Improve Self Esteem

When asked to describe themselves, almost everyone asked will begin to list the things they would like to change, what the feel are their "less desirable qualities." Also, they tend to list the "outside characteristics" focusing on weight issues or any number of things that they do not like about their appearance. These are the traits that most people tend to focus on. It is true that everyone has some negative characteristics. People are not perfect, and as human beings, we all have flaws. But it is important to remember the positive qualities, too, and even learn to list them before the not-so-good ones. It is also important to remember that needing to lose ten pounds or having wrinkles or gray hair does not make us bad people. It is the person inside that matters.

It is not boastful to know, or even to say that we have nice qualities. Everyone has positive traits that they should feel good about and be proud of. Of course, there is no need to shout from the rooftop that we are kind or compassionate or thoughtful or smart, because at that point it becomes arrogance. But it is good to know in our own hearts that we have goodness inside us. There should be a balance between the good traits and the negative ones.

In society much emphasis is placed on self-confidence and self-esteem, but society can give us no help in attaining them. It actually does more to rob us of our self-esteem with the fantasy ads featuring thin, beautiful people with money and perfect lives. But we can only learn to like ourselves by being completely honest when assessing our traits. We must see ourselves as we truly are, human beings with many wonderful qualities and numerous flaws. That's how we are made, and it isn't anything to be ashamed of. Certainly it is good to try to be better, to work on improving our flaws, but we are never going to reach perfection, and that's OK.

To help us focus on the positive, it is a good idea to make a list of our assets. Are we courteous, generous and helpful? Are we good spouses, good parents? Are we loyal, good friends, or good listeners? Do we enjoy helping others? Listing our assets along with our liabilities is the only way to achieve balance in our view of ourselves. If we think about this, and make that list, the next time we are asked to describe ourselves, we can give an accurate description