Wow I can’t believe that it has been 4 weeks. Four whole weeks since I laid on that stretcher and had my insides twisted and reversed to what they call the “RNY” term for those who have had the gastric bypass surgery. Now if you want all the medical terminology and procedure stuff, you barking up the wrong intestine...ooops, I mean tree. I’m here to vent and rant on my life as a self proclaimed “gastric bypass groupie”. Now With the Google tool, you can find out the good and the bad and the ugly that society has been saying…but you can’t find out the personal life of a woman who just living it up…watching her life or shall I say pounds dwindle down….HA!! Now can ya?

Anyway by now you know what the gastric bypass is (I know you googled or talked to someone). Well first the reason I say I am a groupie because daily I sit and watch…watch…and watch how this procedure has changed my life. Totally changed my life. I can’t say this was the route I normally would have taken, but sitting in the doctor’s office and nearly hitting 300 pounds by a teaspoon of salt and being only 5’3”: with even my mother’s, sister’s and grandmothers high heel shoes on you choose this route. Add onto the comment that I was cutting off 10-15 years of my life with my weight. I had developed sleep apnea, fatigue, depression and all those little devils that come with being overweight, life, bad marriages and such….well when it boils down to it, I let all the prior issues go and focused on my new life and my kids. So needless to say I went through the process and had the surgery.

Sooo...  this My Life Now!

Now don’t get me wrong. I had an awesome team of doctors who had me go through a program and educated me on the procedure and the life changes that would follow. I would have to take Flintstone vitamins, Calcium Citrate and B12 as religiously as a monk praying. Also I would have to supplement my protein by drinking protein powder (which is a journey in taste land in itself). Lets not forget the wonderful exercise for 30-40 minutes. Oh it was fun saying, “Sureeeeeeeeeee..I can do that!” when you sitting in an office and visualizing the body of Beyonce or Hallee Berry (a woman can fantasize..ahahha)…but actually doing it…whewwwwwwwww Nelly..it’s a job..but a must. Did I add your stomach goes from being the size of a liter soda to a cap on top of Nyquil? Interesting…….

Oh yes, the tiny thing we call a “pouch” that is now my stomach rules my life. Oh the poach…the poach…How I love and loft thee. Never again will I eat 12 fried shrimp and desire more. My lunch is now 3 large shrimp that are bitten and eaten slowly than a tortoise swimming the Atlantic Ocean. Its almost as though it has to be chewed so much, you forget food on your tongue..ahahahha..Oh my. And never again can I eat, sip, eat and sip..or..that nasty friend, the toilet seat will be my friend…Oooh the poach..the poach…how I love/loft thee!

 So really now this my life after 4 weeks of becoming a groupie. I take my vitamin supplements and have the thrill of hampering Calcium Citrate tablets til they become powdered down like the shrimp I will be chewing. I take the Flintstone vitamin and think I’m having a relapse in childhood. I get my blender and throw the protein powder with a dab of sugar free Vanilla in it and I’m on a roll. Oh gotta eat those three meals or you will be “grazing…a big no ..no..”OH yeah..NO GRAZING ALLOW….(doesn’t that sound soo cow-y?) Well it means you eating between meals and snacking and that’s a no..no…((hand smack)).

Anyway its walking 2 miles every other day and then trying not to be become a “scale ho”…excuse the new foreign language for weightloss..but I got that term from a fellow..Gastric patient.. Yanno a scale ho is what become of the newbies to the surgery when we ..Yanno…get on that scale…4x a day to see if we lost a pound and gointo major hysterics when the scale is cheating us of weight loss….ahahhah..yessssssssss..Life changes so much.

 Its so much more to tell, but I have to finish up this Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade that I have poured my Calcium and other med in before bed. Gotta get those fluids in or you will be once again friends with the toilet..because ummmmm…things will be backed up…ewwwwwwwwwww…gotta drink..

Well its sooo much more to this wonderful life of Gastric Greatness. I may write more…but who knows. Groupie today…gone tomorrow..the pounds that is.

 Take care.

Livi Stith

Christian Relationship Minister/Author

Gastric Groupie!