I Used to Hate You
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Friendship
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Friends to the End: The True Value of Friendship
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KEEPSAKE FRIENDSHIP
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TWO (2) BRACELET SET - Prayer for a Friend - A Friend is Someone We Turn To When Our Spirits Need a Lift. A Friend is Someone We Treasure For Our Friendship is a Gift. A Friend is Someone Who Fills Our Lives With Beauty, Joy, etc. + Heart Charm ~ Silver Tone Metal
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Sterling Silver "The Story of Friendship is Written on the Pages of the Heart" & "I am a Better Me Because of You" Reversible Two-Charm Pendant, 18"
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Pulling The Wall Down
Once I knew this girl. I wanted to reach out to her, because she looked like she needed a solid friend in her life, and I thought, hey, I'm solid. So I tried. I hung out with her all the time and encouraged her nonstop. I truly poured into her. Then this girl turned on me, despite what she says now, and has most likely taught herself to believe. She took something precious to me, even after I had given so much of myself to her. I hated her. I despised her. Never in my life had I hated someone like I know I hated her. I didn't care if she got hurt, in fact I almost liked the idea. I am ashamed as I type this, because I am a Christian and this attitude is not Christlike.
But at some point I realized this had to stop. Not only was I going completely against the biblical command to "love your enemies", I was bringing myself down. I had built up walls of bitterness all around myself, and they were working. They kept pain from creeping in, and anger worked like arrows I could throw out if I got overwhelmed. But other things stayed out, too. Love and forgiveness could not get through my barrier either. Even tears could not get out of me very often.
I had to tear down the wall. This was very difficult. People around me told me I was wrong. They told me she was the victim, and I, the persecutor. I know in my heart that she did me wrong, but the people around me telling me different made it harder to let go. I still wanted to hold onto that wrong she had done me and make people aware. Again, the BIble speaks completely against this when it says, "Love does not take into account a wrong suffered."
It's been two years since she hurt me so deeply. I still do not like her. I avoid contact with her. But I am free of her in the sense that I do not allow what happened hold me back. When I become friends with someone I don't hold myself back. I love without reservation, because I know that God works everything out for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. Although I do not know God's full purpose in allowing such pain to come upon me, I know He knows.
And I am safe in His hand.
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Comments
I don't want to sympathize with you, but what you did is right. We don't treat our enemies the way they treat us or we will become like them and stoop to their level.
I have been learning about this in our Bible Study. I was very convicted that I needed to make a change in my attitude about this. I came to the realization that for me at least, I felt that if I "let it go" that it would be forgotten- that the truth would never be known. I have SO very much hurt and anger about this because of the hurt I feel this girl caused. However, even if the truth is never known, SO WHAT? God did not tell us to obey him IF...... I am not over the hump on this yet but I know God is dealing with me and helping me. I'm thankful that you have such a good attitude about this. You really have taught me something. I think it must be the hardest thing in the world to forgive someone who hurts your child but God did just that didn't he?
This is where the rubber hits the road in the Christian walk, it is easy to love and forgive those that we love who have not really hurt us much even the world can manage to live this way. Loving an enemy the word enemy tells you they are not your friend and they don't love you and they do want to harm you, well our enemies are the very ones that Jesus says we have to love, forgive and pray for and guess what, it turns out that this is the best way to deal with an enemy and the damage that they can inflict is lessened by doing things God's way. You are blessed to have discovered this so early in your life it unfortunately took me a lot longer.
Thanks for your comment maggs224!!
I, too, feel blessed to have gotten to this place. I have found that loving is much more of a solution than hating. I still struggle to follow in Jesus' footsteps in this area, but I am still trying!!
:-)
Adam B says:
8 months ago
I kind of have a similar situation but instead of me hating someone, it is my wife who hates.
It all happened on my wedding day, we had the perfect ceremony and everything was going as planned when suddenly we had a crasher. This girl named Megan who is friends with my cousin Amanda showed and expected to be at the reception even though she was not invited. We didn't have room for her but last minute, even though my wife was irritated that she was there, put her at a table.
My cousin didn't like the table Megan was seated at and decided to take it upon herself to move her to a different table. My wife found out and told her sister who was the maid of honor to fix the problem and talk to Amanda.
Next thing I know we are just about to get intoduced for the first time and Amanda comes storming over o Lauren and screams in her face about the "Megan Situation." Amanda was in her face yelling and causing a problem making my wife cry. Durring his episode, my mother came out and overheard what was going on and sided with Amanda. I intervened, told everyone to drop it and said to get Megan out. My mother lost her mind and told her husband (not my Dad) they were leaving. Nice huh?
My Cousin ruined my wedding for everyone and to this day my wife Hates Amanda.
It's been five years since that day and the hate still exists. I have tried to explain to my wife that we need to forgive. I talked about Jesus as he was being crucidied asking for his punisher's forgiveness. I say we cannot go back in time and change things so why hold on to the past? It is with Amanda to live with not us.
I do not hate my cousin. I lost a lot of respect for her that day but everyone makes mistakes and uses poor judgement.