm not the only person who is looking forward to seeing your writing success increase. Your writing style is sure to get you noticed. :)
Thanks wannabewestern! That means a lot coming from you. I admire your talent and expertise and appreciate the kind words. Thank you for taking the time to write them!
Congrats Pam, you can be a model for the rest of us. You made the right choice!
Thanks Starscream14. So far so good. I think how the U.S. fares in the years to come depends a lot on whether people here can find meaningful work at a living wage again. Clearly we will have to figure this out on our own, since it seems most large corporations are bent on sucking all the money to the top and managing the people who work at the bottom in an exploitive, abusive fashion. I only wish I'd left sooner. Thanks for your comment!
hi you!\
good
this was such a nice article! good job!
I just signed up today and yours was the first hub I read....excellent first read!!! Good luck to you.
I was at a job for 5 and a half years and when I got laid off I thought my life/career was over as well....but at the time you don't see what doors you have in front of you that have yet to be opened and what opportunities you have ahead of you. Here's to your success!!! :)
Nicole
Hi, PG:
Wow... Seems like so many people are going through this job scenario thing. :) I really appreciated your story about college and the mac & cheese. I was there, literally, and couldn't eat mac & cheese for years afterwards. I was also there when I had to survive on boxes of lasagna noodles for two weeks in my first job (as a Vista Volunteer at a refugee service center) right after college.
I've had so many jobs and quit so many jobs under duress for the same reasons. It just happened again--but I'm proud of myself--I actually stood up to those unethical bosses from Satan and saw my way through to understand it's the economy, stupid... When I was younger, and had my big dream job at the Village Voice in New York, I was fired right after 9/11--took it personally. Wrenching stress, probably responsible in part for the loss of a marriage, much anxiety. But--no more. I quit this current one with both eyes open--and the chance at a better job as a copywriter working with a woman who was my sales partner at this last job--now moved on to a marketing manager position. She knows the score, and was always a great person to work with. I say 'chance.' I just have faith it will all work out...
I want you to know that you are something of an inspiration to me. I am the author of 3 books--but am just figuring out this internet writing thing--your posts have been helpful. And absolutely--no human being with all the important qualities intact making them a human being should have to go through the crap that goes on in some of these companies. It's soul crunching. Anybody who did what we did to put ourselves through school just isn't the kind to kiss butt just for a buck.
Good luck to you--sounds like you are gonna be fine. Long live the spirit--put it in your writing.
Hi Isoren,
Good for you on getting out of a hellish job. I got a Fed Ex letter yesterday from my boss telling me I'm fire. LOL! I haven't been there in a week and a half and haven't returned any of her calls--I think, seriously, she could've sent that by regular mail.
What a hole. I'll muck out horse stalls before I work in another call center. If ever an industry was crying out for organization its that one, but I've looked and there doesn't seem to be a union that applies. Not like you'd get anywhere organizing any business in this climate. But seriously, so many jobs have abusive management practices now. I'm glad you got out too.
It's possible to earn a modest living writing for the web. It's not easy, but it can be done. It's just that trick of growing a thick skin, looking for work constantly, and writing some stuff now and then that isn't exactly "War and Peace."
Good luck to you! And congrats on the books! I hope you find another publisher soon.
(Hey, why don't you join HubPages? It's fun here. Really!)
Hi, PG:
Yep, I decided I'd join up. I'm thinking of some articles, etc., today, and following your advice on promos. (I have answered some freelance job requests in the past, but heard nothing from any of them.)And, yes! Call centers. They are THE worst--I worked for one myself in Iowa City, and it was just terrible. I said the same thing about unionizing--the fact they wouldn't let the diabetics use the bathroom--numerous, numerous things. I quit that one after I couldn't take it anymore & lived off the proceeds from my books for a while.I hate phones--no more phones of any sort. I was a graphic designer at my last position (I'm an artist, too). And this is for real--my boss there decided, brilliantly, that (in an effort to save money? Because she is as dumb as a rock?) that I should not only do graphic design, but take classified ads for 2 other publications and wait on front desk traffic WHILE I did graphic design. I had 2 computers, 2 desks, 2 phones to answer. It was swell! ...I offered that she cut my pay. I offered to work part time--as a DESIGNER. I sent her a proposal on how to restructure the jobs that would not only save money, but offer flexibility to management. Needless to say, NO GO!
I never, ever, ever want to be in management, because that must mean I would be missing some vitally important part of my brain. I also think they get off on their power tripping-- Hence, their stupid actions, like sending certified mail long after the fact. The witch at the Village Voice actually told me, and I quote, "We can do anything we want." Anyway! Yes, if I could find another book publisher, I'd be happy! Long dry spell. And I'm cool to try 'a modest living' getting my feet wet on the net. :) It's good to hear the echoing experiences of another writer/creative type.
That's great Isoren, you'll have fun here at HubPages, even if you don't get rich immediately. I just made my first Google ad revenue payout after only 10 months. lol! I won't spend it all in one place either!
I'm 55, and I think that is part of my problem, but its unsolvable. I mean, I'll only get older, not younger. I can't stand some of the crap I willingly took thirty years ago. Someone tells me I'm not allowed to pee and all it does is make me want to pee right there in front of them on the spot. But at my last job, people half my age were in this mode of "You don't want to lose this job. This is one of the only good jobs out there. If you lose this you'll never get a job." I got another job in three days. I can't believe I stayed there as long as I did.
Good luck! I'll be looking forward to your hubs.
I am not sure how I missed this one but awesome hub! Good luck and I am glad you left the bank. They have probably gone bust and made millions by now anyway.
And no one should have to eat anything that describes itself as a "cheese flavored food product." Look at some of my recipes and you will find how to make the real thing - cheaply :)
Thanks Mark! Actually, about a week after I left the government brokered a sale of my workplace to another bank which is to be complete by the end of the year, at which point the other bank will likely close our call center. So I was ahead of the curve! lol! I'll definitely check out your recipes. Thank you for commenting.
Pam its great that things are working out for you. You have the intestinal fortitude to make things happen and you will find that the harder you work the luckier you will become???. How are you going with that website?
Hi agvulpes! I feel so much better now, I don't miss the place at all. I start a new job in a few days, half time, very low stress, no working with angry people---I just put videos on shelves. Take them out of the box, put them on the shelf, the end. The website still has me stymied. I've had two people here from HubPages try to walk me through installing Wordpress and I still haven't managed it. I think I'm going to have to get a live person to walk me through it. But on the up side, once I know how, I'll know how! Thanks for all the encouragement!
Good to hear someone has got out of the ratrace, its not conducive to a long and happy life. If you feel like it send me an email with what you are wanting to do on the web I may be able to offer some advise. I don't believe in paying for something if there is a free alternative.
Glad you left the farm! Change is usually a good thing and it leaves you open to chase the dreams. Good for you pgrundy! tossing in the towel can be sooooo rewarding. i admire you, you will do just fine. C.S.
Thanks C.S.! It sure feels better. Now that I finally jumped, I can't believe it took me as long as it did to bail! I appreciate your positive words!
:) Thank you for the add :)
Great hub. Best of luck in your post-bank career. If it's any consolation it seems that banks are like this everywhere in the world. A friend of mine worked for a bank in Canada for almost 20 years from the day she turned 18. She did not have a university degree but did a great job and worked her way up to where she was in charge of substantial foreign currency transactions at their regional head office. She loved her job despite typically ignorant bosses who had been promoted because they had a degree and knew nothing about the practical aspects of the buisiness. On several occasions she saved the bank hundreds of thousands of dollars when she caught mistakes that they had made. Then one day the bank, who had just posted record profits of several billions of dollars, decided to downsize and eliminated her department as well as many other positions. She and hundreds of other people with seniority were given the "privilege" of being allowed to reapply to work for the bank at its call centre (they weren't even given the courtesy of a new lower paying job, they had to beg for it). She got the job, and worked taking hundreds of calls from irate customers, many calling about the lousy customer service they were getting now that the bank was understaffed. After a few years of this she quit and found a new career. She is a lot happier now. I am sure you will be too.
Sock Puppet, I really appreciate you sharing this story about your friend. In spite of the tone of this hub, I have a lot of guilt about leaving that job in this economy, and I would have never done it if I weren't really, truly, seriously at the end of my rope. It helps to hear these stories from other people around the world--it makes me feel like less of a failure.
I've worked hard all my life and done a lot of things. Along the way I picked up two college degrees and once even taught college for a little while. In spite of a lifetime of work experience, good skills, and lots of education, I've been working in call centers for seven years because that is the only kind of work I've been able to even get an interview for. It's serious burn-out work. I've watched person after person come on the floor and quit within months, and all the while I stuck it out, year after year. I was told by one supervisor that call centers don't WANT employees to stay longer than two years. They aim to push people up (very few get promoted and supervisor jobs at these places are not so great either) or out, mostly out, between the one and two year mark. Most people leave way before that.
I hope that these places crash and burn with the financial meltdown. NO ONE likes them--not the customers, not the employees, no one except the CEOs and people at the very top who have sucked up all the middle management money for themselves and reduced customer service to a thin joke. Also, the work is insulting to customers and workers both and inhumane.
I'm so much happier now that I'm out of there. I'll never do it again. Never.
Thanks again and all the best to you.
Great hub & that is a good childhood picture! I appreciated your hub about macaroni & cheese. I share your viewpoint. I would rather make macaroni & cheese from scrach with real cheese then have it out of a box. There is no substitute mate! Thank you for the most excellent hub. It real hit me between the eyes. I can't stand the fake stuff out of the box either! Thank you again for the time & effort you put forth.
There is nothing worse than dying a little everyday, being devoured slowly and painfully by a job that bites you, chews you up, spits you out, and tries to make you think you deserve it, or should like it. Who are they to define us? But, they attempt to tell you who you are, and just what's wrong with you when in reality they couldn't evaluate a good beer.
I walked on one that was doing that to me in January. I was giving them all I had, and more than they deserved - they made huge money on my talent and made me feel totally inadequate because of THEIR debt that could not be met.
I will never let any one much less a job do that to me again. I'm so glad you are making the "right" turn at the corner. ANY job that doesn't tear you apart, is a good job. BEST of luck to you and enjoy the fresh air you will once again breathe. You are worth it. I know you feel very relieved!!
That was quite an experience sister. I really feel you have come up the hard way and surely it has strengthened your resolve to succeed against all odds. They say in India " A gold shines brighter after the ordeal of fire" and Iam sure there are people like you who stand testimony to that analogy.
Quit? Wait a minute, I read your profile and that person is not a quitter, that person is a winner. That job that you dislike so much, love it, those people love them, thank them. For showing you what you don’t want to be. Please, Please be careful with that word hate. “As one of my mentors say. Cancel, Cancel” “Hate” is an ugly word. You seem like a beautiful person. Not only is it a bad word it is also a very negative feeling or state of mind. Those feelings bring forth negative results. Those results come on to you not the one’s you have those feelings towards. It’s like having a resentment towards somebody. “ You drink the poison and expect them to die” It doesn’t work that way.
Just because you moved on. Doesn’t mean that you quit. Move on in a positive way, you are being a better person. I give you so much credit. From what I’ve read you have always made good decisions. I did the same thing you did. Yet I didn’t. I left home at an early age. Had my first apartment in the Bronx, Got my GED, tried to go to collage. “That was a Joke” Instead I chose drugs, alcohol, Sex, night clubs and crime. I did unimaginable things of which I am not proud. Looking at your profile you have many things to be proud of. You have been blessed. Tell that job to KISS YOUR ASS “ In a Nice way” Thank them and move on, with your head up high. Quitters never win. You are a Winner.
Peace, Love, Light, Health, Happiness and Massive Success… JosephDiego
You're definately a talented writer. Sometimes it's the chip on the shoulder - so to speak - that gets us to where we want to be. I hope you can channel it in a positive direction. Best of luck.
Hi marketingmergenow, I agree! Homemade mac n cheese is wonderful. There's no comparison with the orange fake stuff.
mariesure, You KNOW I'm so relieved to be out of there. I will think hard before taking another job that violates my own ethics and principles. I also think that it just isn't necessary--this abusive management style that is so popular right now--it's just so poisonous and unnecessary. Thanks for your support.
countrywomen, thank you for your supportive words. I have a friend that shares that expression with me all the time. It's beautiful.
josephdiego, good points! Guilt is kind of a wasted emotion--I do like 'moved on' much better.
Paul & free ps3, thank you for your supportive comments. I hope the chip falls off of my shoulder! lol! I'll have to ruminate on that one!
Wow. I am glad to have "met" you. Hang in there, visualize your dreams, and then take the steps to get there. Old Chinese saying... the journey of a 1,000 miles begins wiht the first step.
Thanks bitsdawg! I appreciate your encouraging words. Good to 'meet' you too!
Hi Pam,
Great hub. Good to know that I a'm not alone in the struggle to get out of my cocoon and become a butterfly. So Cheers while we say C'mon Life, Bring It On!
Hi Sheena, Thank you for commenting! Best of luck to you too! I think we all deserve to do work that matters to us and that we can feel good about. It's hard to get that set up sometimes, but it's so basic. It's such a big part of life.
Mad props. Hatred for the corporate ball-busters should be bottled up, shaken, and then sprayed all over the artistocratic fools who make this nation useless.
Hi Pam, Sounds like a major paradigm shift is happening in you. I bet its all about to get wonderful. Keep us posted.
When I was in college we saved our money for the margaritas, so we could get the all you could eat happy hour spread!
Very inspiring. It sounds like your mind is in the right place. best of luck!
Hi coggster, patricia and hotspotguide. Thank you for your supportive comments. It's true, my life is getting wonderful--Right after I quit I got some more writing work, a raise in pay at one of my regular columns, and a new part-time job. I feel great. I can't believe I waited so long.
hotspotguide, I'm on the same page. I'm working on a hub about abusive management styles and why they are inefficient. I'd like to see a post-corporate era ushered in soon. It could happen.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and reading the hub.
I'm new on this site, but I came here because I suddenly found myself "job-less" I was just fired from a job where I stood behind a counter for 8 hours a day blowing up balloons for $7/hour. I probably would have quit soon if i hadn't been fired for "calling in too much." And then I stumble across your blog and read your Mac and Cheese story, which FYI, even with the invention of "easy mac" the stuff hasn't changed much and is just as rejected by your body when eaten in excess. I've just added you to my favorites and look forward to reading more.
Very good topic. you rearch these ideas so much. thank you for sharing
Hi PussnBoots, Welcome to Hub Pages! I think you'll like it here, it's a lot of fun--more fun than blowing up balloons all day! lol!
Thanks mytube and naughty by nature. I appreciate your comments.
Congratulations on quitting the call center job! I've been working in call centers for almost ten years now, and I am getting sick of it. I'm sick of working for corporate America, period. I plan on quitting and doing stand up comedy and/or writing for a living. FYI, I actually found HubPages through one of your articles I found in a search engine. You're writing some great articles, keep up the good work!
Hi johngriggs! That is amazing that you found hub pages though one of my articles in a search engine--it's encouraging though! It's fun here. I think you'll like it. I'm working on a separate hub about corporate management and how it wastes people unnecessarily--after calming down I realized I did have some constructive things to say so I'm working on that.
Good luck on your comedy and your writing! No one should be stuck in call centers for a decade. Here's to both of us! Cheers!
Pam,
Thanks for sharing your experience. Too many employees have experienced the same situation as yours. My cousin just quit his job because of labor malpractice. It's quite unfair but sometimes that's how the system works and we can only quit when we are not happy anymore. that's what most most people say. I say, we know within ourselves if it's worth keeping or worth giving up.
Hi Debra,
Yes, abusive labor practices are so common now--I'm afraid we are going to have have a labor movement all over again in this country--but right now employers know people have very few choices so they can exploit them without worry. Hopefully we'll get back on track and that will change. For now, I'm really glad I left. Thank you for your comments.
great hub...nice....
Yes we were raised in the 60's. It's creeping out of our pores; when placed between a rock and a hard place we don't lay down and take it, nor do we cry about how unfair it all is. We push back until every ounce of fight is drained from us.
A few years back I found myself in a similar situation. The more I was pushed the harder I pushed back. The writing was on the wall, but I knew I was making more money than I was likely to find elsewhere. I had been supporting my kids by myself for 5 years, I had recently remarried and no matter how unhappy it made me I didn't want anymore change in my life right then. Well, one morning I arrived at work to discover the choice had been taken out of my hands.
Regardless of how much less income I had, it was the best thing that could have happened, my only regret was not taking responsibilty for my own happiness and doing it much sooner, myself.
Pam, this is a great hub. You deserve so much better than that. You are completely right to walk away from that vile a job and take something that has low stress, push your writing, find other ways to earn a living. Life is too short to force yourself to endure abuse for a pittance.
I've been down that road too and it's not worth it. Think about how much you have to waste in order to keep up with the demands of the bank job too. Stacking magazines is something you could probably wear jeans to work or at least just comfortable clothing rather than expensive Business Casual, and be real with people. It costs a lot to keep up the kind of appearances big companies demand.
If you could make millions for them, you can do something for yourself that'll earn enough to live on comfortably. When you're the one in charge making the decisions and decide what's comfortable, life gets so much saner. Don't discount building up your writing to a decent income too, all by itself. Quite a few people are successful at it and if you look at the numbers on this Hub, you are on your way!
Hi CJtoo, Yes I'm sure I'd have been fired soon if I hadn't quit--By the time I quit I was so beyond burned out that I didn't even like myself, so why would my boss like me? I'm glad you got free of your cublicle hell. Life is too short!
robertsloan2, Thank you for the encouraging words. I'm in my first week with the magazine thing and it's great. Very low stress, I can indeed wear jeans, and I get lots of walking exercise doing it. Amazingly enough, the pay is the same--and you are right about the expense of keeping up the business casual wear and the facade and all--expensive and tiring. I appreciate your support. The writing is going pretty well too. I should have done this a year ago.
Hi Pam, it takes a lot of courage to step out and say I quit! I remember it's because of the fear of the unknown or the future that causes us to freeze up and stop us most of the time. But you finally did it! And as you share your story (and how you are doing well now), many are touched. Either they are able to relate with you or they see that if they do decide to get out of any "bad" situation things could actually get better! And it is possible to work and be happy too. :) I'm truly happy for you. Keep growing and loving. Take care...
So great to hear! Sounds like your life has taken a real turn for the better. Woohoo! :D
The fact that this Hub has reached the 100 score reflects it's quality, and the empathy that fellow hubbers feel for you! Your writing is so good, both of us Patricias feel as if we know you. Hope that your new job works out, and that your writing commisions increase. Will watch out for all your future hubs with interest.
Thank you both patricias! I do like my new job, thanks for mentioning that. Put in my first week this week in training, and once that's over it will be about 15-20 hours a week in the mornings, leaving me all afternoon to write. I should have left that bank a year ago. Thank you again for your kind words. (o:
Amazing hub - all power to you pgrundy - sheer determination and grit will win and you certainly have a healthy dose of both working for you. I just opted out of a job where I was literally bullied by a pair of idiot turkeys who did not have my education or experience! Go well in your chosen field of work. cheers
Thank you ajcor! Good for you! At 55 I'm tired of being pushed around--I feel like, by this age, I know at least a FEW things and should be treated like a person, not a mule. So far things are going OK for me. I wish I'd quit years ago.
The harsh life of a female living in the Americas... A good story though :D.
Thanks for the comment. I've had a great life--just couldn't stand that job!
Loved your Mac & Cheese story, especially the part about you college. I too (graduated from HS 1969) was informed by my parents at an early age that college was not an option for me because I was just going to get married have children and quit my job. My only possible future would be to become a hairdresser (so I could possibly do it out of my home). My straight A grades and dreams weren’t enough, yet like you my older brother (the partier)was given carte blanch in his choices even though it took him 6 years to get through high school and I graduated before him! Never did get to go to college, but moved out, got a job and went to school at night. Was only able to get an Associates, then ran out of money. Didn’t qualify for financing due to parents income (they counted it even if you weren’t living together). Managed to do ok, but often wonder what could have been.
Hi LJB15!
Thank you for sharing your story. I think we lived through an odd time for women. We started with one set of rules and then all the rules changed mid-way through our lives, but I like the new ones better. You know, it's never to late to go back. When I was in grad school I had three kids and I had fellow students who were in their sixties. Just a thought--Anyway, enjoy your life and all the best to you!
I am a man, 38, and I totally relate to this hub as if I were you, Pam.
Thank you, and good luck in all your heart's endeavors.
--Reg
PS: btw, when I was in college, it was ramen that we used as you used mac & cheese, but it is a similarly malnourishing substance.
Thanks Reg! All the best to you too! My kids used to love ramen noodles, but you are so right--not much there but starch, salt, and MSG. (o:
Pamela, great hub. Very engaging, and emotionally charged. I love it. And Malcolm Gladwell, in his new book Outliers, would say that putting your head down and plowing through is a key to success. He reports on research that shows that it takes 10,000 hours of practice at anything to become a top expert in it. Reminds me of Ray Bradbury, who said, if you want to be a good writer, write a million words.
Plowing on! Much appreciated!
Thanks Bruce! Keep on plowiin'!
Did you jack it in and if so did you get your website up?
Hi Ken, no website up, no. I quit the bank the end of October. It turned out I would have lost the job anyway. Don't miss it.
Paraglider says:
13 months ago
Pam - another great hub. The writing just flows out of you. By the way, twice I've chucked in a job with no clear idea of what I was going to do next. On both occasions it was because I was being asked to do something that would have been against my conscience. I know people who stayed in the same circumstances and lived to regret it. I'm telling you this because I'm convinced that when you're in a job that's diminishing you, it's almost impossible to plan your next move. But if you just leave, the scales fall away like magic, you think clearly again, and something turns up. You've got courage - you'll do!