I Want to Create a Board Game.. "Life in Candie-Land"

I have been wanting to create a new board game. It's been in the back of my mind for years it seems, but being the one my friends refer to "The idea girl" not the "Implement it girl" it has sat for ever.

So here I go.

First the name.. I see "Life" has been claimed. It's a tad to mainstream and dull for me so I never did play it much. "Candyland" has also been claimed. I love this game. I have friends' kids we play it all the time. I wanna be "Queen Frostine" when I grow up. So I have been giving this some thought for the last 2 days and here's what I've come up with:

It will be the type that has 'cards' you draw/read/move from. I haven't decided on the "game pieces". I think if you want to play this with me, you should bring your own. Something that says 'you' maybe something you found in the bottom of your purse. I would rather it not be something from the 'women's hygiene' category, thank you. Maybe a piece of unchewed gum. Pick anything you fancy, be creative! I adore creative!

I will be a rubber duck. I must explain here that my favorite Grandma's nickname was "duck" from a 1920 cartoon..DuckyDaddles. So years ago I adopted it in her honor.. I'm the duck.

You and hubby had a terrible fight. He's having an affair. You need a new pair of shoes. this always makes you feel better. You want new clogs. It's bumper to bumper to traffic, and you found a parking space right in front of the store! MOVE FORWARD 4 SPACES WITH LOUD CLOMPING SOUNDS.

You discover you have 23 pairs of clogs, but they are all different and special. MOVE FORWARD 3 SPACES WITH A SMUG SMILE OF SATISFACTION.

Your best friend admires one of your pairs of clogs. You give them to her. She falls off a curb wearing them and tears her knee. Not your fault, but you LOOSE 1 SYMPATHY TURN.

Your friend with the bad knee feels sad. You feel guilty. You don't want her to know, so you make her tea and take cookies. MOVE 2 CHOCOLATE CHIP SPACES FORWARD.

He's gone. Life is good now. She can have him. MOVE 12 HAPPY DANCE SPACES FORWARD AND SPIN YOUR PLAYING PIECE IN CIRCLES FOR NOT FILING A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THE NEW GIRLFRIEND.

Your son is 19. He wants to move out. He needs to learn some life lessons. You begin by no longer buying groceries so he can see how expensive it is to eat. MOVE 10 SPACES FORWARD

Now there is no food in the house. MOVE BACK 1 SPACE

You have to go to the Attorney's office to get help with your car accident claim. MOVE 2 SPACES FORWARD BECAUSE YOU SIGNED LOTS OF SCARY FORMS SAYING HE COULD TAKE A HUGE CHUNK FROM YOUR SETTLEMENT.

The original car accident wasn't your fault. MOVE 3 SPACES FORWARD, BUT STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE.

You didn't get into an accident going to his office. MOVE 2 SPACES FORWARD WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH.

You had 3 cups of strong coffee in 30 minutes in his office. MOVE3SPACESFORWARDRD3SPACESBACKWARDS3SPACESFORWARD.

OOh! He's bought himself some food, there's an open can of Spaghettios in the fridge. It's not like he "owes" you for all the food you've bought him for 19 years and all the diapers and crying and school picture purchases, and watching him play soccer in the rain for 10 years. We're in this together. You have 6 spoons of it. MOVE FORWARD 8 SPACES FOR LEAVING SOME IN THE CAN.

You've been sitting here typing. You need to get toilet paper. The store is 2 blocks away. Not much, but it's uphill coming home. You walked to the store instead of drive. MOVE 3 ENVIRONMENTALLY CONSCIOUS SPACES WAY FORWARD.

You researched the word "widget". Good job! MOVE ENOUGH SPACES FORWARD TO COVER HOW GREAT THIS WORD IS!

You only used the word "widget" 3 times today.. Though if you were honest, you thought it several times in the last hour..Duh, YOU GET 3 SPACES FORWARD FOR GOING TO RECOVERY CLASS!

You made it to the store, forgot the toilet paper but bought a tub of excellent ice cream. MOVE 1 SPACE BACK . NEVERMIND THE ICE CREAM IS BREYERS HEATH BAR MOVE 5 SPACES FORWARD.

You dream your whole house is clean. MOVE FORWARD 2 SPACES

That was a stupid "fantasy". MOVE BACK 3 SPACES AND THINK ABOUT THIS SOMEMORE!

You grabbed a small bowl for the ice cream, then put it back because you didn't want to do dishes and you ate it out of the container.. All of it in 2 days.. Crap. MOVE BACK 6 SPACES.

You and your friends are at the coffee shop. You know you should only have a :"double-tall-skinny". They are having "mocha's" so you have a "quad mocha frap with caramel sauce". MOVE BACK 3 SPACES WITH A HAPPY CARAMEL-COATED SMILE..

Your cats are hungry. They are yelling things at you. You speak enough "cat" to know they need feeding. You add some canned icky stuff to their dry stuff. They love you for this. MOVE FORWARD 4 SPACES AND BRUSH THE CAT HAIR OFF YOUR PANT LEGS.

You remember you never got toilet paper. This time you drive to the store 2 blocks away. You got the toilet paper and remembered light bulbs. It was a good day!! MOVE 3 SPACES FORWARD for the TP and bulbs. MOVE 1 SPACE FORWARD FOR DRIVING - IT WAS RAINING

Now that you have lightbulbs you can see in the bathroom at night. Good thing because your 19 year old son just left the toilet seat up! That near miss could have been disastrous! MOVE 2 STEPS FORWARD CAUTIOUSLY BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THE SEAT WAS UP 3 NIGHTS AGO!

You've been watching the Food Network and now your starving. You go to the cupboard and you have peanut butter and jelly. You could have gotten food with the TP and bulbs. MOVE 4 TOUGH LUCK SPACES BACKWARDS.

The dishes needed washing, so you do them, only some had been in son's room for 2 weeks. MOVE 17 SPACES FORWARD.

The boy complains there are no clean forks. He's 19. You tell him to wash them him self or use his fingers. MOVE 17 SPACES FORWARD.

You need to blow off steam, you go for a motorcycle ride with a neighbor but end up in a biker bar. You have your hair in braids and a snappy bright red and silver motorcycle coat. You look in the mirror at the bar and realize..You look more like Dorothy from the Wiz. of Oz than the other biker chicks, and they're giving you some "looks"!!! One fellow even asked you "what flavor are you?" MOVE 3 RUM N COKE SPACES FAST FORWARD AND OUT TO THE MOTORCYCLE FOR BRAVERY AND ADD 4 SPACES BECAUSE WHEN THEY ASKED YOU WHAT FLAVOR YOU WERE, THEY ALSO LOVINGLY ANNOUNCED YOU ARE 'MARSHMALLOW-FILLED.'

You dream you're in Hawaii with a beautiful cold drink with a little umbrella in it, toes in the sand, sun on your face. MOVE FORWARD 6 SPACES.

AS IF!!! Go clean your house. GO BACK TO START.

Editor's note:

It has come to my attention, after publishing this I forgot to give credit to my mentor. So I shall include a card for him:

Your mentor (the black cat) has been sitting on your lap helping you write this. He has been so patient! MOVE TEN SPACES FORWARD CARRYING YOUR CAT ON YOUR SHOULDER, HOPPING THE LAST 2 AND GIVING HIM A GOOD SCRUFFLE.

So now I'm trying to design the board we're playing on. Got it...

It's design is a Circle. It's a freakin' circle!

We've been going around, and around, and around and around...

The first one to throw their piece across the room and demand a margarita... wins...we all win!!

**Candie's board game copy-writed 4/27/2009 at 953 pm... So don't even think about stealing it cuz I will know and I will hunt you down and flog you with my duck