It was late, really late, in my lifetime: I was 82 years old before I decided that I wanted to become a rockstar. That's why I knew it was a bad idea. Nothing could wait this long before reaching my drug-addled brain. Nothing could have possibly taken this long to stew and simmer in all the recurring seasons of my old ass life. But there it was: an axe, ready to be lifted and raised to nirvana. I didn't care how old I was, I had to shred it, whether or not my chiropractor would allow it. All I knew from my childhood was Rush songs - the good ol' shit. Not that new fangled, uninspired mish-mash. We're talking classics. Like, uh... well, you wouldn't know em if they bit you in the ass with a star-shaped bass guitar.

So my buddy Shroper and I, yeah, that's his real name. He's in his 50's. He got me a nice set of working amps, and a drummer, who, well - nobody knows his name, but apparently he's into that fake wrestling shit. Not something I'm a fan of. Well anyway so we got to playing and it turns out I'm a real natural. At least that's what they tell me. A natural, huh? Way to puff up an old man's ego. Speaking of puffing, he keeps requesting that we play Puff the magic dragon, but I won't touch that hippy shit with my dingo cane. It's goddamn undeniable the stuff they put in that weed pipe. Not sure what it does, but it makes me sick whenever I use it. It's like smoking on a cane but the shit they put in there is so strong. Good lord. It's making me terrified just thinking about it. I'll stick to my tobacco, thank you.

Well, it's a strong sensation knowing that you're on top of the world in terms of age, and jamming with the best of em. You can't get that feeling anywhere else, I'll tell you. It's like having whiskey slide down your throat on a cool summers evening, while your wife sits in the adjacent chair, looking out into the endless ocean.

I've lived most of my life sitting down, watching things go by, but I wanted to take the time to show off a bit. Make use of my guitar licking.

My buddy's hollering at me now, and he wants to know whether I will come down to his garage and jam with him, so I'll be off now. That's just a glimpse of my life I reckon. Maybe I can get my friend to upload some of those music tracks on here.