When I started parenting 18 years and 7 children ago I was just an 18 year old child myself. I had high expectations about how I was going to raise my perfect children with perfect parenting. Because I knew all the mistakes my parents made and I wasn't going to make them.

We decided we were not going to shelter our children from the world. If they climb up high, they could fall down, and that was just a fact of life. So we did not hover over them and protect them from falling. Not that we weren't there for real protection, though. Some of that philosophy paid off well. Our children slept in our bed and they soon learned where the edge of the bed was and falling out was not a problem. It also made our children tough, too tough, some would say. One year our third child, in an attempt to show how brave he is, or to show of to girls, who really knows, he decided to skateboard off the roof. Yes, I am serious. He not only skateboarded off a roof, he did it off the roof of our church. He made it, but on landing he ended up cracking his tailbone. In an effort to continue our reality based parenting, we did not excuse him from gym class. When the school nurse questioned me, I said that I do not excuse stupidity. And that was the end of that.

I have recently learned, after the first 5 children, that there are more lessons to learn in parenting the more children you have. My sixth child had a passion for art, and was so proud of everything she made. One of her first projects was poop. She made poop every day and she was so proud of it! She would take it and paint the crib and bedding and walls and toys with it every single day. No matter what I did, spank her, make her clean it, yell at her, she was still so proud of her work when I would come to get her. She would be smiling and showing her work to me. I eventually decided it was something she was going to have to out grow and I stopped disciplining her for it. I just repeated to myself "This, too, shall pass." every day. And it did pass. Right on to my seventh child! Only he doesn't paint with it, he eats it.

There is no perfect parenting. Sometimes there is nothing that will work. You are going to mess up. But the key is to messing up the right way. When you do mess up, admit it! Tell your child that you are not perfect, you are not always right, and you do not know all the answers, and then apologize. Your child will learn a lot more from your mistakes than from your successes.

We have made a rule of being honest with our children. So, even though we are strong Christians now, and we want our children to be strong Christians, we have had to admit how badly we did things or even still do things. We had to own up to premarital sex and drinking and smoking. We had to own up to disrespectful and disobedient behavior as children. We also told them of the hurts that caused us. They have to make their own mistakes, but they can learn from our honesty.

I really believe my children have learned from our biggest mistakes and the honesty that we shared it with them. Our children are an enourmous source of pride for us. How two people as messed up as we were turned out such amazing children is a testament to imperfect parenting.

I say, don't be perfect, be real. Be ready to admit mistakes and to apologize. Show your children why you were wrong and tell them how you should have acted, and ask them to forgive you. You will have children who love and respect you.

Proverbs 31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

Read more about my crew at Our Seven Qtpies.