INFIDELITY: This Is My Story!
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I was eighteen when I got married and like so many teenage marriage, I got pregnant. A lost childhood and a low self-esteem contributed to a series of bad decisions. It was too late to regret everything so I faced my situation with courage and with all of my heart. Everything was hard for me but I thought it was better than having no one at all. My greatest solace was the comfort of the infant that I was feeding from my breast.
My husband was 23 years old and not mature enough to hold the responsibility of a family. He spent most of his time with his friends, getting drunk and smokin' pot. He comes home as he pleases. We had to stay at my in-laws and I on the other hand, had to serve his family. My every move was dictated by my mother in-law. I am not allowed to see my friends and my family.
In 2001, he finally had a break and was able to work in Saudi Arabia. We moved to an apartment owned by my in-laws just two doors from their own home. Finally, I can breathe a little.
After 2 years of working abroad, he came home with another woman. Then my nightmare begun. I was in utter shock and disbelief, I couldn't even manage to cry. Nothing in human experience can compare with the agony of knowing that the person to whom I pledged eternal devotion has betrayed my trust and was engaged in sexual intimacies with a stranger, a competitor, an intruder. Death itself would be easier to tolerate than being tossed aside like an old shoe.
I was angry at my husband but I also want to hold him in my arms. I watched him sleeping in the couch and I wanted so bad to hug him tight but deep down I know it will not be appreciated. He never want to sleep with me because he felt guilty, not for me but for his woman.
In my attempt to win him back and to know what's on his mind, I would tolerate him telling me all the things that they did together including the passionate lovemaking. He would show me their pictures and show me the things that he gave to her that he never gave to me. Like a husband and wife swatch watch, a life-size teddy bear and a twin necklace. I would wake up to the sound of my husband talking to her over the phone and he wouldn't even mind me hearing their sweet concerns for each other. In countless occasions, both of them made a fool out me. I felt like I was the intruder to their love affair. I was young and stupid and I didn't know any better.
My world was in chaos. I looked at the mirror and ask what have I done to this woman that she wanted to tear me apart. In my frustration, I imagined skinning her alive, slapping her a couple of times but no amount of physical pain can measure to my own pain. It was my life that she was ruining, my children's future, the only life that I knew. I thought about having my husband killed.
I held on to my bible instead and the verse that comforted me at that time was God said, "Vengeance is mine, I will vindicate you". What kind of pain could I inflict on them when I am only limited as a human being.
The woman and I agreed to meet in a restaurant because they made me believe it was over between them. I bought a book for her, "Encouraging Words For Women", by Darlene Sala. She asked for my forgiveness, for causing me so much pain and I said, "In this game, no one wins, everybody gets hurt. So let's forget about it." I meant it. In my nervousness, I had to use the women's bathroom only to find myself in the men's bathroom. She laughed at me.
The next morning my husband came home telling me that he was with his woman and they made love again. He can't leave her because he loved her very much. To make matters worse, I found a marriage contract with their names, I was shaking, I was confused and I didn't know what to do. We talked, he wanted us to move rather than him moving because it was their apartment after all. I knelt down and begged for him to let me and my children stay because we have nowhere to go. The affair hardened his heart.
I was left alone crying in the living room. I took a knife and attempted to take my life but my love for my children is greater than my despair. I was on my knees and cried to God, my heart was screaming from inside. I asked God, "How strong do You think I am that You made me suffer from childhood until now?' Why is my life a constant struggle? I sobbed my way 'till morning.
I took a job as an agent in one of the international banks in my country. A small room in the squatters area is all that I can afford. My daughter opted to stay with her grandparents and I have to respect her decision because I cannot drag her to the life of uncertainty ahead. My son never wants to leave my side. I knew that it wasn't the end but the beginning of a new life. I felt that was passing thru the eye of a needle. I look at my son who has asthma lying on the floor and not much to eat while his father was lying at the comfort of our home. After ten months of being an agent relying solely on commissions to sustain us I finally got the break. I became the manager of my own agency, a marketing arm of the bank I was working with. My son and I moved to a condominium near my office.
I had the chance of meeting my husbands woman again in a coffee shop. This time, I was different, confident, sophisticated, dignified and with the attitude of being in-charge. To me, that was the greatest vindication God has bestowed on me. A couple of times, my ex-husband asked me to come back to him but I have never been happier in my life. I am free now to be myself, to discover who I am and to recreate myself and experience life to the fullest. In Gods perfect time everything shall be well for me and my children. My daughter will find her way back to me.
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Comments
Sheena, this is such a moving story. You have come a long way since your husband first set out to deceive you, and I hope and trust that your future life will be easier and happier. When one door closes, another opens.
Hi Melissa!
Thank you for taking the time to read my hub. I was having a hard time writing this because I do not want to go into the details anymore. Some, I cant remember. I cannot even put things in order as they unfolded. If I had, this could have been a longer hub. This was the longest time in the history of my life.
I also like your writing, I find them very interesting. I wish I am better with words but English is my second language so I can only use simple English. hehehe
thanks again.
Regards,
Sheena
Hi amanda!
Thank you for the support. The greatest challenge that I am facing now is how I can be great again. I quit that job three years ago but I am always grateful for the things I've learned. I am trying something new and will hopefully give my family more.
thank you again.
Sheena
Thank you for telling your story Sheena. I hope your future will be better than ever before:)
Hi Lazur!
Thank you for reading my hub and for adding up to The Law Of Attraction. Wishing me well I mean.
Sincerely,
Sheena
You will only hurt for as long as you choose to stay hurting. In every trial that you are to face, keep in mind the phrase "and this too will come to pass."
For in life, it is not the struggles you go through that defines your life. It is the character and strength you develop and show through that jouney.
You ask how to be great again.. and i will say to you the same i did when we first met... "believe that you are.. and it will radiate." "What you think is what you create..." because greatness starts with yourself... and only there will you find contentment.
It is not what you lose... coz you deserve something more... do not settle for anything less. and when the pain stops... have hope... in time.. it might not be the next... but it will... do not grieve over something that treated you bad.. forgive and be happy... for it was not you who did the hurting... and move on.
Hi Sheila,
Thank you for reading my hub and for giving me a piece of yourself. I will always remember what you said to me when you were my trainer. "I got something that the others do not have and that is the ability to be heard. When I talk, people listen". Even if that training room is full of intilligent people, you separated me from the rest with what you said to me.
Your the best trainer I ever had. You had the ability to keep people awake on a graveyard shift. It was really fun. One of my best memories!
Cheers,
Sheenarobins
Sheena,
I can so identify with you. I had, not one but two women that I loved become unfaithful. I don't even want to write about the hell I went through. Anyway the past is past, now I'll soon be 10 years on my own. No woman no cry. LOL Life goes on, and with full trust in God, we move forward. The best is yet to come. I truly believe that! Hang tough!
Your friend,
1hopefulman
Hi superman.
Thank you again for reading my hub. I believe we are friends. I wanted you to read this, not to generate traffic but to know me.
Thank you,
Sheena
Sheena, It was like you wrote this all about my life. I didnt marry when i was 18 but we met when we were both 17 and we got married at 20, he fell in love with another woman it tore me apart. I begged him to let me stay in the house with him and his girlfriend. He and his girlfriend have my beautiful house that I have dreamed of all my life. Thank you for sharing your story. You are an inspiration to me. Your life will only get better.
Hi Trish,
I am more honored to have touched your life. Sometimes the best way to get even is to move on. You will never forget him because he was the father of your kids but pray that God will return everything you've lost sevenfolds. He will! Wink ;)
Sheena, this a brave hub! I am so glad that you are doing better and hope your life will be full of blessing for you and your children from now on. Thank you for sharing your story with honesty.
Hello Amy,
Thank you for your nice words. Your very much welcome.
Thank for for sharing sheenarobins you are one brave lady blessed with both brains and guts - you are doing so well after your torrid experiences and I know your life can only continue to improve - your son must be so proud of you ....cheers
Hi Ajcor,
You make me wanna jump out of my sit and get things done right this minute. L.O.L. Problem is it's five in the morning here and I haven't got any sleep. Couldn't seem to sleep after having two cups of coffee with my friends and coca cola last night. I'm still perky. L.O.L
Thank you for reading my hub. Cheers!
Sheena, I am happy you are here today on the same internet plane of existance. Like you said before you wouldn't be where you are now if everything had gone according to the plan, and now you are successful, confident, and got the whole world to conquer. I really enjoy your honest writings.
Sheena, I am happy you are here today on the same internet plane of existance. Like you said before you wouldn't be where you are now if everything had gone according to the plan, and now you are successful, confident, and got the whole world to conquer. I really enjoy your honest writings.
By the way, is your son the next Manny?
That is beautiful and you ahve such strong courage and through the grace of God you have prevailed. God always has a plan and looks out for your best interests. Your daughter will be back and God Bless you and yours !!!
Sheena, you are brave lady, congratulations. Through the worst nightmare of your life, you created new life, the best possible. Your ex is childish. Good you did not return to him. Your freedom is the biggest value you have. It seems like men and women are raised up completely differently: women have to stay faithful and be stable and moderate everything, men can play in that life, without basic responsibility. The same old story, which should be changed. My parents and grandparents are also divorced.
Your daughter loves you very much, and her decision, although painful for you, was very wise. It would be very difficult for you to start up new life, without anything, with two children. God created that situation on such a way to help you. Your daughter is on your side, on her own way...by protecting herself. She is great young lady like her Mum. I hope your son is better. Please feel free to read my new Hub about natural healing the ASTHMA maybe you will find some ideas how to help your boy.
I wish you a lot of best, I am personally emotional about your story, because my Mum was also single Mum. And succeeded, as you will. Does your husband pay alimony? I hope so.
God`s angels are on your side, while loving you and protecting you and your children. Wishing you very Merry Christmas.
You are a brave soul Sheenarobins. It takes courage to be able to stand again and find yourself triumph over the past. I'm glad you have enough love for yourself to reach this point in your life. I know you will continue to be blessed and love will overflow from friends and family. Have a beautiful Christmas and may the new year be one filled with blessings upon blessings:)
What an amazing story, Sheena. And, as you have discovered, success can be the greatest revenge! You go, girl!!!
Good for you. I hope you get your daughter back soon. Blessings.
Oh Sheena, I just now read your story and if it were not for my already aching heart, your story would have broke me. Thank you for sharing. I will honour you soon with a poem. It will be titled 'For Sheena.'
Oh Gosh! Can't wait for that. Let me go check out your hubs and I might find the reason for your aching heart. thanks for dropping by.
I will wait for the poem! ;) hehehe ;) winks and smiles
One sentence...YOU GO GIRL! Keep that chin up and NEVER look back.
Jack, thank you for the encouraging words. :)
Wow that is an amazing story.Good on you for not returining to him he doesnt deserve you, what a rat.Don't worry what goes around comes around.While your life is only going to go forward,his well......one can only imagine.I hope your daughter returns to you soon.You are a great mother.
blondepoet,
Thank you for reading my story and for lifting me up. See you around!
Your story was very touchy. It must be hard to write it as much I did with my suicidal hub. I'm glad that God has made you a stronger person through all that pain and suffering. And I don't think you need to go back to that (cough) ex-husband of yours any time soon. You got what you deserved, a much better and healthier life not only for yourself but your children. I hope things will go well with you and your daughter.
An excellent Hub. Now we see where your strength has come from.
No joke comments? Aw, Pest I was waiting for that one. LOL. thanks very much.
Sheena- What an amazing journey. I can't even imagine how tough it would have been to be a single mother. I hope you do have your parents and family/friends who are supportive. I wish you the best for a wonderful future for you and your children. :D
Hi countrywomen,
Nice to see you again. I was alone with this happened. I never wished anyone in the family to know. It was also this time when I found my bestfriend for life. Thank you for your kind words.
Sorry Sheena, i have been slowly losing my mind with all of the snow and water. i will try to do better in the future!
How horrible what you went through. Thank you for being able to share this with all of us. I am happy you got your vindication....even if it was later on that you had hoped. But you still did it. And you made it on your own. How proud of you I am. I would love to share with you my history as well...I will email you!!! Beautiful Hub!!!!
Sheena- Well I won't go into the details then about your relationship with your parents. But I am happy for you that you found your best friend during those tough times. May God bless the kind soul who helped you through those tough times. May you have a wonderful future my friend.
Thank you Pest, anything from you is gladly appreciated. :)
jj ;) thanks for the kind words.
countrywomen :) there was no parents, LOL. I also do not want to go into the details because it would be a very sad life for me then. LOL
Sheena the fool did not deserve your love and one day he will look back and regret losing you. You are a lovely and intelligent young lady with a skill at writing and I hope a new friend that I have met. Take a big hug from Ireland x
hmmmp...the hug from Ireland feels warm, actually. Thank you for your kind words. It is an honor to be your friend. :)
Sheena,
thanks for sharing your story which will be a lesson in life for the rest of us.
the pleasure is mine, Benson...as always. thank you for reading my hub.
Sheena, you are one brave girl. And I am truly happy that you have found the contentment within yourself.May you excel in everything that you venture for.
sorry to say I missed this one some how??? You are a surviver that is for sure..I wish I could let it all out...but I am fine...Love you and God is always with you my Angel...G-Ma :O) Hugs
Thanks for sharing your life with us. Very brave indeed. Am happy to see that it didnt scar you for life. You will definitely find a real love, that i pray for. Stay strong
What a touching story. God Bless.
By the way are you from the Philippines?
Lenra
I feel your pain.I know this pain.The other man in my exwifes life happen to be my best friend.Sorry anyone had to feel this same pain.
Daxx
a powerful story from a strong woman.
I wish you a good luck for your future and peaceful life. Forget the past and love the future.
Thank you for having the courage to express this story and share your personal suffering and ultimate triumph. What a brave and strong woman you are!!!
Melissa G says:
13 months ago
Sheena, thank you for sharing your story! I'm sorry to hear about how selfish and cruel your ex husband was and I'm glad you've been able to come to peace with everything and create a successful life for you and your son. As they say, success is the best revenge. :)
That bible verse you shared about vengeance and vindication reminds me of the way someone once described the law of karma to me. It's easy to think that we need to seek some type of revenge, or hurt others as badly as they've hurt us, but when you believe the universe/God/supreme power will work to ensure justice for us all, we can take a step back from it all and let it go.
I wish you much continuing success and happiness.