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...reasons why you should not!
Life is hard. In fact, a friend of mine from boarding school used to say all the time "Life's a bitch, and then you die!" and this is true. Morbid, but true. We all realize this at some point in our lives, but there are some of us that can't get our minds off of the negative things going on in our world. People have been committing suicide ever since God blessed us with the gift of life.
Some religions believe that suicide is a carnal sin. They say if you commit suicide, in your afterlife you will suffer eternal damnation...
...but I'm getting ahead of myself. That is one of the reasons why you should not do it. I will get to that soon enough.
My reason for writing this article is that, I too, have battled depression and I know how overwhelming the feeling of futility can be for others suffering this disease (and it is a disease). However, I'm here to say that THERE IS HOPE!
All those specials on television is not just propaganda by the drug companies to sell you drugs. People are actually out there studying this thing, because it is a common part of the human condition. So, one thing you should do if you're suffering from depression is RESEARCH! Understanding your condition can make you better able to handle it by seeking treatment in the right places...
...but again, I'm getting ahead of myself. I will list actions you should take later on. First, here are some reasons NOT to commit suicide.
1. No matter what your religious leader tells you, 40 virgins are not waiting for you on the other side! I say this in jest, because I did not come here from the other side to warn you, nor have I spoken with anyone from the other side who knows this to be true. However, I do believe that each living creature that was put on this Earth serves a purpose. I don't believe that you enjoy any special luxuries after death (such as kingdoms in the sky or beautiful women that have never been defiled by other men) that can not be achieved here on Earth. Heaven is here on Earth, you just have to either find it, or make it!
2. The best is yet to come. You may be saying to yourself, "I've tried! I did everything right, but everything has gone horribly wrong!" This might seem true now, but when you are depressed, your view tends to become very myopic. You only see a limited scope of the world. Once you are out of your depressed state (and I will suggest some things to do later on) you will begin to see all the signs you missed. It is a fact that our brains can only process a limited amount of information at any given time. With the right treatment you'll be able to see all the wonderful things that you are missing.
3. Things are not as bad as they seem. I think there are wars going on, and bills to pay and people die and the economy is bad and gas prices go up, but think of all the good things that are happening. Babies are being born, amusement parks are there for you to have fun, people are graduating from school and getting married. There are a lot of good things going on in the world all the time. Sometimes, you just have to stop and look!
4. Think about all the people you'll be leaving behind. There are a lot of people in this world who love and care about you. You might not see it now, but they are there. For one, there is your family. Second, your friends. There are people you meet every day, and you might not realize it, but you are touching their lives with every word you speak to them. So, don't leave them alone. The world may just be a little bit brighter for them knowing that you are in it!
5.The best is yet to come! Life gets better as you get older. You won't realize that until you get older, but it does! You understand things more, and you learn from the mistakes of your youth. Doing things becomes easier, you get more priveleges in life. It's great! So, stick around, because the best is yet to come!
Suicide poll
Have you ever considered commiting suicide?
See results without votingWhat to do when you feel the urge to commit suicide...
1. Talk to someone. If you tell a parent, sibling or close friend about your feelings, they may be able to help you deal with your feelings. They can help you to see the light at the end of the tunnel of life. Don't give up. There is hope!
2. See a counselor. A therapist or a psychiatrist can help you sort out the reasons behind your suicidal feelings. You may even be suffering from a disorder that is bringing on this feelings and a psychiatrist could help prescribe medications that will rid you of those urges.
3. Write in a journal. Sometimes it helps to express your feelings in a journal. There are plenty of online resources that allow you to have a journal online. Some of them include livejournal.com, and xanga.com. If you don't want others reading your personal thoughts, you can always take a notebook and pen and chronical your feelings through this troublesome time.
4. Do research. Look for websites on symptoms of depression, or get pamphlets on depression from a psychiatrist's office. Sometimes understanding the disease helps you better look for ways of overcoming it. Websites, brochures, books, and movies are just some of the resources we have out there that can help you better understand and overcome these feelings of depression.
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Comments
Thanks for the suggestions. If you are having overwhelming feelings, and this is leading you to consider suicide- PLEASE talk to someone. If you live in the USA, you can almost always see someone at your local mental health center- usually ran by the "county". I have been through severe depression, and still battle with feelings that are overwhelming in my life. If you are feeling this way, it does not mean you HAVE to carry it out! Making a short term goal like Jeff mentioned is a great idea and can help, I have done that too to get through it. PLEASE do not go thru with anything like this. Even if I do not know you, I will miss you! I hope people read this hub :)
Damn, double post. Sorry! :)
We are what we think we are
If someone think "Life's a bitch, and then you die!" that's what bound to happen
Controlling your mind and emotion is very difficult, but if you can do that, that's the greatest weapon
Choosing Suicide is not a weak thing to do!! We don't all have to live! some people are bored with life! and i know a very close friend who chose to hang herself! She was very ill, mentally!! she is not suffering anymore! She was getting worse and worse!! I hope she is in a better place!\
Having said that,, I know there are many people who have already committed suicide who will be looking down from where ever they are, and thinking!! "I wish i never done than" which is too late!! so if this article can stop just one person from committing suicide, then this hub is priceless!!
Like Ms Sooz said above, PLEASE talk to someone if you are thinking of ending your life! A few years ago one of my best friends committed suicide, and to this day I think to myself, "How did I not know what he was feeling for so long? How did I not see how sad he was?"
I didn't because we never talked about it...we talked about everything but that! Now I don't have my friend to talk to at all.
If this hub keeps just one person from committing suicide it was worth the post. Thanks dutch84
I have been depressed to that degree before and I agree we should control our thoughts as best we can and try to think of postive things. I have found that focusing something either devotional, meditative or just happy helps. Listening to happy tunes or watching funny movies or shows can be helpful. It is important to disrupt the thoughts and mood that you are in when you are feeling depressed.
Well dutch, much of what you say is correct. However, at 62 I can tell you without reservation that life was much better at 22! It's true that values change with age and one develops appreciation for things that may have gone unnoticed in youth. Age also brings reflection which is both good and bad like everything else. But from a purely pragmatic point of view the physical deterioration that comes with age is not particularly pleasant. I’ve kept myself in pretty good shape but there is simply no way to avoid the physical limitations that the years bring. You’d be surprised how disheartening it can be to be unable to clamber up into a tree any time the mood strikes you.
But suicide! Out of the question. I don’t want to miss the end of the world!
You see, I agree with CWB that I would miss out on so much! But there are times when the depression (In my case Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) becomes like a huge wave of negative. It reminds me of that one scene in the disaster flick where the asteroid hits the earth and the daughter and father watch the Tsunami wave coming in. You stand there and wonder, how can I stand up to this? It's too huge?
People told me religion helps, but actually it just makes me feel more useless and depressed. The many conflicting (to me at least) ideas of what or who God is supposed to be overwhelms me and leaves me more confused than ever.
Just the same, I did work on a suicide hot-line when I was working in the hospital - it was a voluntary thing - and I remember that we were supposed to get the caller to commit to meeting someone or going somewhere when they were at the point of suicide. When it worked, an intervention could be worked out (usually, at least) and things might be started to resolve the matter.
Other times people just do things and don't tell anyone. I lost three close friends to suicide and I have no idea if who and what they were simply ceased to exist, or if they are in some other plane of existance.
If there is a heaven and hell, then I fear, from what I have been told by religious people is that people who commit suicide do not get into heaven. There are even some restrictions, as I remember, on whether or not one can be buried in certain graveyards or have church services for the funeral.
I do see counselors and I do work through some of the issues, but right now physically and mentally I am in a precarious state of being, so I am making a lot of short-term goals to keep me from doing anythng I know I would regret later.
I don't think that people without suicidal tendencies can truly relate to people who have them. This would be a great opportunity for those who have made it through such a trial, as yourself, to help others going through the same thing - as you are trying to do. The rest of us need to withhold judgement and do whatever we can when called upon to help, I think.
Its a long term solution to a short term problem
(Sorry, this turned out to be much longer than I had expected.)
I'm a 54 year old empty-nester female. I didn't have a suicidal thought in my body until about 7 years ago. I believe it was brought on by a combination of "ok, the kids are gone, now what?" and hormonal issues. I say "hormonal" because whenever I would start to feel a hot flash come on me, a wave (like our friend above said about the tidal wave) of absolute and total despair and hopelessness would hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. And there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I could do about it. Except try and recognize when it was starting to happen and take some deep breaths and somehow trust it would pass and I'd feel better again.
But the depression started to stick around or show up unannounced. And it got to the point where I thought about it A LOT. Suicide. Because the whole deal wound up being, what was the point of living? After spending countless hours examining life, it seemed there really was no point to it. Even if one believed in God, which I certainly did, or had interesting and "meaningful" things to do in life, which I also did.
The depression had nothing to do with any of that. And, anyway, I've come to a place where I believe having "interesting and meaningful things to do in life" can be an illusion of sorts. "Distracting" us from certain truths about life that we NEED to know. Like what's really going on in our hearts. You know, deep down where no one can see, not even ourselves. Because the bottom line is, unless that stuff comes up and out in the open, our gooses are pretty much cooked.
Today I can honestly say, with an extreme sigh of relief, that season is behind me. Or, at least, almost behind me. It's like I'm just looking at the tip of its tail. Nasty creature that it was.
This might sound extremely bizarre to all of you, but I'm kind of "glad" it happened. In a way. First, if it didn't happen I'd have to wonder if I'd be where I am today. That's first. But, also, I realize depression is a serious issue for many, many people and, to be honest, before it happened to me I didn't have a clue. Growing up, if suicide was ever brought up my mother would say, "The only people who commit suicide are selfish people." And she would go on to describe just how selfish they were. I never believed that, but I still didn't understand it. Or depression, for that matter. Now I do. At least enough.
Thankfully, desperation forced me to get beyond my "depression is a sign of selfishness" issues so I could be gut honest about my feelings. That was vitally important. Because honestly is where it's all, ultimately, at.
So, what is it that I now understand about depression? The main thing I understand is, it's ultimately a FEELING. Maybe set off by thoughts or hormones or what have you. But it winds up being this overwhelming FEELING that just takes you over and you can't do anything about. No matter how many people you talk to about it or how much you try and medicate it... (ie, will you just shut up and be quiet? You're making way too much noise! Just beat it!)
Who wants to live like unfeeling zombies anyway? That's an illusion, too. Eventually the stuff has to be dealt with. I think everybody realizes that. The kicker is, how? How do we deal with "the stuff"?
Granted, this might not be for everybody, but I'm still here. I didn't kill myself. And I'm not depressed anymore. (But, you know, if I had to choose between a depressed or numbed life and killing myself... I don't know. It's only because I wouldn't want family and loved ones to suffer that I'd want to stick around... or because I was afraid of death or the dying process. But, really, what would be the point of living? A depressed or numbed life is NOT a life. Period.)
And I think we all know there are a LOT of people who never come out the other side, no matter how many years they've been on the stuff and no matter how many times they've talked to people. So I knew there had to be another answer. At least for me. So throughout my wilderness experience I continually looked to God. Because I knew deep down, no matter what it looked like, that it was Him and only Him who was going to bring me through. Or else He wouldn't be real.
That's the way I looked at it. And if He wasn't real, then was anything? I mean, if God's not real, does it matter if anything else is? Just little wisps of vapor here today, gone... well, you know. That's where I was at. I KNEW if there was a God, and I believed there was, then He HAD to heal me. That's all there was to it.
Today I can happily say, He is. He's real. He brought me through. I'm stronger and more healed and whole than I've EVER been. But it's been a process. And a big part of the process was that God had to "nicely" show me all sorts of things He knew I needed dealt with. Major stuff. From my past. And isn't that what we all really are for the most part? Products of our past? Got to deal with the past. It's imperative.
And it wasn't just about the things I did or that were done to me, but the way I THOUGHT and FELT about them. And not only that, but how what I thought and felt "played out" in my life and psyche... how it shaped who I was. What I BELIEVED about life, people, myself. Ultimately, what God had to deal with was my perception of TRUTH.
And, to be honest, no therapist is EVER going to be able to bring you down all those roads. Because most of the stuff I'm talking about is too deep. Subconscious. Which is one of the supreme benefits of the medicine I took, which eventually healed me. It can get to those places. Those seldom, if ever, traveled roads. And what was that miracle medicine? (I sure hope I can talk about this here, because I totally get it that it's life and death we're talking about... and because I've actually come into life, my only hope is that my story helps one person out there who's suffering.)
So, anyway, what is the miracle medicine that was able to go to the root and bring me out of that dark, slimy pit? It was Holy Spirit. Please, hear me out. Jesus gave His life, ultimately, so that we can have the Holy Spirit. It's ALL about the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit IS the Life of God. It's the Spirit, and ONLY the Spirit, who gives life. There is no other. That's the bottom line I live by. (I'm the type of person who HAS to have bottom lines.)
The simplicity of it is, if we believe Jesus died for our sins, we can not only be forgiven, but receive a new nature. One like His. A nature that can be filled with Holy Spirit. How awesome is that, eh? That's the simple bottom line and I'm not making it up. ;) I'm not going to say the rest is easy, not by any means, but it is LIFE. And it makes SENSE. And that's what I, for one, desperately needed, and will always need until I take my last breath. For life, first and foremost, to actually BE life (something worth living), and for it to make sense (because that's where the peace is).
So, if anyone is interested in taking the medicine I took, never forget... it's ultimately all about the Holy Spirit... being FILLED with the Spirit. The Bible makes plain how imperative that is for us Earth-dwellers. Be filled with the Spirit, it says! So let's be filled!!
Ok, going over the basics one more time... Jesus died for our sins. We're forgiven (and everyone else on the planet, by the way, even that so and so who did such and such... and, yes, there'll come a time when the Spirit will help you forgive them, too... because we need to be free in order to be alive, and unforgiveness is definitely not freeing... for anybody). Ok, so once you've accepted that and received forgiveness (not only a clean slate but a new nature... ie, born again), it's all just a matter of continual acceptance!
ACCEPT... that God, who IS Father, loves YOU and has provided the REMEDY---Jesus died for YOUR sins. Accept your forgiveness.
ACCEPT... that your "slate" is now clean and you have a NEW NATURE. You're born again! Wow!
ACCEPT... that the Father wants to FILL you with Holy Spirit. Almost t
Ooops, sorry, my post got caught off, here's the rest...
ACCEPT... that the Father wants to FILL you with Holy Spirit. Almost too hard to believe, eh?
Now, just open your heart to Him. Who you are, deep inside. Little Johnny or Susie. Or Peggy or Marcia or Nancy or Brad. Open your heart to God, who IS Spirit. And just give Him permission to come in. "Come on in, Holy Spirit, it's all Yours."Simple as that. Each and every day. ALL day. For the rest of your life. Because it is, after all, life or death. But, besides that, it feels really, really GOOD!
Peace to all. For those who are suffering, I recognize your desperation in sharing something so deep and personal and "icky" (at least that's what most "normal" people think, right?). I pray you would be HEALED and made WHOLE. And that you would ENJOY the life Jesus Christ died and rose for you to enjoy. All the days of your life. In His mighty, all-conquering (the bad stuff) name, amen.
I think I am a woman in a very hot shit. I am married for 15 years and have two kids. Life have been very tough for me when my two kids were young. I have to work, do all the housework, bringing up the kids, taking care of their day to day work, life to me was like a woman working for 3 roles : a maid, a mistress and a tutor. However, I always kept this word in mind which my mum used to say "Nothing is more important that taking care of your kids". This is the word which kept me going and surviving. However, things get worst. My husband is no longer caring, he does not goes out with us, he does not bother about anything and likes to go out with his friends after work. At first, I started to adjust myself and focus my whole life on the kids. Unfortunately as the kids grew older, they started to treat me like shit. They don't help in anything, they only asked me for money when they need and if not they will argue with me or shout and scold me just like my husband. I feel so lonely - it looks like no one even love me. I put all my hope on my kids but they don't treasure me. Life is nothing to me after I met this guy who is younger than me. At first, he really makes me believe what is happiness. I love being with him and he makes me very happy. Unfortunately good things does not last forever. It started to make me beter that he prefers my money than me. However, when we made love - I can feel his love for me. Instead of him showering me with love, I have to help him settle his debt. This results in me owing debts on his behalf since I cleared his, I have also shower him with gifts when we go shopping as he does not have money and he told me frankly. Until 3 days ago, he left for KL and when I tried calling him through his mobile, a lady answered. I was so shocked and in trying to cover for him I told the lady that I have called wrongly. Guess what - my boyfriend started to blame me for answering the call in which I did not know since he told me that he is single and does not have a wife or girlfriend. Life have been so miserable for me since then. He told me that he will explained to me when he returns back to Singapore. However, my heart is so painful as my mind is so confused. I started to worry about him and his wife/girlfriend. I believe he is trying to explain to his wife/girlfriend about our relationship in which I deny through the phone. How silly of me. I got scolded by his wife/girlfriend instead. Now I am eagerly waiting for his return to explain. However, I know there is no explanation. I missed him so much and the pain that I am going through - I just feel like using a knife to poke through my heart so as ti stop that pain. I have to take sleeping pill in order to go to sleep and take relaxant pill to control my mood. At times, I tried to tell myself to look positive like telling myself that he is not good for me, he has no money, he has no time etc so that I feel better. However, when I started to recap all the happy times that we were together I just could not let go. I just pray that someone would knock me out so that my brain will stop thinking of him. I feel so confused and so mad. He is in Malaysia accommpanying his wife/girlfriend and comforting her. However, what about me. I am the real innocent one who got cheated of money, of love and of sex. I got no one to go to and I really feel miserable. Can you imagine if I tell my friend that I am married with a husband and kid and fall in love with a man who has a wife??? What will people think of me. I don't feel guilty of betraying my husband. I think he deserves it as he never treats me well. I always left me alone to tackle all the problems with the kids and my work. He never gives a helping hand in anything. I really feeling very down - trying very hard to persuade myself not to end my life but I just could not stand the pain. Do you know what is the meaning of "living is worst than dying". When I started to think that my boyfriend is in KL, hugging, kissing and maybe having sex with his girlfriend/wife - I just feel like going crazy. Where is he - can't he know that I am fighting the battle all alone. I am a human being - I have been hurt enough but I still cover for him and even got scolded by his wife/girlfriend. I am really such a failure. Someone please help me.
Chef Jeff says:
15 months ago
I am at times suicidal, but I manage to get by. Life is not easy, and to tell you the truth, what I do to not take my life is simply set a goal - it doesn't have to be anything huge - maybe I just want to make it to the end of some TV series I like, or just to see if the leaves fall early.
The goal is just to allow me to get through the moment until something else takes over in my train of thought and allows me to rethink and reconsider the drastic step of "ending it all."
I can't tell you with any certainty that anything better or worse comes after this life. I can only tell you that I will never know what if I could have done better or improved upon by simply staying around.