I loved them. I would stare at them in awe, mouth open, tongue dangling. I would hold them, caress them, fondle them, just enjoy how they felt in my hands.

I would wake up early in the morning, eagerly anticipating my chance to play with them. I would have to play with them just once more before I went to bed. It was never enough. I was a fiend.

Even now, I will sometimes daydream about when, at the touch of a button on my palm pilot/phone/calendar/ television remote control (no joke, there is a program you can download to turn your smartphone into a TV remote control)/nuclear submarine keyless entry device, I could--at the same time, mind you--carry on a conversation with my wife, check the sports scores, schedule a flight to anywhere in the world, read a restaurant review, and know the weather forecast in up to 12 major cities on any of 6 continents (luckily, I never needed to know the weather forecast in Antarctica).

Oh, I can still do all of those things now, it's just not new anymore. Let's see...."Honey, I'll be home around 5:00", Cowboys-6; Eagles-10, #249 from Abilene to Houston departs at 7:19 a.m., "the lobster tail at Red Lobster lacked peak-season freshness...", "the forecast in Antarctica calls for freezing temperatures with a 49% chance of snow..." (what can I say, technology is better, I can get the forecast in Antarctica now).

Suffice it to say, as with any addiction, I have developed such a tolerance to the "coolness" of new gadgets, that I didn't even want an iphone, still don't (go ahead, try me; send me one, I bet I won't like it).

SOOOOO over the gadgetry addiction am I, that I am about ready to downsize my current smartphone. Who needs the weather forecast for Antarctica anyway(?), 6 continents is plenty. And the whole nuclear submarine keyless entry thing, with fuel prices these days, who needs it? Wait, nuclear submarine...fuel..., scratch that...I've got no place to park it, my submarine dock is way too small; and the whole wake thing really ticks off the neighbors.

I think what I really need instead to show that I don't need all of these gadgets is a simple, sleek, slightly stylish phone. A simple phone, that's it. One phone to replace the complex, feature packed, all inclusive, concierge-in-a-pocket phone that I have.

Just a simple phone is all. Of course, one that plays music to replace my mp3 player, that I can use to check my email so I don't have to carry around my laptop, that has digital video playback so I can get rid of my portable DVD player, that has a sound recorder so I can dump my voice recorder, that has a good camera so I can chunck my digital camera, and, most of all, that has Tetris.

See, what self-respecting gadget-junkie would forego 724 gadgets for one, simple, sleek and slightly stylish phone.

RECOVERY COMPLETE!!!!!