The world of adult singles can be an amusing, if not deceptive and lonely, place of existence.  The older we get, the more amusing, if not deceptive and lonely, it gets.  If your couples friends include you in their social circle, you’ll find they are constantly feeling sorry for you, drowning you in that sorrow by becoming your personal dating agency.  They set you up on blind dates, preparing you by touting this total stranger’s remarkable good looks, bubbly personality, and striking intellect.  Not mentioned is the dysfunction, the shallowness of the soul, the penchant for interruption, or the hair loss.  

In many instances, your friends have been out of the singles market for years, unaware of how the singles scene has evolved.  Yes, there’s still an active bar scene comparable to those infamous meat markets of the 70‘s and 80‘s.  Yes, there’s still the suggestion from the religious right that she, your perfect match, can be found in the house of god.  Just don’t forget to place your money in the offering bowl.  Yes, there’s still the act of feigned surprise at the dinner party when your friends seat you next to the newest and greatest version of ms. perfect.  Little do they know that after a couple of unsuccessful attempts at matchmaking, they’ve transformed themselves into the matchmakers from hell!

They’ve heard of online dating, but are unfamiliar with its concept: the shenanigans and layers of deceit that its very existence is dependent upon.  If ever there were the desire to look for a diamond in the rough, online dating sites are the perfect place to start.  

Little do your friends know that we now have mind-boggling choices at our disposal to help ensure our success, or ongoing failure, while we search for heaven on earth.  The singles scene now includes matchmaking sites based on race, based on socioeconomic status, based on dancing abilities, based on sexual preference(s), based on employment,  and based on religious beliefs, or non-beliefs, depending upon one’s beliefs.  

 With a bit of keyword research, your matched friends would also know that two of the largest groups of people searching the internet for romance and happiness are the Jewish and christian communities.  For starters, there’s Jewish internet dating and there’s Jewish online dating.  There’s christian singles dating and there’s christian online dating.  Well, catch my drift?  You might want to reconsider that offering bowl donation.  

You have to appreciate the one who’s made up her mind before that first sip of coffee, letting you know in no uncertain terms that “I really don’t think we have much in common.”  Perhaps this should have been mentioned BEFORE I bought your coffee.

Then there’s the one who, less than 5 minutes into the initial meeting, asks how it’s going so far, immediately following that up with “Do you think we have a chance?”  If it’s August in Texas, we have a very good chance at a hundred degree day.

Is her photo accurate?  It’s amazing that in man’s - and woman’s - quest for the consummate technology there exists no photo validation button.  If appearance matters, and who’s to say that in today’s society it doesn’t, make sure you receive an accurate photo beforehand.  Otherwise, you might find yourself opening your front door to disappointment.  If the first date is an hour’s drive on her part to see your new home - see castle comment above - and the arrival of her face isn’t quite what you’d expected, then tough luck, pal.  Do your homework.

There’s even dating software for you techies out there.  It seems like only yesterday when hardware was the prerequisite to a successful third - if not first - date.  Still thinking you want to meet single people?  There’s friendship dating designed to help you through your time(s) of loneliness.  For a little spice, there’s swingers dating.   For you men with an international ache and secret desire, there’s Russian brides dating.  Pay attention to the word brides here.  You’ll quickly eliminate yourself from the singles scene by involving yourself in such a matter.  

Men, if you’re new to on line dating or personal ads and want to have any success at it, there are three things you’ll need to have, just in case you can’t remember:  money, a castle, and hair.  Although the money and castle thing is obvious, there’s an almost godlike reverence if you post that you have hair and actually show up with any on the first date.  That reverence defies description if you’re in possession of a full set.  Evidently, it’s a common thing for men who don’t have any to wish that they did and then post that they do.  Sorry, ladies, I’m at a loss on that one.

Remember, guys, a clean car gets you far.  If you’re feeling lucky on the first date just because she suggests meeting her at a safe place where she’ll park her car and ride with you to the restaurant, well, hold on just a minute.  Make sure your passenger seat is spotless.  Her $400 dress or $200 pair of slacks will not be impressed with your dirty car.  To top it off, you’ll have wasted eighty bucks on her at some high end joint, both of you feeling empty at the end of the meal.  

This one can be tricky.  She knows some of your past, you know some of hers.  Judgements and comparisons are inevitable.  Can you live with it?  Dating friends can also be a blessing, for all the obvious reasons.  You’re already friends, the ice is broken.  She’s confided in you about past dismal dates, so the bar has been set low, with a purpose.  So it seems.  It's your great opportunity.  But remember, screwing up friendships isn't a good idea; the older we get, the fewer, and more precious, they become.

There’s a reason why ...