"I don't have to poop Mommy," says my three year old son who was just caught in the corner of his room clenching his fists and butt cheeks with all his might. You have to laugh at how he really thinks he is hiding the fact that he has to use the bathroom. My ears have adjusted to the screams I continue to hear as I escort him to the bathroom and luckily his legs are to little to do any damage to my shins when I force him to get on the toilet. Only a mother who has dealt with this can understand the frustration and defeat you feel when after twenty minutes on the toilet you have to give up. It seems almost cruel to leave him there for so long for his legs to get numb and still have no results. Though I am guilty of leaving him there for almost forty minutes till my lack of patience causes me to just yell at him and send him to his room.

"you cant hold it in forever!" this is my response to a three year old boy who is content with his constant struggle against nature.

My son doesn't suffer from constipation or any medical problem. He eats plenty of fiber and the appropriate servings, if not more, of fruit. My son suffers from "Its gonna hurt mommy" his fear of going to the bathroom has held us up with this thing called potty training for almost a year now.

I have become aware of the signs before it gets to the point of hiding in the corner. My son is very well trained in going pee-pee. I would often find him changing his pants for what seemed to be no reason to find his pants on his room floor soiled. When this happens a few times a day he has to pee. He fears one will lead to the other. On this day I follow him around like a shadow waiting for the right moment to struggle him on the toilet.

I have realized that he needs to overcome this fear on his own. It is no longer what I should do, but what i should have done earlier on.

I should have been satisfied on his progress of going peepee. My initial reaction to rush his progress in order for him to be ready for school in September back fired and the constant fighting with him only made him regress. I was in such a hurry to keep up with The Jones' kid that I allowed my son to end up fearing something he has to do everyday for the rest of his life. As i spend my days following him around and feeling like I have been defeated I only laugh. I have yet to come across a mother who has to rub there teenagers back and give them a cookie on the toilet.