If I wanted to pay for your kids, I would have slept with your wife

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By funnebone


Fundraising by children as gotten out of hand

I am getting a little tired of the teenage shakedown. Everywhere I go there is a kid shaking me down for money to support their sport trip, dance class, play, program ads ect. What exactly is the lesson being learned when you tell kids that in order to get what they want they should panhandle. At least the con men who ask for $3 tell you it is just to catch the bus home. With that I can feel some delusional gratification even though I know it's for wine. But to hit me up when I am trying to go buy a soda because the fucking marching band is going to Florida for " finals" is just plain arrogant.

First of all, guess what my school taxes are....too fucking high that's what they are. Guess how many kids I have in school...not fucking any. So while I am metal detecting my back yard to find oil money so I can have heat, you little trumpet playing bastards are planning to go to Florida? I haven't gone anywhere tropical since 1997 when I went to Atlantic City and got shit on by seagulls. Secondly, why do the " finals" have to be in florida? Why can't we heard all of you little assholes into a high school gym somewhere so you can see what the gym looks like other than when you re lying on your back from just getting knocked out in dodge ball. Your poor father is busing tables at IHOP so you can go blow your tuba in South Beach? Get lost. And why does the swim team need to raise money? What possible supplies can be out of your economic threshold? If you can't afford speedos, wear your mothers panties, stop blocking my way into the 7-11.



They aren't even taught how to beg correctly. They set up a table at like 11 am, crayola some goofy shit on an old pickle bucket and sit on their asses while their fat mothers peer at me while I run past. They don't even get the fuck up! If I ever do contribute to these little bastards it's going to be when i wiz nickles at them from the car as I am pulling out.


And if they need money so bad, how did they all get those cheesy satin jackets with their name on them that they'll outgrow in 7 months? Crackheads look like crackheads. Their clothes are dirty, teeth are rotten, smell like urine..but these kids look like they just left a sears catalog and are about to dance in Annie. You want my money...earn it. At least the fat softball chicks offer to wash my car.

But why is it every car wash porn I ever saw had hot chicks with half tops on waiving at traffic? Around here they don't block traffic with sexy outfits, they block lanes with their thighs. It is like some kind of fucked up softball fantasy league where you were stuck with all catchers. Every one of them looks like Rosie ODonnel in a League of Their Own.


The girl scouts have a product. Those mint cookies and coconut whateverthefucks are good but not that good. $4-5 a box for cookies? Check back when you're 18 and maybe I'll tip you that when you bring me some Hooters wings but I am not paying 25 cents a cookie so you can learn how to tie knots.

Comments

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Kim Cantrell profile image

Kim Cantrell  says:
2 months ago

ROFLMAO! I have thought this for years...and I do have children. We DO NOT participate in fundraisers. Glad someone finally spoke it! lol

Tater2tot profile image

Tater2tot  says:
2 months ago

Ha-ha. The worst is Girl Scouts, they are everywhere! You just can't escape! They come to your house, they are camped out in front of stores, and even their parents try to sell cookies at work! I walk out of my way just to avoid them. Or stay i the car while my mom goes into the store for what we need. Even though I used to be one, I think they are annoying as heck! It's easier when you are selling them and you just ask people. but then when you're on the other side getting asked! Oh Boy! One time my sister got asked if she wanted to buy a box of cookies and she turned around and snapped "Is that a fat joke?!" It was hilarious!

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

I am proud to be the one to speak up! "is that a fat joke...haha

baban78 profile image

baban78  says:
2 months ago

great hub ; somebody has to tell those little creatures to fuck off !

Prosperity Maker profile image

Prosperity Maker  says:
2 months ago

Well I was both a cheerleader and a girl scout and as much as everyone hated the fund raiser kids which I was one...ughhh....I did to but hey that's what your told to do and as a kids you minded your elders and do as your told ....oh wait that was in the old days...just joking. I have to admit I avoid them too now a days.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

I knew I was on to something...it is the " not in my back yard" phenomenon....

cflynn profile image

cflynn  says:
2 months ago

Thanks for the laughs, hillarious even if we dont really have that in ireland....yet!!

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

And yet another reason to com elive with you little leprachans

there4u profile image

there4u  says:
2 months ago

I would have really liked it if there wasn't any swear words. But I get the point. My sister's daughter wasn't even done one fundraiser when there were already pushing her to do another one.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

I gave a warning at the top....do you sit in wet paint often too?....glad you liked it

francetales profile image

francetales  says:
2 months ago

Aside from being terribly funny that was pure Philly. I just moved last September from PHiladelphia. While I don't miss it, that cranky, irritated, foul mouthed, banter is funny to read. Just don't move in next door. Yo, that jawn cracked me up.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Dude...you moved to france....

Poopalina profile image

Poopalina  says:
2 months ago

Hilarious! As a former Girl Scout, I can attest to the pressure put on young girls to hustle when it came to selling the cookies. They would offer these lame-o incentives, like a keychain for selling 2 million boxes. The really good sellers might earn a small stuffed bear. They'd make you feel like a bad, bad girl scout if you didn't do a decent job selling. Hey, is that a black pug in your picture?

colin mcdermott profile image

colin mcdermott  says:
2 months ago

funnies

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Poop..first you are really too cute to have poop in your name...He is a Boston Terrier a rare all black version. I am sorry to hear about your traumatic scouting experience...I hope you were able to overcome it..now bring me some cookies

Thanks Colin

1lessthantomorrow  says:
2 months ago

Ok, I am a girl scout and I would like to make a rebuttle here.   I understand some of you are too fat and broke to buy my cookies.  I also understand that some of you don't wish to help this country's young underprivileged children to do things we otherwise wouldn't be able to do without fundraising.

But if you fall into these categories, could you just say  "No thank you" to us when we ask you for your help?  We may be kids, but we hear the snide remarks, we see you purposely cross the street to avoid us, we feel your anger and disgust toward us as you walk by without making eye contact with us.

I know you probably get bombarded with a hundred requests for help with fundraisers and charity, but is your heart so black and cold that you can't pull three Washingtons from that black hole you call your wallet?

You can be selfish or shortsighted and even downright mean.  Or, you can be generous, kind, and have foresight by helping a kid do what kids do.....enter our way into the grown up world of commerce and experience.  Afterall, I'm just selling cookies to go to the Zoo. 

So, buy one less six pack...one fewer Hustler magazine....one less pack of cigarettes and throw a kid three bucks you cheap bastard.

danielmybrother profile image

danielmybrother  says:
2 months ago

you're killing me!

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Less isn't you pretending to be a girl scout a violation of your plea? I thought that this was a specific condition along with: not to be within 2 miles of a playground,school,mcdonalds with a happy park, petting zoos, daycares, hallowen superstores and jiffy lubes.

Guest  says:
2 months ago

I am tired of hearing, "it is for the children" or better yet for underprivileged children. The yank on the heart strings using the phraswe "for the children" has worn itself out. I am always appreciative of sentences like that from an earlier post, "You can be selfish or shortsighted and even downright mean." Really? Because I want to make charitable contributions as I wish?

Perhaps we could do a fund raiser and send the writer of the sentence to a class in logic. Learning what ad hominem means could helpful.

"Its for the children." Bah humbug. Its for their parents.

Doesn't matter  says:
2 months ago

The shits are everywhere ! Hell i can't even go to work without being bombarded with snot nose whinners asking '' DO YOU WANT TO BUT SOME COOKIES''.hHEY KIDS IF YOU WANT SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH GET A JOB OR HAVE YOUR RICH PARENTS PAY FOR IT!

PLM profile image

PLM  says:
2 months ago

That did it for me brudda! My wife is calling 9-1-1 as I fell outta my chair laughing so hard she thought I had a heart attack. Couldn't breath for past 3 minutes, but now I've composed myself enough to post a comment. I have FIVE kids and I don't endorse the endless mountain of bullshit the school wants them to pan handle for.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

I am happy to be a leader in the fight against childhood extortion

francetales profile image

francetales  says:
2 months ago

If you see us cross the street then why do you follow us anyway? Did you expect us to be nice to you after you stalked us? And, no I'm not fat, and I'd like to stay that way, so keep away from me with your cookies, maybe you should be petitioning your government to be funding your girly scouts a little better so you wouldn't bug us about it. Seriously, here in France, I have never once been asked for donations of this kind, NOT ONCE. Taxes are very high but at least they go to a cause, keeping kids from bugging you, I mean funding things "for the kids".

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Thank you for your comment. Please in the future do not use France as an indication of what is proper. I may hate these little pudgy panhandlers, but they are still America's children and one day they may want to come visit France and see what the Germans are like.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Thank you for your comment. Please in the future do not use France as an indication of what is proper. I may hate these little pudgy panhandlers, but they are still America's children and one day they may want to come visit France and see what the Germans are like.

dutch84 profile image

dutch84  says:
2 months ago

Hilarious.

Bike Web Guy profile image

Bike Web Guy  says:
2 months ago

I can feel your need to growl.--Puppy in your picture---

I had a friends wife hit me up for a trip to Europe her singing group was going on. He has 10 times the net worth of me. I get panhandled by the womens softball team for sponsorship---I say sure if you will pay for the gas for my motorhome on my vacation... Kids are going to Spain for summer vaction and want me to help sponsor them??? I had to work summer vacation when I was in high school to save for college---I still have to work summer vacation.

Bike Web Guy profile image

Bike Web Guy  says:
2 months ago

the Girl Scout Organization is the worst. Did you see the show on 20-20 with the headquarters of the girl Scouts on Wall Street? It is plusher than a house of ill repute, Huge offices and the locals get like 2 cents off a box of cookies. The cookie profit is Squandered on the big wigs in the operation. The Boy Scouts is just the opposite. Almost all the profit goes to the local Boy Scout Troop.---

tadoscoppernicus profile image

tadoscoppernicus  says:
2 months ago

LOL. I am from Philippines which is one of the third world country but I haven't seen and experienced anything like this before. Maybe our kids expected that our people don't have those washingtons $$$$.lmao!

Kim Cantrell profile image

Kim Cantrell  says:
2 months ago

1less, go whine elsewhere. Majority rules on this one! lol

tadoscoppernicus profile image

tadoscoppernicus  says:
2 months ago

By the way which side I would go since this is an issue that I haven't experience. I even don't know how it feels to become like you or like those girls scouts. Though I am not against those fundraisers if it's for a good cause. Since everybody is going against 1less then I'll go with him/her. LOL

djtphn1 profile image

djtphn1  says:
2 months ago

Wow, you sound very angry. Are you serious!!! In my opinion, kids who are trying to get support for their team activities should be applauded. That they are not stealing your wallet or hitting you up for money for their crack habit is really a good thing. Furthermore, you should be happy that the kids who are spending time washing your car (because you are too lazy to do it yourself) for a few bucks are not out robbing your house. Maybe if you pulled your head out you would see the light!!!

1lessthantomorrow  says:
2 months ago

I'm just surprised that three attractive women have posted comments without funnebone hitting on them

jennydecki  says:
2 months ago

Sales is a great skill, but that's not what these organizations are doing with the fundraisers. They just teach kids to go door to door or stand outside of some store and beg for money, plain and simple. Seriously, who wants a kid with the skill of begging? I hope my kids don't need to know how to be l33t beggars as adults LOL

Can we also outlaw all the parents who bring those boxes of candy bars and sign up forms to the workplace? I don't expect other people to give a rat's ass about my kids or what they do on a daily basis...why do other people think I should care about their kids? I mean, I saw a box at my OBs office a few weeks ago. It's not far to stick all that candy in front of the pregnant chicks. It's dirty pool!

I just tell them the truth, "I don't like chocolate." As for the Girl Scouts - I give the standard, "I already ordered this year." I'd rather be a liar than contribute to the begging skills of America's youth :)

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

I can tell that DJTP is mother of nopt only these type of annoying kids, but criminals too.

The girl scout scam is the worst...a recent news story told ofa girl who sold 17,328 boxes of cookies herself and her whole troop got $21,000 for a trip. First, cookies are like 4$ a box. Just her cookies alone brought in 68k.

So maybe the girlscouts can dpnate the money to a worthy cause...like fat girl cheerleader camp or this idiots walk to cure some disease

http://hubpages.com/hub/Medical-Research-Funraiser

Constant Walker profile image

Constant Walker  says:
2 months ago

Funnebone, Francetales is an American living in France. I think what he was trying to say, in his typically untactful way, is that where he lives taxes that are collected for schools, social programs, roadway maintainance, etc, are actually USED for those things. Unlike here (at least in Oregon), where we vote in tax hikes and OK state lotteries to fund these same type of programs only to have said money vanish in the breeze, leaving our students to panhandle for the funds which were stolen from them so they can learn to play an instrument, be on the cheerleading squad, play sports, participate in the Science Fair, etc.

tbelgard profile image

tbelgard  says:
2 months ago

Damn harsh and damn funny!

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove  says:
2 months ago

Well, funnebone, another wow! I always like your humor and sarcasm.

Now here's from my point of view, having read all the comments.

I hate being accosted at the WaWa or 711 by a bunch of girl scouts or soccer team moms or veterans. But I give to them all.

I am a girl scout, my daughter is a girl scout, and girl scouting gave both of us an enourmous education we wouldn't get any other way.

We learned how to ride and care for horses, we learned backwoods skills and how to survive in the wilderness, we learned rafting, boating, chicken raising, and even more, we learned about leadership and team relationships. We learned how to respect each other, despite our differences. Do our girls learn this in public schools?

Who pays for this learning? Not our tax dollars. And GS membership dues cover such a small portion. GS is all about community, and the dollars have to come from there.

I eagerly look forward to cookie sales (no matter where they are in the early winter..offices, stores, door-to-door, and even the WaWa). I buy cookies for my mother, for my daughter, and for friends, and they buy cookies for me. We buy enough cookies to put in the freezer for the autumn months. The three of us and our friends easily spend at least a couple hundred dollars at this time of year to support the GS. And I encourage everyone I know to do this.

What is panhandling? That's begging for money when you have nothing to put forward for what you get. GS is not doing that. The money they earn (even though it's pennies on a dollar) goes to the future, where other girls grow up to learn the life skills they would learn no other way.

I'm really glad you wrote this hub. You engaged a lot of people into talking about what they think about today's fundraiser mentality. If it were not for fundraisers, let's see, what would be lost? Girl Scouts, for one. Regional and national competitions for bands, drill teams, and cheerleaders. Not to mention our youth's orchestra and choir competitions, for which there is no public funding, and from which our children learn excellence nationally and internationally.

That's just the tip of the iceberg.

One other thought. I have no children in school, but I am happy to pay my school taxes based on my real estate. Any help I can give to the generations coming up is fine with me. They are going to be paying my social security and paving the way for their own great grandchildren.

Agro Donkey  says:
2 months ago

Very funny hub. Keep it up and I'm looking forward to your next hub.

compu-smart profile image

compu-smart  says:
2 months ago

Great hub Funnebone!! very amusing and title and great comments too;)

BIG Mike profile image

BIG Mike  says:
2 months ago

Hysterical hub and a great title - I'm swiping that dude!

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Thanks comp and mike....Tshirts will be coming out in the fall :" If you ain't my baby, you ain't my problem"

Srh233  says:
2 months ago

Great :)

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Thank you!

tom z profile image

tom z  says:
2 months ago

what a great rant! have you ever considered a career in talk radio? you would plan each hour carefully to begin with a 10-minute rant on one subject, that would jam the station's phone lines, so you could happily take calls for the rest of the hour. i'm serious (and a lifelong radio guy).

tom z

esocial profile image

esocial  says:
2 months ago

Love your writing style! And hey here, these people get to go out into the middle of high traffic intersections to bug drivers - -nearly causing wrecks in the process. Ugh!

Yep, hi-five, dude :)

Kelley Eidem profile image

Kelley Eidem  says:
2 months ago

Oh, so that was you who has been sleeping with my wife. I was wondering how we got all those red headed freckled kids.

Please send me five bucks and we'll call it even.

Kelley Eidem

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

thanks esocial..i didnt even address the people in the streets..perhaps that will be my new hub!

Kelley , I was going to buy you rbook but now that I've learned I have all of these kids to pay for , or rather run from, I need all the money I have.

ZeroTolerance  says:
2 months ago

Hey, all you crazy-ass Girl Scouts: Thanks for making millions of dollars for the company that makes those cookies you push! You bust your asses to get pennies while the bakery makes millions. What an excellent economic model!

I'm going to start my own manufacturing company and get the Girl Scouts to push my products, too!! Then I can vacation on the Riviera while all you Girl Scouts are being a pain in the ass to everyone in front of Wally World! Sell, sell, sell, 'cause the more you sell, the more you buy from my company! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Sally's Trove, nice try to get us to believe the claptrap. My daughter wasn't a Girl Scout, so I suppose she's inferior as an adult? Piss off!

Nothing like getting rich by pimping the little girls...you whore adults should be ashamed of yourselves.

kay king  says:
2 months ago

Loved it! Worst are the mothers who bring order forms to work and ask everyone to "help the kids"! Gee - let's teach children not to do anything for themselves!

Nice to see someone tell it like many of us see it.

The only kid I've donated to in the past year was an 8 yr old neighborhood boy whose bicycle was stolen (he forgot to put it away as he was supposed to). His parents told him he had to raise 1/2 of the money for a new bike - so he spent a day painting "art pictures" and went door to door selling them. What a cool kid!

The pictures were horrible - but he understood the difference between selling something and panhandling - so I bought two.

Yup - he got a new bike!

kay

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

see, now i would buy art pictures and stolen bikes from kids, but I am not ust going to hand over my money without some trick or product.

BrianD  says:
2 months ago

I laughed. It's kind of how I feel seeing this ALL the time in front of every grocery store and mall in the city.

Going on these "competitions" is nothing more than a glorified vacation. 3-7 day trips so they go march in a parade for 2 hours or something pointless like that.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

yes, the whole " its for the children" thing is old news....its for the parents

PLM profile image

PLM  says:
2 months ago

As 1loserfortomorrow put it..."You can be selfish or shortsighted and even downright mean. Or, you can be generous, kind, and have foresight by helping a kid do what kids do.....enter our way into the grown up world of commerce and experience. After all, I'm just selling cookies to go to the Zoo. So, buy one less six pack...one fewer Hustler magazine....one less pack of cigarettes and throw a kid three bucks you cheap bastard."...

whatever you say toots!

My Son busted his ass around the house all year long working on several projects on my estate and he learned the value of hard work and I'm betting his pay, that he learned to respect the value of hard work as he entered the "grown up world of commerce and experience". In addition to that he learned a lot of valuable "experience" and skills doing construction and engineering work most kids his age are unfortunate to learn. Hell, he keeps telling me he's going to climb towers like his old man, and I keep saying over my dead body. He'll probably make those words true one day!

One of the more proud moments of mine was made the day a bum was pan handling for "food" by a burger joint we exited and my boy yelled out the truck window, "get a job my friend! then you'll earn that hamburger and it'll taste so much better cuz you worked for it!" Contradicting what you probably think, my son is a heartless bastard like his old man is...
Another proud moment came when, without any of my own suggestions or encouragement, he decided to use the money he earned, and buy a new wheelchair for this boy in the middle school with cerebral palsy that had his stolen from their house. Wasn't as good as his old one, but it replaced the stolen one that some punk probably thought was a funny joke or some tweaker that sold it on ebay for a fix. Regardless, my son went out and got this kid a new one. He didn't even know the kid, he just felt moved enough from the story he was compelled to help.

If you wanna teach your children valuable lessons, put em to work. I don't endorse any fund-raiser for my kids schools when it comes to pan handling products. I do however, donate instead directly to the schools in the purchase of items used directly such as computers and supplies. When I buy it and donate it I KNOW it's being used instead of going into the pocket of some douchebag facilitating the facade of a fund-raiser for the children. My kids learn what they need to about "entering the grown up world" from ME, not a school fund-raiser.

To quote George Carlin I think he put it best ...."it's all bullshit, and it's bad for you!"

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Well put sir....I am sure that the bum asking for food had it coming to him...and if you are in philly i bet lessthan had something to do with the wheelchair missing! Thanks for your support!

jimcrowthers profile image

jimcrowthers  says:
2 months ago

Sorry, I have nothing funny, amusing, mean, insulting, derogatory, vitriolic, or contumacious to add. This post made me laugh out loud during work, however, and I had people looking over at me. They think I'm crazy anyways, so I guess I should be used to them looking at me with their disapproving eyes and shaking their heads.

Great post!

Jim Ames profile image

Jim Ames  says:
2 months ago

Nearly made me bust a gut, I laughed so hard! My dogs even got up to see what was going on. Great content here. Good stuff.

briannerose profile image

briannerose  says:
2 months ago

You may all sit back and laugh at this hub, But it is very unprofessional and very rude. I may not agree or disagree with this hub but at least they are set up at a street corner or the grocery store. They are not camped on your front lawn. I have 2 children and I work my butt off to support them but I am also what they call low income because the rent and bills are higher than what me make. We can not afford to put our son into soccer or hockey or any sport. Hell when he goes to high school we are not sure if we can pay for that. Think about it people. Some children's families can not afford this stuff even when they are working. At least they are not holding you at gun point and stealing every penny you have. I mean how can you act like this. It seems as though you are the children and the children are more adult than you are. GROW UP!!!! Geez people I do not think hub pages is about bashing people. This includes our youth.

magriet profile image

magriet  says:
2 months ago

Funny. In South Africa they cannot do this it's too dangerous, so maybe you should be happy that they still can.

briannerose profile image

briannerose  says:
2 months ago

This is true. ^ If they did this in South Africa they would get killed. I still do not understand why people are complaining about this. lol I guess no on eis truly happy until they get thier way but after they get thier way they are unhappy again and need something new to Complain about.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

I am sorry but we do not use South Africa as our measuring stick for proper social conduct. I am sure that in south Africa if a kid doesn't have the newest playstation game that his parents dont have to hide their head in shame or push the kid out into an intersection to raise cash.

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
2 months ago

Wow Funnebone,,,you've ruined my perception of you. I HAD thought you were funny, but this is just awful. Your choice to use profanity, (which you are free to do of course) is really pathetic. Your attempt at humor in this hub, although others seem to find it funny, is sorely lacking. What happened to the truly witty and funny style you used in your other hubs? Did someone poop in your cereal the day you decided to write this?? I understand you may not like the methods of raising money, as you so angrily pointed out, however, wouldn't your 'passion' (for lack of a better word) about this situation been better spent writing about alternatives for children and their parents? (without the 'F' bombs, thank you).

You struck me as someone whose hubs I enjoyed reading, until this one. As you well know, HubPages, even with its faults, is a wonderful forum for talented, and not so talented writers (which I thought you were).

All this hub left me with is the feeling that you might look into anger management classes or something, and that's sad.

Your disappointed fan,

Trish

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Honestly Trish, most people found humor in this and for that I am proud. I did hve a warning at the begining but it was screwing up my adsense. I have been picked up by other sites because people find this post to be amusing, which is what it was intended to be. I am fully awre that when I wrote as I do that I rish alienating some people and I am comfortable with that.

I find it amusing that you claim to be a fan and then go on to suggest I need nger management and that I am not a talented writer. So I assume you are free to voice your opinion while questioning my right to do the same is allowable in your view.

I write whatever i sin my head at the time. Because subjects are emotional does not render them untouchable. If you are unwilling to take a chance by clicking on my HUB I suggest you don't read them in the future.

You can't censor the Funne!

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
2 months ago

Hi there Funne,,,,

When I read this, the warning wasn't there.  Not that it would have stopped me from reading it.  Although you claim you meant this to be funny, my feeling is that you must really feel this way about this topic, and tried (in your style) to divert the readers from the fact that this practice truly irritates you by your use of sarcastic humor.

I should have clarified my statement about talented and not so talented, because in my mind you fell into the category of talented, and I'm sorry you chose to think I meant the other.

Didn't anyone tell you about 'assuming'?  I wasn't questioning your right to speak your mind, my disappointment came because of the 'style' you used for this particular hub.  I am no better than the next person, and I'm sure, if something struck a nerve with me, you would definitely see another side to my 'style'.  I just choose to hold my writing to a higher standard, without the profanity.  And before you read into that statement, by no means am I a prude, and can you believe it?  I use some of that profanity myself.  I just felt this wasn't the place to do it.

Your point about not clicking on one of your hubs is well taken.  I have clicked on other hubs, that, after reading a few sentences, just clicked them off for various reasons.  I chose to read your entire hub because I KNOW you are a good writer, and however, the more I read I just kept saying to myself, wow,,,,where did this come from? 

So, have you lost me as a fan? (not that it would matter much to you, I think) no, you haven't.  I'm stronger than you think LOL,,I do look forward to reading bigger and better things from you.  And, as far as 'emotional' making something 'untouchable'? I don't think that for a minute.  I would just say, tread with caution :)

PS:  Your statement that 'you can't censor Funne',,,,,well yes I can, by NOT reading your hubs as you suggested LOL

Remember Funne,,,,,,bigger and better, ok!

Trish

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

I,ve noted your opinion in your file.

Keep a look out for my upcoming works: DIU laws make me want to drink, Bye Bye baby boomers and more

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
2 months ago

Hmmmmmmmm,,,,,,sounds like two more 'controversial' topics,,,,,,,can't wait to see how you handle those LOL,,,,,

I'll be on the lookout!  I will say this, if nothing else, your choices are thought provoking, which I'm sure is your intent :)

PS: are these REALLY your views, or do you purposely choose an opposing view (to the majority) to spark a lively debate? Just curious,,

Till next hub,

Trish

Misha profile image

Misha  says:
2 months ago

The nation of beggars. That is probably what irks me most in US. What do you want from kids when local police station at least once a year calls me and asks for money? Let alone firefighters collecting donations at crossroads...

They all feel it is perfectly normal to do so...

Lissie profile image

Lissie  says:
2 months ago

I grew up with a single parent on a benefit long before it was fashionable. Did I join the girl guides (as we call them) nope: Mum couldn't afford the uniform which I would have grown out of anyway (they were quite elaborate those days). Did I grow up bitter and twisted because I couldnt go on a sailing trip adventure when I was 16 because she couldnt afford the coss? No I didn't even ask her : I knew the state of our finances: we had a roof over our head and enough food but not enough for luxuries - and I m sorry but marching bands, dance classes, scoutrs are not necessities :they are nice to haves : and as mum always said I could alwasy pay for it when I was older and got a job. And no Iwas never allowed to work while Iwas at school: school was 2 important.

A fucking good hub - well done!

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Thanks....so far 63 for...2 against........

PLM profile image

PLM  says:
2 months ago

You know I'll have to add my two cents here again Funnebone. The feedback you get with those offended I assume missed the point. I don't assume to even know what your intention even was, but what I personally got from this hub was the sarcastic nature and the intent at a humorous situation that ironically has been frustrating millions. It was a damn good hub imo and a damn funny one at that.

To quote George Carlin again (as I often do) "...people say I'm cynical, but all a cynic is really, is a disapointed realist.."

And how true is that. We are capable of so much more as a society and nation, but those of us that find humor in things of this nature and the sarcasm to point out the real issues are just disapointed realists

mr headies 420  says:
2 months ago

i was so high when i read this....absolutly fucking hilarious!!!!!!

briannerose profile image

briannerose  says:
2 months ago

You know this is not funny hey one question DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN??????????? Try having a few.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Hey one answer...no I do not...and why do you feel that because you had sex one night or several nights that make you a higher authority on anything?....Yoou try to rip me not only in my own HUB but on several others also and why...because I said something you didn't like. Because you have children and are poor makes me no more responsible or concerned with how you feel or what you say than you are with my thoughts or emotions. 90% of the people who commented found this hub to not only be enjoyable but also diplay an element of truth. You don't have to like it but understand one thing, people are as selfish and self centered as you are...they are concerned about their own lifes just as much as you are about yours. If you aren't able to financially afford your kids becauswe you piss your money way on tattoos and purple hair dye, it isnt my problem. If find that your children are reading things on HUB pages that they shouldn't, pay attention to what they are doing instead of chatizing me about what I write. You didn't spaw me, raise your own kids, as best you can and stay out of my way.

briannerose profile image

briannerose  says:
2 months ago

Well unless you have children you should not bash them, also my children can not read yet. I had my tattoos done before I had children and I am not self centered as you may say. I raise my children and I work hard. Tell me something if you make a comment on someon'e hub usally they do not bash you if you have a negative comment. Some one makes a negative comment about your hub and you cry like a 2 year old that is having a tempertantrum. I understand you are closed minded but think of this. You are walking to the store and a guy comes up to you at gun point and says he is gonna shoot you if you do not give him your wallet. What are you gonna do?? At least these children and their families are doing something other than stealing or threatening your life. I understand that you do not like children just from what I have read and this is the kind of thing that bothers me about this hub. I have read plenty of other hubs that you wrote but this one is far the worst one you have written. I disagree with how you expressed your views. I know some people agree with what you say and some people don't. I understand that you think you are funny all the time but your not always funny. I respect you as a person but as a serious writer it is hard to respect that. And by the way my hair is red and it is not dye. I did not say I was poor either I just made the comment that I work my but off but with the rising costs it is harder to put my child into soccer or hockey. If you ever had to worry about anyone but yourself you would understand this. As far as ripping you well you deserve it. You are ripping on children that can not even defend themselves. I am just really sorry that you feel that way and that maybe you have had a rough child hood. I hope that soon you will figure out what life is really about. If you don't than I guess you will be alone in this world. That is really sad.

Misha profile image

Misha  says:
2 months ago

Brianne,

I have kids. In fact my older one is 25 already. And I agree to funnebone - begging for money is how Americans raise their children in general.

My middle one just started to go to school. And here we go - fundrising after fundrising. Rise the f***g tuition and I'll pay it, but don't teach my kids that begging is OK!

I understand that you were raised as a beggar and you don't feel any shame in this. But that does not change the fact that begging is considered a shameful activity by the most of the World population.

Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer  says:
2 months ago

Brianne: I take it you are not a fan of such comics as George Carlin?

It is humour... take it as that.

And, to take it seriously, many parents do not like the fact that their children have to raise money that way. Some people have commented here to that effect.

And, no I don't have children. I do buy a box of Girl Guide Cookies every year because I like them, not because I am being guilted into buyng a box. And I don't give money to school kids for trips...I already pay school taxes.

Funnebone: your hubs make me laugh out loud.

briannerose profile image

briannerose  says:
2 months ago

Misha, I was raised in a hard working family by the way. If you feel there is humor in this hub than you are sadly mistaken I have read most of funnebone's hubs this one I did not find that funny that is my oppinion though.

Misha profile image

Misha  says:
2 months ago

I believe you were. I don't think it changes anything, though...

And I don't think there is anything sad about me finding something humorous when you are not. People are different.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

She is harder to get rid of than genital warts and a bit more annoying

briannerose profile image

briannerose  says:
2 months ago

Hey funnebone, Did you notice something was missing??? Misha that is your oppinion, everyone is entitled to their oppinions. That is right people are different so why is it that you look down on people who do not think like you?

SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie  says:
2 months ago

Funnebone your hub is very humorous and I want to say I agree that Girl Scout cookies are way overpriced.  It was impossible to walk past the front entrance of Walmart without the adults screaming at you with the kids looking on, or at least where I shopped it was.  One time the parents were so bossy and they told their kids "See I am doing all the work for you,"  which I thought was an interesting for them to admit since this was a fundraiser for their children.  I love Girl Scout cookies, but I think they could tone down their sales tactics in front of Walmart and other stores. 

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Briannerose did you not just post a Hub about Ipods?...how can you afford an Ipod and to download music but you can not afford to send your kids to school with the equipment that is required?....

Thank you sweetie....and I agree that the cookies are way too much but those cocnut ones are good...

SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie  says:
2 months ago

I love the thin mints myself ;)

amy jane profile image

amy jane  says:
2 months ago

Hi funnebone, I thought I had already commented on this hub! It is hilarious! :) So sorry you have had to take so much (unjustified) heat for it. I hope "she" leaves you alone now. Keep writing, my friend!

SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie  says:
2 months ago

Also, there is a delete button and I would just delete those offensive messages.  I mean I would not do that all the time, so I do not think it would be a big deal if you delete these offensive ones. I left a very nice message for someone the other day and they deleted it LOL.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Thank you Amy and Sweet, I actually want to thank her because without her stalking diatribes I would never have gotten all of the attention from you ladies....sometimes being the kid getting picked on has its rewards!

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Sweet her viewpoint actually makes my point even funnier. How great is it to see someone actually say " at least they aren't robbing you" as if that is ever a justification for anything.

SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie  says:
2 months ago

Keep up the good fight Funnebone.

SunSeven profile image

SunSeven  says:
2 months ago

You are lucky funnebone. There are people hellbent on inspiring you. I am jealous! :)

Best Regards

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

Sun I just used one of your post links on craigslist so you should see some traffic soon I hope

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

If you really need some inspiration I can send you some pictures of me dressed in leotards....Don't know what would come out of it but it would give me a cheap thrill.

Misha profile image

Misha  says:
2 months ago

ROFL

Seabastian profile image

Seabastian  says:
2 months ago

Your hub reminds me of a shocking/funny experiece I had about 12 years ago. I was running for county commissioner (I was not elected-thank God the voters spared me the boredom and frustration of having to attend four years of meetings) and I was out shaking hands and meeting people.

I was talking to a couple of older ladies and one of them blurted out "Don't tell me what you are doing for the children F*#% the children,you politicians always claim you are doing it for the children when you are holding your hands out for more taxes." I think I was able to persuade her that was not me but I can understand why she felt that way.

I always buy when children are out trying to raise money-whether a lemonade stand,car wash or girl scout cookies. I like the idea that they are motivated enough to at least do something to get what they want. It always seems to be a much better idea than having to contribute to the criminal extortions that so many politicians perpetuate in the name of children.

bontegro profile image

bontegro  says:
2 months ago

Yeah and fuck a pta meeting within the schools it's a bunch of bull. And besides , if I just come from the car wash don't offer to wash my windows sqeegie kids , and no! I don't want your hot ass water you're selling. I feel that's embarrasing for a child especially when their parents are on crack , then the kids feeling hungry , or their fat ass mother won't feed their ass.

funnebone profile image

funnebone  says:
2 months ago

You two are exactly the type I need for my new bumper sticker program " F your kid "

Please see my other peeve here

http://hubpages.com/hub/Medical-Research-Funraiser

mulder profile image

mulder  says:
2 months ago

Great hub mate well said .

Free Car Quotes  says:
6 days ago

Great Hub you have here :) please read my new hub about getting free online car quotes...

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