As my 97-year old grandmother lay dying, my daughter, a social worker, and I stood by her hospital bed.

At the time, Grandmother slued in and out of rational thought.

“What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?” my daughter asked.

Without a moment’s hesitation, my grandmother replied: “Use moisturizer every morning and night!” She then proceeded to demonstrate the correct motions for applying face cream.

Since this same question was posed to fellow Hub Page publishers a couple of days ago, I thought I’d take the opportunity answer this while my mind still works!

Girl Scout Pledge

“To try to do my best” is part of the Girl Scout pledge and still the guidepost for my endeavors. Relationships, work, volunteer projects, research and learning all get my best efforts.

Why? Because I learned early on that despite our desires and best efforts we don’t always succeed. But knowing I faithfully applied my best skills toward a goal leaves me with a feeling of internal satisfaction whether or not the outcome was successful.

I don’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, filled with regret, fearful of putting myself on the line for a new challenge because something I earnestly worked toward 15 years ago didn’t succeed.

My Other Grandmother's Influence

I grew up with my other grandmother. She had an adventurous spirit but she rarely followed the call of opportunity that might have made her life more fulfilling.

She was first victimized by a father who deserted her then later by an emotionally brutal man in her marriage, which ended in divorce after three years. Her physical beauty continued to bring her attention from other men well into her 50s but she couldn’t separate the possibility of a new relationship from the disastrous one she endured in her early 20s.

She couldn’t forgive herself for not doing the things she might have done, like learning more about the man she was about to commit her life to, or standing up for her right to respect when he steamrolled over her feelings.

She spent the last years of her life regretting all the roads she had not taken back when she had both the physical and financial wherewithal.

Her litany of regrets started at a very important period in my life. I was a teenager, filled with the same kind of longings and self-doubts that this grandmother, then in her 60s, had.

My Promise to Myself

I vowed that I would not end up like her. Later, I learned that not every goal I wanted to achieve in my life was possible. That’s when I remembered the Girl Scout pledge I had learned as a child.

Some of the goals I attained turned out not to be that rewarding. Others that I failed at left me disappointed, but I was always willing to try again, because I knew that I had done my best, given the circumstances.

After all, if I’ve done my “homework” prior to taking on a project or even a relationship, and I’ve applied my best efforts toward fulfillment of that goal, I’m not burdened with the self-blame and fear that crippled the grandmother I grew up with.

How My Self-Promise Works for Me... Or Anyone

That habit of performing to the best of my ability leaves me with the internal self-reward: “I did my best” -- no matter how that particular endeavor ended.

And here’s another confession for you: I’m usually attracted to most endeavors by the process of creation rather than the promise of the outcome.

Thus, I’ve lived and continue to live a very full life enjoying what I do and the people who share it.