That's me, "Twisted Tom," comedian, songwriter and connasewer of corn! I was sure to be a star! I had plenty of hilarious songs and a face to go with them. There in the tune town of Nashville Tennessee, my tapes were being listened to by the top dogs at Sony Publishing.

My friend, Bobby Braddock, who had written many hit songs was playing my tapes for the folks at Sony where he was a staff writer. Bobby told me once that I had to be a genius to write a song soooo stupid! He loved my work and was trying to help me get a deal at Sony.

I also made parodys of some current Country hits of the time. One in particular was a song called," Now I Know." by Lori White. It was a song about how you feel when you lose someone. My version was about a man losing his penis.

Bobby took my version in to let an executive hear it. The executive fell out of his chair laughing. Then, the executive decided to play my song over the company intercom. To make a long story short, a secretary sued the company for sexual harassment because my song was so disgusting to her.

She had other complaints but my song was right up there on top. The executive got fired and my dream of being a singing comedian was crushed. I was good at writing comedy songs but Nashville, being a little big town pretty much signed me off. I figured that if the executive was out of work, my chances were slim to none.

Not long after, my family and I left Nashville for Ohio. I will always be thankful to Bobby for believing in me and trying to help. I didn't give up on my dream, I just changed it. I have made thousands of people laugh on Myspace and in other ways with my silly songs. A heartbroken woman once wrote and told me that my funny songs made her laugh and she felt so much better.

Fame and fortune can't hold a candle to that. I have also gotten many other similar thanks through my serious song sites. I make very little money but I am very wealthy in smiles. I also get to smile a lot with the writers on Hubpages. There are many very talented people here. I am thankful.

Real version:

I always wondered how I'd live without you
If you ever said goodbye
Would I just live in dreams about you
With tears in my eyes
Would I fall to pieces when you go
I always wondered how I'd live without you
Now I know

Chours.....I'm doing alright
I'm strong enough to make it on my own
I'm not afraid of the night
I'm learning how to face it alone
I've been good at holding on
Now I'm learning to let go
I always wondered how I'd live without you
Now I know

I always wondered what I'd do without you
I found out today
I got up and made a cup of coffee
And time just slipped away
I dressed up and went out on the town
To places you'd never go
I always wondered what I'd do without you
Now I know

My version:

I always wondered how I'd live without it

then I got real drunk one night

I always wonder how I'll do without it

As I look down at my fly

She chopped it to pieces, too bad to sew

I always wondered how I'd live without it, now I know

Chorus...... I urine alright! But I have to sit on the toilet bowl

I'm real afraid of a knife, I see one and I just lose control!

It's so small, I can't hold on!

I sure miss watching the flow

I always wondered how I'd live without it, Now I know!

Verse 2.......I always wondered how I'd do without it

And then I found out today

She jumped up and she laughed about it

Said I didn't have to pay

I guess I could transplant the end of my nose

I always wondered how I'd live without it, now I know!

you can hear my stuff at: