How to Survive the First Year of Motherhood -- Part III

Things are starting to fall into place and you're even settling into a routine. Granted it's still an unfamiliar routine but that takes time, right? Things may be a little chaotic and unpredictable, what with all the sterilizing and watching the baby and straightening up and feeding the baby and the telephone calls and changing the baby and being cheerful and pleasant and worrying about the baby and you've barely had time to get dressed each morning and you haven't slept in a week...but you're getting the hang of this motherhood thing. Aren't you?

Believe it or not, you really are. You've made it this far and, just think - only another eighteen or so years to go. But lets not get ahead of ourselves. First we have to make it through the rest of this month. The good news is that the steady stream of well-wishers is going to finally slow down a bit and you're finally feeling a little more comfortable in your new role. And, chances are, if your mother (or mother-in-law) has been able to stay with you - bless her, she means well - to help with the baby, she'll probably be about ready to pull up stakes and go back home and you can stop feeling like a ten-year-old. Imagine that - you get to be a grown-up again!

The bad news? Your mother is going back home and you have to be the grown-up again. You'll be fine. After all, she's only a phone call away and you'll find that between friends and neighbors and relatives and grocery store clerks, the supply of advice out there is never-ending. Plus, if you really find yourself at loose ends and everyone seems to be suggesting something different, you could always try something new - something wild and crazy and unexpected - you could always (are you sitting down?) ask your pediatrician. Rumor has it that they know a thing or two about babies.

One of the most frightening things you're going to have to face this month is having to leave the house. It's going to happen. Some things are just inevitable. You may wish that you could just stay in forever, or at least until the baby is ready for college but it just doesn't work that way. Best to get it over with and you're going to. Soon.

Preparation is the key. You have to prepare yourself for the outing. Gone are the days of just hopping in the shower and then jumping into the car and taking off. For at least the first couple of occasions, you might want to start a few hours before you plan to leave. You don't want to feel rushed and you're not going to believe all that's involved in getting yourself and the baby to and through something as simple as a doctor's appointment. You're about to find out, though.

You've got to get dressed. Seems simple enough, doesn't it? Lay out the clothes you plan to wear, then take a shower and wash your hair. Put on a little makeup. Dry and comb your hair. It's as familiar to you as breathing, isn't it? Something you've done almost every day for as long as you can remember, isn't it?

So why is it suddenly so complicated? The baby, of course. That little angel who has spent the better part of the past few weeks sound asleep - and chose the exact moment you stepped into the shower to wake up. You'll call out to him in that sing-song ‘baby-talk' voice that you swore you'd never, ever use (but you've found yourself slipping into more and more lately). You'll peek around the shower curtain for a visual check, just to make sure that he hasn't slid out of his infant carrier or that the cat isn't sitting on his head so that you can reassure yourself that he's fine and so that he can see that you haven't left him alone. It won't help. He's still going to fuss and cry. So you're going to lather up and rinse in record time and come out of the shower. You'll dry yourself so quickly that it's a wonder your flesh doesn't start to smoke from the friction. You're going to wrap your hair in a towel so that you won't drip on the baby and then you're going to rush over to pick him up and make everything ‘all better' but just before you reach out to pick him up you'll notice...he's gone back to sleep.

You may not see it now, but this is a good thing. Really it is. Now you've got a minute to get dressed. Be quick about it, though; he probably won't sleep for long.

No, we're not repeating ourselves. Yet. We've already talked about baby's wardrobe. This time we're talking about you. You've been so preoccupied with getting everything you need for the baby, you haven't given any thought to what you're going to need for you. Up until now, you've probably just assumed you'd wear the same things you've always worn. You might want to rethink that. Now, that's not to say you need to go out and replace your whole wardrobe. It might be nice but realistically that's not going to happen, even if you wanted to. After all, you're probably on unpaid maternity leave right now, not to mention all the ‘little' things you've been picking up over the past several months. You know, ‘little' things like: car seats, infant carriers, strollers, baby clothes, baby bottles, baby monitors, cribs, playpens, bassinettes, baby swings, baby blankets, toys, walkers, high chairs, little tiny spoons, diapers...and now your credit cards are maxed out. No - a new wardrobe is out of the question. All is not lost, however.

First, get your maternity clothes back out. I know, you never expected to see them again but right now they're the most comfortable clothes imaginable. If nothing else you can wear them around the house.

Don't even THINK about wearing white for now. Think patterned blouses. Those floral and paisley and yes, even polka-dots, aren't just a fashion statement anymore; they're camouflage. They work wonders when it comes to hiding streaks of spit up milk, not to mention those lovely little rings that magically seem to appear on the front of whatever you're wearing when the baby sounds the dinner wail. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

I know that we've already talked about this next one: your bra. It bears repeating. Your bra is your friend, get used to it. Embrace it or, maybe I should say, let it embrace you. Wear it - 24/7 - for at LEAST the next month or so.

You also might want to consider losing the dangling earrings. I know that, for right now, your precious angel keeps his sweet little fingers curled and his arms close to his body, but that's going to change and you want the earrings gone before that happens. You have to realize that shiny gold loops are just irresistible. Necklaces and bracelets are fun too, but oh, those earrings. By the way, you might want to think about a leather watchband, too. It'll be more comfortable on his tender little gums when the time comes.

Get used to the idea of sweatpants. You may fight them at first but at least think about it. That way, when you eventually give in, the shock won't be as severe.

If you haven't cut it yet (so many new mothers do right before they have their babies...BIG mistake), don't. It's a lot easier to pull back longer hair into a ponytail than short hair that doesn't want to cooperate. That's not to say that you're beyond hope if you wear your hair short...you just might want to consider a ‘wash-and-go' hairstyle. ‘Wash-and-go' is going to become the story of your life.

This won't have to change much. You won't have as much time to apply it but that's okay. You'll apply what you have to and yes, even you will get used to going out in public on occasion without any at all. The only thing that you might want to rethink is the dark or bright red lipstick. If the baby reaches up to grab your mouth (and for some reason they seem to love doing that), you don't want him coming away with red smears on his hands that he's going to transfer to the his face. The first time you notice that red smear on his cheek or his ear and your heart stops because you think it's blood...the red lipstick will stay in the makeup bag.

Okay...now we've gotten you dressed and ready. Let's turn our attention to the baby. He's already dressed, you say? Well, good. That's one thing out of the way. Let's move on: