If Life is a Stage, What am I Doing in the Wings?
72I had an epiphany the other day. Not entirely original since the Bard beat me to it when he said ‘All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players…’ You can rely on Shakespeare and other great men and women to have thought of everything before you get around to it, but that doesn’t discount your own eureka moments.
So it suddenly occurred to me that we go through life playing so many different roles, it’s a wonder we don’t lose our real selves in the bargain. At every stage of our life, with every new encounter, we are putting on an act, saying lines that we may or not have rehearsed, and assuming the appropriate facial expressions and body language. Each role we play has us putting forward a new face to the world; our interactions and behaviour vary with situations and the individuals that people them.
How I behave with family is different from how I act with colleagues and associates; and how I come across to a subordinate is not how I will to a superior. As a daughter I’m playing one role, as a wife another. As a friend I’m probably one person, as a lover entirely another. The lines keep changing, the scenery shifts. Which is the real me?
As a ridiculously shy seven-year-old I had my first exposure to the stage. The class was putting on ‘Give a Dog a Bone’ and the teacher was determined that every child would get a turn on the stage, even if only as an inanimate tree. I was picked to be a lamb and since all I had to do was bleat on cue, the teacher figured it wouldn’t be a very trying role.
There I was covered from neck to toe in a costume made of white towelling material, with a paper mask on my head, looking quite unlike any lamb I have ever seen. I was placed strategically near the wings so if I froze mid-bleat or did something silly I could be yanked offstage before the audience caught on.
It seemed to be going well, my classmates in starring roles displaying surprising talent. I was cowering in my corner and thanking God for sparing me from being picked to be a dancing cake or singing ice cream cone, when suddenly it was my turn to bleat. The teacher watched anxiously as I opened my mouth, and she seemed to be holding her breath. I tried, I really tried to bleat forcefully as I’d been coached but all that emerged was a tiny squeak. It was not one of my finer moments.
No one heard me, not even the fidgety tree next to me. And no one saw my face go red with mortification beneath the uncomfortable mask. I saw the look of resigned disappointment on the teacher’s face however, and vowed that no one was ever going to get me on a stage again. If life was indeed a stage I was quite happy being offstage. I had but one more brush with the stage in school but all I had to do was sit on a chair and pretend to be a queen, vaguely waving a sceptre around. I didn’t have to utter a word, and that suited me fine. I probably wasn’t the first dumb queen in history.
But life isn’t as accommodating as schoolmates and teachers who’ve realised the folly of trying to make an actor out of someone obviously not suited to the spotlight. It pushes you centre stage whether you like it or not. After all if you don’t play the starring role in your own life, who will? So there we are, play acting and role playing our way through our time on this earthly plane. And when it’s time for the final curtain, will we get a glimpse of who we actually are before we have to exit the stage?
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Thank you LM. Life makes you wonder, doesn't it? :)
More than you know.
FP, thanks for reminding me..shoot..I was 8 and had a sax solo. I was good. really good, and I froze. Never went on stage again. Need to call my Therapist. shoot. :).
No need for a therapist Candie, you were just successfully playing the role of a statue! :P
Shucks and here I thought you were a Field Marshal. Is the Garfield avtaar also a role you play, instead of the sacrificial lamb? :P
Never mind FP, we still love you, even if you cannot bleat loud enough.Never did like the loud bleaters, come to think of it.
Hehe, thanks for the reassurance Di. :)
LOLOLOL FP.. where was my mentor? He was s'pose to walk me thru these times.. I coulda been great, I coulda been a contender! I think I'll take up the triangle, next.
That is a cute little piece FP. Great. Reminds me of a time when as a schoolboy, I acted the role of a girl (as a Sikh I qualified eminently because of my long hair - and at that time beardless face). I had to wear a salwar kameez ( a kind of shirt and pajama for those not familiar) and unfortunately the string of the salwar hung below thw shirt. This provoked a laugh as I came on stage. I wondered what was so funny about my entrance and looked down to see the offending string. So nonchalantly, I picked up the shirt and tucked the string in. This ofcourse only ended up in further audience laughter. Probably was the funniest part of the play.
But thanks so much for writing. I think that is a lot of talent you have
What a wonderfully written hub this is! You've painted the picture so well - I can see that sheep and the queen so vividly, and I cannot help but love both, and yet also laugh at their antics ...
You are a great one, Feline. In every role that you play, it is just a small part of the complete and real you that comes to the forefront. :)
I must also add that the advertisement for pictures of Hot Hindi girls just adds sooo much to this content!
Feline, why cannot I see that ad for Hot Hindi girls?
Something has got badly mixed up here. The ads for hot girls are being shown to the ladies, and guys like me are only viewing an ad for some "Way to Happiness.org" website!
Not fair!! :p
Hey I feel discriminated against too
I was supposed to be wee willy winky in my stage debut at three years of age. My mother was a teacher at my school and the announcer for the event. I was taking so long to go on to stage after my name was announced that my mom actually kicked me on stage. After that there was no looking back.
Thank you all for playing such wonderful roles in my life! :)
Candie...I was a dab hand at the triangle...too bad they never took me on the school band! And where are those Hot Hindi girls...only you seem to have the privilege of getting a peek at them! :P
Sabu, I think most of us have had a mortifying experience on stage as kids...it's all part of growing up. Me, I learned my lesson from playing that feeble-voiced lamb! :)
Thank you Jaspal - I can always rely on you for the applause, regardless of how I'm doing on stage! :)
Btw, Jaspal and Sabu, you'll have to check with Candie about those Hot Hindi girls! I can only see ads for lighting fixtures! :P
Good for you cashmere - you sound like you enjoy being on stage! :)
We all have out parts and must do the acts in succession in the wings too. Love the hub
Oh! Thank God I never qualified for dramatizations on stage, but did make it to the stage quite often as a result of being a nerd :-D and my worst moment was when I went on stage to be honored for good conduct, tripped and toppled over the chief guest, the principal and the guys holding the medals and the certificates!
Ahem!
We also serve who only stand and wait - sometimes quivering in our boots!
I'm always impressed by what you write, Prophet, and even more by how you write it. If we lost a fine actor to shyness, we've gained a top-notch writer and that's not a bad bargain in anybody's book.
Speaking of books, I want to see yours, with this very title, on Amazon double-quick. It will be a supernova! (An aside: Why do I keep seeing us at a sidewalk cafe in Paris talking about that very book? Must mean something. Hmmm....)
Oh, and just for statistics' sake, I'm seeing ads for acting schools!
What a great piece! and so very true. And it also made me think of another great line " this above all things to thy known self be true......, I'm sure you know the rest.
Thank you CC...I kind of like being in the wings! :)
Ravin - good conduct? Well, well... :P
Meg, Meg you humble me! :) And a book? I love the idea of sitting around with you at a sidewalk cafe in Paris, but do I really have to work so hard to get there? :P (And now I'm seeing ads for stages! Where are those Hot Hindi girls that Candie claims to have seen?)
"...and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man" - there you go Sandman, Shakespeare again! He got to say all the best lines! Thanks for reading. :)
YOU are so true to yourself and other's. I loved this writing and seems you have things pretty much under control my friend..Proud to be able to enjoy them. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY my dear..:O) Hugs G-Ma
Love it! Didn't want your words to end.
My debut role was as Athena in a sixth-grade play. We made our own costumes. In making my flowing gown and wanting the right kind of ancient Greek drape across the shoulder, I bound my left arm to its side with the fabric so that you couldn't see either that arm or that hand, but I guess this binding drape gave me the rest of the effect I wanted to create. The good news is that the teacher / director / coach never said a word, never humiliated me, never criticized. My classmates took care of that, later.
Who knows what roles we play? One thing I know is true, the inner essence, the character, the soul remain and dominate.
I think we might get that glimpse of who we truly are upon exiting the stage that is life, and use that knowledge for the betterment of the next.
To Bleat or not to Bleat: Loved this!
Thank you G-Ma...maybe in time I'll peer out of the wings and move centre stage yet! :)
ST, perhaps we should look at life as a rehearsal for the grand finale then? Thanks as always for your comments and support.
Thanks GN...to not bleat seems to be the story of my life! :P
Happy Mother's Day to you all!
Very cute hub, FP. Does make you think, doesn't it?
It reminded me of my son's kindergarten play. They were acting out nursery rhymes. Since he was extremely shy, they placed him as the Master in "Baa Baa Black Sheep". All he had to do is stand there and be handed a bag of wool by some poor pathetically dressed sheep who didn't want to be there any more than my son did. LOL
"If you don't play the starring role in your own life, who will?" My screensaver says "Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Taken. I Have The Universe Waiting For Me." I use two to remind me of what's really important and that I'm supported (even if I don't believe it sometimes).
I did allot of character work, deconstruction, awareness work a few years ago. And I use characters in my astrology work. Nice hub.
Thanks KCC...life does make you think indeed. But haven't you heard, it's the meek lambs who will inherit the earth! :P
Jewels, thanks for reading. I guess only we can live out our lives - this is one case where an understudy won't work. :)
You'll always be centrestage whether you like it or not FP - so maybe it's just easier to try and like it :)
It's kind of cosy in the wings Shal!:)
Wonderful hub..just loved it!Sooo..so very true !lol!I am not acting Feline,when I say that I love the way you write.I really laughed out loud at 'You can rely on Shakespeare and other great men and women to have thought of everything before you get around to it'..lol..and the squeaky mousy bleat..lol!Thanks for sharing!
I'm still waiting for that epiphany that will make me "so, that's what I've become". But as yet no such luck, not even a stage to stimulate the thinking! :D
Great Article Feline, Thank you for sharing one of your personal stories. Although, you may never be a famous movie starlett, the writer in you performs wonderful artistic ability on hub pages stage :-)
as someone regularly into theater eing in stage is wonderful. you can be all that you ever wanted to be but couldn't. so dont give up give it another try fp you will love it. next time we need a bleater in our play i will tell them i know just the right person for it- and with experience too !! the quiet queen waving the spectre??? well yes been hit by that spectre a few times- so no comments
Thanks Laila! Don't you think it's true about Shakespeare and gang? It seems sometimes that there's nothing original left to say! :P
Chris, you had the epiphany when you wrote that first short story. So when's the next? :P
Thank you Whikat...don't you just love the blessed anonymity of writing?
Neelesh, you are too kind but I won't deprive another aspiring bleater of the chance at seeking fame!
This is really thought provoking - I guess that when we are feeling at our most comfortable then we are being "ourselves" .... then that raises the question about complacency .... i love it when people get me thinking like this ! Thanks ......
Glad this served some purpose...and thanks for reading, Iphigenia. :)
And for this hub, you get the hub equivalent of the Oscar, FP:-)!
My family calls me the Drama Queen....:-)
Thank you, thank you Rashmi (I'm grinning idiotically)! And Drama Queen eh? Maybe I sould take some lessons from you! :P
I'm perfectly happy working at the concession stand.. Large soda? That will be $3.50. Am I great or what.. Yep Hot Hindi girls, Sorry Jaspal. what can I say? Are there hot hindi males?
Haha, Candie...you know what they say about life handing you lemons...and all that! :P
Love this hub. As one for whom the stage holds no terrors, I cannot realte to that part of things. I could play out my life upon the stage - if for no other reason than it is already scripted. We know how to act and react. For me, the real fear is how adept I am at freezing up and squeaking in real life. Thanks so much
Thank you RedElf. We all have our moments of terror and mine are definitely onstage! :)
Feline: Well, you've sure learned to "bleat" now...and in fine style. Poor Dear, "creeping like snail unwillingly to school." I had the opposite reaction to my first stage experience. I was more like, "Get outta my way! I'm ACTING here!" All of 8 years old. Thanks for a really fun, entertaining read! But then, you always are!
I identified with you here, FP. Can't say that I remember being singled out like that but I didn't like being in front of an audience even as part of a group. Still don't. Needless to say, I'm never invited to do public speaking engagements. That's A-OK with me, I get stage fright so it'd be a pretty short seminar.
Really enjoyed your hub and felt sorry for you as a little lamb. :)
School plays are one thing, but life is another. One cannot allow himself to sit in the wings and not participate in life. I have found that by opening myself to love, it has allowed me to learn how to relax and be myself around others. Because I love myself, and I love others, I am not concerned about people being critical, I am concerned about being myself. I enjoyed your post, it brought back my own elementary school memories.
Your wonderful hub gives a voice to something I have wondered often over the years. I can also identify with the stage fright - after falling 'up' the stairs to accept a couple of awards in my first year at high school, I was so embarrassed that I vowed never the excel in anything ever again! Thank you.
Sorry for the late response - have been out of town for a few days - and thanks for stopping by!
Christoph, I actually enjoyed school except for the times they pushed me onstage - then I wanted to curl up and die!
Herald Daily, I hate being centrestage even if it's among a group of friends - luckily they don't think I'm such an oddball after having known me a while! :P
muley84, you're right of course - one has to live life to the fullest - but does it have to be onstage? :)
TGC, you're obviously a great cook - hope you haven't had to fall up or down stairs to receive accolades for that talent! :)
What an enlightment feline I certainly hope we do get a glimpse before we exit the stage that would be wonderful. :)
It certainly would be...maybe I'll figure out I was not a cat after all! :P
hi feline,
I was in a play one time, don't remember which grade, probably 4th or so. The only reason I remember that I was is because I have a picture of myself standing in a row with my classmates holding up a letter which was part of the word welcome. This also brought to mind a time when I was part of the Quality Assurance team at my job. I was elected to speak in front of approximately 100 people at an off-site luncheon. I had to introduce the recipients of awards as well as tell of their accomplishments. Looking back, I don't know how the hell I did it, because I am normally quiet/shy. I do remember that I was a nervous wreck, but apparently I struggled through it.
When it comes to acting/speaking in front of an audience, I think the biggest drawback for me is I lack self-confidence. I say that because throughout my life, I have had moments of training or supervising groups of people, so apparently, other people perceive qualities in me that I don't.
In any case, this was a hub that tickled some of my old memories. Thanks for sharing.
Hello trish, long time no see! Some of us are just not suited to facing an audience, and not much changes over time. I haven't put it to the test for a while but I'm sure I'll get completely tonguetied if asked to speak to a group of people. So much easier to write, isn't it? :)
hi Feline,
I totally agree. This is so much easier. This way, nobody can see me shaking in my boots or tripping over my tongue :) The best part is I can edit till the cows come home so that I sound like I know what I'm saying.
LOL, how right you are!
nice hub!!
Good thoughts and well put. It was once said, "Life is a stage ...we pick our parts and then the play begins!" I like to believe that this life I am living is the one I picked. It would be a shame if all of this was in-vain and an accident. It is also said ..the reason we pick this part is to teach us a lesson! Hmmmm!!
Thank you for sharing! My best to you!!
Thank you Gin Delloway!
Nothing is in vain, gj...and I'm sure we're all learning something from our time here. Thanks for dropping by. :)
Thanks, Feline Prophet. This brings back memories of my own stage debut. A kindergarten uncovered my gift for memorizing poetry and decided I should perform at the fall concert. I didn't ever suffer from stage fright, but was not then blessed with a loud voice - I am told they had to strain to hear my five-year old whisper.
Hey, Feline! The fact that we play many different roles in life doesn't necessarily mean we lose ourselves along it, it may mean we're multifaceted ;) Then again, it may also mean we're a bunch of hypocrites! Laugh!
Seriously, though, I don't think playing different roles in life (friends, family, work, etc) is bad per se, it's only bad if one doesn't know, or lie to themselves, about the fact that they are role playing.
RedElf, that reminds me of the only time they ever made me recite poetry in front of an audience...the poem was called 'Why the dog's nose is always cold' and I don't think anyone figured out why by the time I finished whispering it! :P
Elena, we can't help but play many different roles...that's the fun of life! :)
Thanks for stopping by, both of you.
Excellent article Feline, I doubt if we would ever be able to get a glimpse of who we actually are before we have to exit the stage? Thats the mystery of life I guess....
I'm sure there are some who manage to do it...the rest of us can only work at it! Thanks for stopping by kiran! :)
Girl! I feel you! Have you read Eckhart Tolle? You might like him a lot- he illuminates the real reason behind our need to play these roles and helps you realize that you are much more free than you may believe. I was also cast as a sheep (!) in a school play when I was young, and I was also deadly shy. I am happy to say that I am a much more confident, happy person now, but shedding roles takes time and a commitment to being yourself. Check out those books if you get a chance- "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth." You might like them a lot ;)
I have never got around to reading Eckhart Tolle, though I keep hearing about him - must look out for the books you mention. I'm happy to say I'm not a shy little lamb any longer either, but I still wouldn't go anywhere near the stage! Thanks for stopping by Sarah! :)
Great read, I think we are here on or off stage playing the role that we---write?
How true GN...here we can be anything we want to be! :)
Well, this certainly is your stage, and you didn't have to bleat. It is a great hub, well written and quite interesting, about your own experience at an earlier time. It's the kind of writing I enjoy myself.
Thank you Jack...and I have learnt to stop bleating over the years! :)
I'm glad I found this while cruising your Hubs trying to get to know you a bit.
Loved it.
Thanks for dropping in DOB! :)
Laughing Mom says:
8 months ago
Your epiphany puts perfect words to a personal struggle, FP.