Is Depression a Physical, Emotional, or Spiritual Illness?
84
What is depression?
Mainstream medicine currently explains clinical depression as a biochemical imbalance best treated by drugs and (sometimes) cognitive therapy.
Depression today is primarily defined as a chronic (or recurring acute) physical disease like diabetes or arthritis that has a strong psychiatric dimension; something that happens when the mix of chemicals in the blood and the brain goes a bit kerflooey, causing profound and debilitating sadness and pain.
The current physical model is a comforting way to look at depression, because it suggests that if clinical depression is caused by bad biochemistry, then it also (at least in theory) is 'fixable' by the same means: a straightforward matter of getting one's body chemistry 'right' by finding the correct medication or combination of drugs for whatever lack or imbalance exists.
Indeed, treating major depression with the right mix of drugs can be dramatically effective.
For awhile.
What we hear about far less often today is the fact that modern antidepressant drugs, while 1000% better than the drugs available 20 years ago, are still a hit and miss way of approaching the problem, which for all we've learned about it over the past 25 years, still remains a medical mystery in many, many ways.
Some studies (seldom promoted for obvious reasons) suggest that even the best drugs available work little better than placebos on most kinds of depression. To complicate matters many of the newer SSRI drugs have major side effects and/or tend to diminish in effectiveness over time. Worse still, other studies seem to indicate that even when a new drug does work for awhile, once its effectiveness passes, its efficacy is pretty much gone for good.
Keeping a depressive patient healthy with drug therapy alone can, over time, become an increasingly complicated pharmaceutical dance with a mysterious and elusive set of desired biochemical reactions.
And that's when treatment is going well.
The question eventually becomes, Is depression really caused by a biochemical imbalance? Or are biochemical imbalances caused by depression?
The Other Explanation
In the novel Shop Girl (recently made into a motion picture starring Steven Martin and Clare Danes), the protagonist is a young women of meager means and unfocused direction who earns her living at the glove counter of an upscale department store.
This chronically sad young woman falls in love with two men: one a successful, middle-aged executive who is drawn to her youth and beauty and whose interest is paternal and protective as well as sexual, and the other a young slacker with real personality drawbacks for whom she feels an irrational affinity and a natural bond.
The 'shop girl' (played by Danes in the movie) is plagued by clinical depression which her NYC psychiatrist treats with a constantly-adjusted and endlessly adjustable palette of pharmaceuticals, all of which work for awhile and then suddenly don't. It isn't until the protagonist drops the security of the older man and her familiar but boring job, and allows herself to live a creative life filled with risk and the uncertainty that comes with the shaggier boyfriend, that her depression comes under control and eventually lifts.
Intuitively, this view of depression feels closer to the mark (even to many people who struggle with depression) than the biochemical model. That is, we seem to understand (or at least want to believe) that on some level depression has a strong spiritual or at least an existential component, and that if only we can remove the block or whatever is in the way of happiness, be it an emotional hang-up (fear, rage) or a spiritual challenge (untapped creative energy, untapped talents), a real and lasting way out of depression can be found.
Appealing as the existential, self-actualizing view of depression is, it too has serious flaws.
For example, sometimes clinical depression seems to serve a protective function for the depressed person. Dangerous as the disease of depression is in its own right, it seems to sometimes temporarily protect the sufferer from worse dangers. Grief is like this. The person shuts down. We know why. We respect that process and let it run its course.
Another common axiom claims, "Depression is anger turned inward." A common sense pop psychology sort of response might be, "Fine, let's turn that anger outward then!"
Yet in practice, initiating such a reversal can be:
- extremely difficult or impossible (patients who are deep into a major depressive episode can be unreachable and immobile)
- dangerous (sometimes action is being held back by depression for a reason; i.e., the first act of the depressed person may well be to harm self or others), or...
- ineffective (evidence for the effectiveness of cognitive therapy alone on major depression is not impressive).
What's more, depression can be dangerous.
The suicide rate in the general population right now hovers between 1.5% and 2%. For people with clinical depression that rate leaps to 15%. Women who are taking antidepressants are twice as likely as women who are not to have sudden cardiac arrest, and clinical depression has also been linked to higher rates of various types of cancer.
In fact, depressed people are so much more likely to develop a host of other serious illnesses (if they don't kill themselves first) that most health insurers refuse to cover anyone who has even briefly taken antidepressant medication or has any recorded history of any emotional disorder even resembling depression.
In other words, compelling medical data suggests that aggressive treatment with antidepressant medication is both vital to stabilizing a depressed patient and at the same time is possibly dangerous in its own right.
Add to that confusing picture the fact that no one really understands how SSRI medication works in the first place or why it so often stops working, and what you are left with (in my opinion) is more questions than answers.
My Own Story
Depression runs in my family. I've been coping with it for as long as I can remember. I recall spending much of my childhood crying and locked in my room, immobile and in agony.
My mother spent most of that same period also locked in her own room in a dark, dark place, whacked out on what seemed liked dozens of drugs. I remember how she used to line them up on the window ledge above the kitchen sink. Periodically they would take her away, and when she came back she would be alright for a day or a week, or sometimes, not ever. Sometimes it was just right back into the locked bedroom with the pills.
I left home as soon as I could, and because it was the 1970s by then and because there were all these social service agencies serving crazy poor people, I was able to start a long string of treatments and psychotherapies and so on and so forth, most of which gave me somewhere to take my misery but alleviated it not one whit. Meanwhile, my two younger sisters began their own struggles both with major depression and drugs.
People who have never experienced a depressive episode think it's about willful sadness or some perverse love of melancholy, but that doesn't even describe it a little bit. For me, depression was like getting hit with an avalanche of toxic sludge. First the sludge knocks you on your back and gets you crying. Then it seeps into your body, feeling very much like thick acid just under the skin.
Depression isn't just emotionally unpleasant, it's physically painful in a way and to an extent that can be overwhelming. The surface of a depressed person's skin can be as raw as if that person has no skin. The pain can can eventually sink right into the bones. Some depressed people shut down so profoundly they cannot be reached at all.
Depressive episodes may be kicked off by an identifiable trigger, or they can come out of the blue for no apparent reason. Even when a trigger can be identified, the depression that follows is usually out of all proportion to the actual event that kicks it off. Your tire goes flat. So you cry for a week and can't get out of bed.
When SSRI drugs were invented I was lucky enough to be in treatment with a cognitive therapist who refused to continue treating me unless I got a psychiatric drug evaluation and went on some kind of antidepressant regimen. I didn't trust that idea at all, but I trusted her and I was in a lot of pain so I did it.
The results were nothing short of miraculous.
Within about 10 days it felt as though someone had literally just flipped the "off" switch on my depression. I felt normal for the first time in my life. Within another six months it was clear that I didn't need the cognitive therapy anymore either. I was cured. All those years of therapy, and all I needed was a pill. I couldn't believe it. It was wonderful.
But then, about a year later my blood pressure spiked to 200/100, something which could well have been an effect of the specific antidepressant medication I was on, which was known to cause that in some people. At the same time, my insurance company embraced another favorite depression drug, jettisoning the one that had effected my dramatic cure. My GP changed my medication without tapering the old one off and I became deathly ill. I lost a week's worth of work. (You can't just 'go off' SSRIs, there are severe withdrawal effects.)
An emergency call to my therapist and a visit to a shrink and I was shortly on new meds.
They worked for awhile, and then, not so much.
Then the price went up to nearly $300 a month, even with insurance. Then I lost my job, my insurance, and my medication.
So much for miracle cures.
Today, Tomorrow
Today I don't take any medications. I don't have insurance and I don't much care if I get any because I really don't think the medical system in the U.S. is very safe right now, and I think the mental health system is about 50 times worse than the regular medical system.
I walk every day, try to eat right, and have cut the stress level in my life way back.
So far, I have managed to get by with only a few days that really knocked me over. The rest of the time I either feel pretty good, or I can tell depression is there ('the black dog' they call it--I can tell he's at the door), but I fight to keep it on the other side of a door that does not, to tell the truth, feel all that solid.
When I was in therapy, it felt like all the insight in the world didn't really help all that much. I just had a better understanding of WHY I felt like crap and I could talk more eloquently about it.
When I was on medication, my 'recovery' never felt secure. On some meds, I could feel the depression, as if behind a solid wall, still there. On others, I felt very happy, but had so many side effects I constantly questioned the wisdom of taking the drugs.
Today I am not as miserable as I was when I was young. I've learned a lot, and I try to use the talents I have to the degree that I am able, to stay creatively engaged instead of just putting in hours for money at something that makes me want to scream. Even so, I get the sense that depression is still following me around, watching and waiting for the right time to drop in and do its thing.
Though no one asks for my opinion, (what could I possibly know about depression just because I've have it for 40+ years?), I personally think that depression is physical, emotional, and spiritual, and that it is also different for every person who struggles with it.
In my case, I see depression as an inheritance that I can trace back for generations, one that is both poisonous and valuable, both character-building and dangerous. I think I have a sense of its roots and of what I must do for my part in working with it. I live with it but I am not its master.
We have a crisis in the modern world right now, or so they say, wherein depression has reached epidemic levels in our society. I think that before we all gobble up the next hot drug or start putting these drugs in the water coolers at our stressful corporate jobs, we might want to collectively ask ourselves, why? Why are we all getting hit so hard with this now?
I don't have an easy answer. But I do think it's a tougher question than we are led to believe.
When I find the answer, I'll write a hub about it.
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
D. All of the above.
You know, I was feeling very depressed when I was still with my husband. I have three wonderful children, my own business, a college education, etc. But I still felt like I was stuck in a rut and that no one cared about my problems, least of all my husband, etc.
It took me pulling myself out of that hole I had dug for myself. I have tried different pills from the doctor, too. Drugs are all fine and good, but it may be that we have to find a state of bliss within ourselves, recapture that sense of wonder we have long forgotten but see in the faces of children every day.
It's taking the time to do something nice for ourselves because we know that we matter and realizing that no matter what happens, a better thing is around the corner. Know that one door closes so that another door can open. Only you can choose your attitude. You can choose to act miserable or you can go along with the flow and choose happiness.
I even stopped watching the news because it is just hopelessly depressing to see where this world is heading. I have decided to focus on the happy things in my little world until such time as I am forced to do otherwise.
Hi MM--Thanks for the vote of confidence! It really is complex, and it's troubling so see it misunderstood and reduced to a soundbyte or a prescription so often.
advisor4qb--Thank you for sharing your experience. I do think its a misunderstanding however to see clinical depression as a choice to be miserable. It's true that we can choose our attitudes, but what I'm talking about here is something that no one chooses, and people who struggle with it get that 'buck up, snap out of it' stuff all the time and its maddening and a serious misunderstanding of what's going on. But I think you are so right that there is much we can do for ourselves and attitude is a big part of it. Thanks for sharing. :)
A brave Hub Pee, in this world of perfection and ubergloss anything that doesn't fit the mould is locked away and frowned on like some Victorian Institution.
Our chemilcally enhanced lifestyles, over bearing work stresses and financial chaos make us all hostages to clinical depression. You never know when the whole deck of cards will come tumbling down, and as you said its not always the big issues that get you, the flat tyre could be just as much the trigger.
I don't think we can avoid the dog, just try not offer him tit bits to encourage him to visit.
Hi knell63--That's a good point--it's really not acceptable to be anything but insanely chipper and upbeat these days, and we're expected to exhibit this behavior in the most aversive situations. Some of the most obvious things that we'd like to say (ie, I hate this job, I need more sleep, I don't want to do this...) are blocked, we're supposed to suck it up no matter what. Any hint of discontent and people slap you into line, buck up, knock it off, etc. No wonder we all go a bit mad now and then. :) (Note smiley face ending.)
Wow, incredible sharing of your personal experiences. To conclude that it is all 3 only comes to reason. What a journey to leave behind traditional medicine. Anyone to try to second guess your conclusions would do well to walk a brief moment in your shoes.
Excellent hub on a timeless issue that is manifest in all walks of life everywhere. So prevalent with so few answers, I think however, you were able to share some solace and comfort here. Excellent hub.
Thanks emohealer--that was really a kind thing to say. I really appreciate it. I hope it is helpful to someone or the other, by and by. :)
Depression is the reason why I began writing journals when I was 13. I felt it was an outlet, a temporary cure for an ailment that weighted on me throughout the course of my everyday. I vowed that I would fight it on my own, without the aid of a doctor or a guidance counselor...All of this while my body was changing. I fought to find answers to why I thought the way I did and found that by writing about it, I would somehow find the answer. And what I did figure out was that it was all in my head and that I needed only to write it down whenever it was bothering me...Thank you for sharing pgrundy. I hope that you will persevere through your trying time.
Thanks for sharing that dohn121--Lots of writers struggle with depression. Maybe you are right, the thing to do is write. I'm glad that you found a solution. thanks for sharing that! :)
God, Pam. I've read bits and pieces of this, and am ashamed to say how scared I am of your wisdom here, because it is more important than money or banks or mortgages. I'll come back in a day or two after I've thought it all over. I know intuitively that I agree with pretty much 90% of what you say, but what gets me here is the bravery with which you have faced the current situation with no insurance and no meds, and again, I'm bowled over by your common sense. I wish you all the very best (and you know exactly what I mean by that). hugs.
I have my own views, part of it is that the epidemic status of depression today can be traced to cultural reasons. Most people don't have much emotional support in their lives and the traditional cultural mechanisms for supporting grief have all but vanished. People are expected to show up to work chipper and functional the day after a child or spouse died. as one example. Others include the fragmentation of families -- not divorce per se but the breakdown of all the extended family structures and the way most employers don't allow any personal matters to interfere with the mechanistic schedules of the job. People are overworked, stressed, underpaid and constantly bullied. Who wouldn't be depressed?
A ludicrous number of people are living on the edge in so many ways that cumulative grief seems like a good reason for depression. I've had situational depression for most of my life, not the chemical problem but situational -- and no amount of cognitive therapy changes the situation, though the support of a therapist can mitigate it, if the situation can't be escaped or changed it doesn't make much difference.
Different cultures swing toward suicide or homicide when people crack. In America it seems to swing toward both, suicide with taking others with you. It's a murder culture but the suicide rate is rising, and a suicidal murderer isn't restrained by anything. So these broad cultural causes for depression to me are a big public health concern, a risk to everyone, even people who have lucked and struggled to get into a good way of life.
One of the ugliest cultural factors is that no one's grief is taken seriously no matter how horrifying the trauma. The social expectation today is to shut up, put a face on it and function regardless of how bad it got -- of things like surviving rape, or death threats, or the suicide of a friend or family member, of bitter and sometimes homicidal family conflicts, of breakdowns in marriages, of anything. Because these inhumane conditions are so widespread anyone who misses even a step because of grief gets looked down on and treated as "sick" in a condemning way.
We don't live in a healthy society, we don't have a healthy culture. It's not the statistical level of 5% that don't fit in, but a huge and growing segment of society that doesn't fit in and lives in constant fear. Do that to any living creature and it may despair or turn violently aggressive.
Pam, first of all, an e-hug. And then, thank heavens you are writing. It might be good for you, but mainly, it is so good for others. Thank you for the realistic hope that you transmit. Such courage and wisdom.
Fantastic article.
I've wondered about this question you posed "The question eventually becomes, Is depression really caused by a biochemical imbalance? Or are biochemical imbalances caused by depression?" quite often.
There are so many different kinds of depressions and levels of each. So many reasons for them, not all known, and certainly no answers for all. And oftentimes, I think, when a doctor pinpoints one patient as having or being the same type or situation as another patient, because the depression seems the same, and therefore treats it the same, they could actually be making a very big mistake. This is why I never work in the field of psychology, we would have to intern at the psych ward and answer everything in pill form. Unfortunate because I really wanted to be a therapist. But that's okay, My life took an appropriate route.
I read Shopgirl when it very first came out. Steve Martin is a favorite of mine. You described a theme? of the book that I had forgotten. I remember thinking about so many things in that book for hours. It's one I definitely recommend reading. The movie was wonderful as well, though I don't remember now what the differences were. That was a very nice tie in.
pgrundy, as always, thanks for another great hub that educate. Thanks for sharing your experience so that we can learn.
I have periods of deep sadness and melancholy, but I have not been clinically diagnosed. I applaud for your courage and fortitude in keeping the dog at bay.
Keep on keeping on...
Two hours ago, I told my wife's family, with whom I have always felt that I am fighting for my life and my marriage, the ugly truth I was feeling about them. Now, I sit at home, alone, staring into the face of the black dog and not knowing what to do or where to go.
When I became obsolete within the work force at the age of 61 , I found that no one wanted me, and because I had worked all my life I became very depressed and withdrawned. Pills worked for awhile but had to be increased so that I could cope. Today, five years later, I still get moments of absolute down that I can't shake regards brownlickie
Whew---this is a tough illness and one that you must seek treatment for so you can reclaim your life and happiness...
Hi Teresa--My intent wasn't to scare you or anyone else, but I've noticed that's what I often do when I write about this stuff. In an ideal world I'd have some support and help with this (beyond my wonderful partner and my family) but we don't live in an ideal world. I really do think the illness is being misrepresented to sell drugs to people who are not coping with clinical depression, but rather have transitory situational issues that could be better dealt with through therapy. They have adjustment issues, and often the adjustment that needs to happen is, they need to stop adjusting.
Plus we've got all these GPs and internists dispensing SSRIs in the wrong doses to people who have no diagnosis. Someone comes in with adjustment issues,and bam, 50mg of Zoloft, outta my office. Now, 50mg of Zoloft isn't going to do squat for anyone larger than a grey squirrel, but what matters is, the GP sold some Zoloft so the drug rep is happy, and they got that patient out their door. But never were the real issues addressed on any level. And now the patient has an inadequate prescription for an illness they may or may not have at all, but probably not. That patient will be back with high BP or chest pains, and this time the stupid GP will hand out xanax or Klonopin for stress if tests show no cardiac disease. Still no recognition of the underlying stressors and no serious treatment attempt through lifestyle changes or other methods, just here's a pill, go away.
We need REAL mental health services in the US but they are gone for the most part, thanks to Reagan and pals.
I think it will hurt people with major depression most of all, this endless hawking of SSRIs. There is still this framing of the illness as a moral issue, a character issue, and I get so sick of that. I think a lot of it is due to the perception that drug companies are just marketing antidepressant meds for everyone and everything, which they are. I'm sorry I scared you though. I always look forward to your thoughts on things.
Robert--Well, yes, I agree with everything you say here. Having spent almost 8 years in a corporate cubicle type of environment where relentless cheerfulness was brutally enforced no matter how inappropriate or delusional it was, I concur wholeheartedly that we aren't very emotionally healthy as a society. We have no tolerance for appropriate sadness and grief, never mind pathological sadness--even if the person clearly can't help it we tend to blame the depressed person. I also agree about trauma and abuse--there's this societal pressure to shut up and get over it, preferably don't even mention it ever. It's really quite sick. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it.
rosario montegnegro--Thank you for your comment and you kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. :)
Frieda--I love Steve Martin, and the thing is, he's a gifted writer, he's not just funny, he's also very talented and insightful when he's being serious. I liked Shop Girl too. Haven't seen the movie yet, now I want to!
DynamicS--Thank you! I hope you will get some help with your sadness and melancholy if you can. Therapy isn't an instant fix but it can be really helpful.
Steve--I'm sorry to hear you're going through that. Families can make life so much harder than it needs to be. I hope it all sorts out for you. I have great in-laws but in the past I've had some unpleasant ones who just wanted me to go away and that makes it all so much harder. Hang in there.
brownlickie--I'm sorry to hear about your experience. In all honesty I'm going through something like that now. At 56 I might was well be 76 when it comes to finding a job--you'd think I was toxic waste or something, not a person with almost 40 years of work experience. I got a little temporary job over the holidays and they made me get a doctor's note saying I was unlikely to die on the job and then sign a release saying I would not hold them liable if I died anyway or had a serious health issue. Seriously. It cost me $80 for that note, and the job paid $10/hr. Now that company is bankrupt. I worked for them for two months, November and December, and they're already belly up. I feel for you. There's a lot of us out here--all dressed up with nowhere to go careerwise.
Nancy's Niche--Hi, thanks for that. I am not eligible for any treatment right now except whatever I can provide myself. Can't get insurance, can't get a job, don't trust the medical profession anymore anyway. One you get into that system, you might as well be a lab rat. I'm just not going there again unless it all gets unmanageable. Thanks for your kindness. :)
Thanks for this hub. Pharmaceutical drugs should be the last resort. There are many herbal remedies out there that are as powerful and have fewer side effects, which obviously the pharm companies don't want us to know about. Also a change in one's diet can make a big difference. I'm in a better mood when I eat lots of fruits and vegetables and abstain from refined sugars and salt.
Pam, your life and all your experiences are what make you such an able writer, especially on topics like this. I've experienced depression myself, and I've also worked with clients who have depression brought on by life, rather than by their chemical make-up. Hypnosis, is great, fantastic in fact, for helping people who can't cope because their Mother-in-law hates them, or they've failed their seventh driving test, or because some kid at school 20 years ago called them names. Some things just have to be dealt with before we can move on, otherwise those memories keep rapping on the lid of the box we've stored them in, usually at very inconvenient moments, too. For the rest, as you say, drugs have their place, and so does treating ourselves with kindness. Another great hub Pam.
Hi Ian--Yes I've read very good things about St. John's Wort. Several studies, as you say, put it as good as or better than antidepressant meds for mild to moderate depression. Daily exercise is another one, as is avoiding sugar. Thanks for your insights.
Hi Amanda--I find hypnosis fascinating. I would love to try it. I worked briefly for a hynotist as his bookkeeper and receptionist--that was pretty interesting. I'm also fascinated by past life regression therapy, which I think uses hypnosis. What's really interesting is that it often is very powerful and actually works pretty fast whether the 'past lives' are real or not. I find that so cool. And yes, amen, we sould ALL treat ourselves more kindly! Thanks for your thoughts on this. :)
Is depression really caused by a biochemical imbalance? Or are biochemical imbalances caused by depression? I believe the later and it is at this level we must go in order to resolve the issue. Great hub Pam, as usual.
Hi Jewels! I think that too--it's tough to go deeper, but that's where the answer lies I believe. :)
I come from a long line of depressed people who have a tendency to self-medicate by becoming alcoholics. However, I'm sort of a boot-strap, lemonade making type, myself....;) And I don't have that affinity for alcohol. I believe depression to be multi-dimensional. I agree that it has been made into a disease and over-medicated. I absolutely believe that people not living to their potential creatively and otherwise are likely to be depressed.... I do think there are those, however, who are clinically depressed that meds can help--but that should be a very short term help. I know that exercise helps as much (clinically proven) as meds to cure depression.
I cannot say I'm a happy person all the time, and I wouldn't want to be. I AM realistic about things...I believe it to be a saving grace in my family. I also have something of an innate (?) sense of adventure. It can also help.
Hi Lita--Sounds like we are pretty much on the same page with it. Thanks for sharing your insights. ;)
My reaction was pretty much the same as Mighty Mom's. :) A very strong "All three!"
I've had chronic low level depression problems since I was about 12, with occasional forays into deeper territory. It runs in my family as well - my sister in particular used to disappear into her room a couple times a month when she was a teenager and be found when somebody went in to fetch her for dinner curled up under the bed crying. My own tends to be tied pretty closely to my hopelessly screwed up hormones, but the worst episodes, other than a bout with PPD, have been the ones that weren't so obviously connected to hormonal issues.
Exercise is the thing that helps me the most, but I really despise exercise for the sake of exercise, so I have a terrible time motivating myself to do it, even though I know I'll be miserable if I don't. It drives my husband crazy. We're actually considering moving to Colorado in a couple years just so he can drag me out on the trail every day - I'll happily hike ten miles a day, but try to get me to do even one mile on a treadmill and I'll come up with more whining, lies, and excuses than a 4 year old told to eat his broccoli.
Very good article with wonderful detail on the subject. Thanks.
Thanks dsletten, I appreciate it.
kerryg--I hate to exercise for exercise's sake too but love to walk. I was walking in this nature preserve for an hour each morning with my dog, and then the dog got this neck problem, so I had to shorten the walks to 20 minutes per the vet. Do I go back for the other 40? No! But I want to! I have to get back to that, I really miss it. And yes, it works as well as anything, really, and I always feel better afterward. Too bad you live so far away--we could be hiking buddies and keep each other on track! Thanks for sharing your experience here, I totally relate.
You know that YOU are the creator of all that occurs in all of your life experience, right?You create your physical life experience through your thoughts. Literally, every thought that you think gives birth to a creation. EVERY thought has creative power.The subconscious accepts whatever you pretend is real and will use it to create your outer reality. The thoughts that you think, regarding those things that you want, set into motion the creation, and eventual fulfillment of that which you want. And likewise, the thoughts that you think, regarding those things that you do not want, set into motion the creation, and eventual fulfillment of that which you do NOT want
Yeah thanks I never heard that before. It's total news to me. Well, I'm off to create something, have a great day. :)
Pam: I am catching up with the hubs of my favorite writers, you are one, there are so many hubs, I can't keep up with all of them, but am glad I read this one tonight.
I suffered from depression from age 13 to 19 because I couldn't cope being hearing impaired; it was agonizing; at that time I was into poetry writing which was a great outlet for me. I prayed every night for my hearing to be restored, and on my 20th birthday, I woke up with the realization, I had to accept my hearing deficit and live my life the best way I knew how, and not ever feel sorry for myself. I kid you not, I was healed instantly from depression, once I surrendered. For me the depression was a resistance to what was in my destiny.
BTW, I take 5HTP which is good for people with depression, OCD or panic attacks, (as long as they are not taking sedatives) to keep my brain nourished, as the change of life, was not easy, brought on my old mild panic feelings.
As usual, good hub!
Hi Violet Sun,
Thank you for sharing that. I've heard good things about 5HTP, and I also find exercise and eating well helps, especially avoiding sugar. There are many different kinds of depression, and some of them I think are part of a normal process of accepting difficult and/or traumatic changes. We grieve when a person dies, but also when something in us dies. Everyone handles it differently, and sometimes I do think there is a physical component and a hereditary one, it's just not the only explanation or the only thing at work :)
Wonderfully written and expressed with such feeling and honesty. You have a wonderful perspective on depression. I am impressed by your courage in the harsh face of depression. I have battled this demon for years also. Your image of the black dog behind the door is perfect. It's like being in a small boat on rough seas.
Thanks Caillin--All the best to you! I appreciate your thoughtful and supportive comment. :)
I wonder if as a society we just want everyone to be normal? Winston Churchill is a famous depressive but also a genius in several areas of life - would he have held the UK together during WW2 if he was being "treated" for his "illness" - I rather think not.
I recall after my mother died I held it together for quite a while - organising funeral (father long gone brother overseas) - finally after the service I just cried and cried, for days, I woke up in tears. I had well-intentioned people suggesting I needed something for my depression - like WTF - its called grief people I remember thinking (I'd say it aloud these days I'm stroppier).
I ssw a newspaper report about a quadriplegic who is campaigning for the right to die- there is concern that he "may" be suffering from depression - like it was another disease, the guy used to be a high-flyer businessman - now he can't move, can't eat, is in constant pain - and they think he shouldn't be sad ????
great hub!
Hi Lissie,
I totally agree. I think that we can't tolerate the idea that life can be painful or that bad things can happen over which we have no control. When other people are sad, it scares us, and we want them to stop. But so often sadness and/or grief is an appropriate response. If you let people grieve or be sad the 'problem' eventually resolves itself. It's normal, not pathological.
But you raise a good point with Churchill. Many great people--artists, entertainers, politicians, and most especially writers--suffer from depression or bipolar disease and one has to wonder again if it is really pathology or just a disposition that often accompanies creativity. Being able to block out stimuli is part of adaptation, but block too much and you are not aware of external reality to a degree that allows you to respond well. I think it can be argued that some people are able to respond to more than other people (ie, Churchill certainly was) but at the cost of a overly happy life. If we medicated such people into relentless cheerfulness, would the accomplish the same things for us? I agree with you that no, they probably would not. Great comment, thank you.
Thank you for this Hub! I wish more people would speak out about depression. I have suffered since 8th grade. Therapy works for me to a point....but then it doesn't. Meds are effective right now as I suffer with extreme anxiety & panic attacks.
When you talk about your mom and how you want to get away, that tugged hard on my heart. I know my kids suffer when I'm in the dark...so I try SO hard to keep going so they don't see it.
Again, thanks!
Hi Jane--Thank you for sharing and my best thoughts go with you. :) There really still is a stigma I think. Disclosing depression brings on a lot of unpleasant comments sometimes, or at least some. Most people really don't understand and I think that's why few want to talk about it openly. I really appreciate you sharing and commenting. All the best.
This is an extremely well written hub, with great insights and heartfelt opinions that went into it. I'm a life coach and I have coached people who have been through depression before. It's not an easy condition to overcome, so I'm always respectful of those who have the courage to pick themselves up after they have been hit with hard knocks in life.
I know where you are. I've been there it seems a thousand times over. There is an answer and a solution. But it is only when we are truly ready to want to be healed. I cried day in and day out. But it was only when I finally decided that what I wanted more was peace and clarity more then suffering, that I finally accepted the solution. I had to fight day in and day out with the fear of letting go of my, lack of understanding, my fear of not knowing what will happen to me if I did let go of all my pain, anger, and th biggest of all the denial of being unhappy with my life. Now well I'm 37, and I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow but I have finally reached a place were I don't care because I am finally alive and living. Also my creativity has returned and I am confident in who I am finally after so so many years. If you are ready, and you would like some info, let me know. This is not a passing thing, this is a mircle.
Hi celestina and goodfriendiam--I appreciate your comments and that you took the time to read this. Thank you and all the best to you both.
It is..."Emotionaly"...ONLY.
The..."Treatment": change u'r location, u'r name, move 2 a
different city...different country...different continent.
2. make friends no matter what;
3. be ...."Out-going"[dance, trips, parties, etc.]
4. eliminate ppl.who r pulling "U" down.or hold "U" back.w/o
any remorse.
Good hub and quite informational as well. Had a bout with that black dog a couple of years ago but got off the meds as soon as I felt better and exercise was the key for me, haven't seen the mutt lately nor care to......
My sympathies. I like yourself have struggled with depression to varying degrees since I was around 15. Similarly my parent suffered with the condition also. I always beg the question as to whether it is the patterns of thinking that my parents tranfered to me or whether it was pure genetics...
Hi 1anomaly-- I find exercise helps a lot too. Thanks for stopping by.
Barry--I do think it' s a little of both. Hope you are feeling better these days. Hang in there!
Brilliantly written hub - your honesty is humbling and I can relate to many of your struggles. The thing I've found to help more than anything else is meditation.
Thank you Susana--All the best to you. :)
One thing I was going to write this morning but didn't have time was my theory of why depression has become a modern epidemic from a sociological perspective.
I think it's because we evolved to live in smallish communities of up to 200 people, not massive sprawling cities and not in our own four walls. For the majority of human evolution we've lived in close proximity to our extended family - with social mobility, families are spread all over countries and continents. The support that comes from living in a small community with all your family has vanished for most of us in the western world.
Wow, pgrundy, what a hub. I have been through depressive periods, but not as bad as the stuff you describe. I've never taken any medication, but when at the brink of a divorce, I did seek help from a clinical psychologist, and that was helpful. However that relief - as in the case of the medications you mentioned - lasted only for a period of time.
I have crossed that bridge now, and am well past the anger and frustration stages. But, occasionally, a depressive feeling of helplessness in coping and the drudgery of unavoidable chores in life does creep up. I have found that physical exercise - even if it is mild, as in nine holes of golf - or socialising with good friends of long standing, chatting up an online but dear friend, etc go a long way in getting me back to where one feels reasonably good, well in control of one's life, and quite prepared to accept the uncertainities over which one has no control.
Loved this hub .... must read your others too! Oh yes, a big thumbs up, and you have a new fan too! :p
Thank you Jaspal! So much of what we call depression is just a reasonable emotional reaction to difficult adjustments in life--grief over divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, etc. It's too bad we can't just allow people to have their feelings. Most cases resolve themselves over time no matter WHAT a doctor does or doesn't do. That's something you'll never hear a drug company admit.
More serious cases of recurrent depression are in another category altogether I think, and those can be quite dangerous and have to be treated and monitored. I appreciate your supportive words. Best of luck to you!
Very powerful hub.I believe no one can really help depression.Its only our own spiritual inner self that can change this.Changing it with something valuable to you but way more valuable to others can over come this depression and I believe by this hub you are on the right path for correcting this problem.It helps you but makes other like me understand much more.It's only a matter of time that things will change.I've never taken drugs because I don't think it helps spiritually but only helps physically but with side effects on the side.Drugs are only there to mask this feeling without correcting the real problem.What really frustrates me.The people probably know this from the beginning, that we chose our physical connection instead of emotion.We ignore and forget what the voice of conscience say's to us and I believe its only there to help us more then we think it does.I think that's our problem and keeping us drugged up and masking up the problem brought us in the world today.Whatever we have inside of us is what we have outside of us.We are only the reflection of our inner spiritual self.Things will change in time for a better spiritual and physical life.
Hi Andre--Thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions on it. I wish you only the best.
Nice Written.
I am just coming out of the darkest period of my life to the sunlight once again. Looking back - it is definitely all three. Sometimes you dont really know how badly it affects all aspects of your life until you can look back.
Sarah--I'm glad to hear you are starting to feel better. I know what you mean--sometimes it is only looking back that it becomes clear how bad it can get. Take care, and thanks for sharing your experience.
Such a good hub on depression Pam! And such great comments.
In Australia many prefer the other anti-depressants of the MAOI's or MonoAmine Oxidase Inhibitors type A
These act to inhibit the re-uptake od seratonin also, and have a lesser effect on dopamine. They take about 5 weeks to work though. Some people who do not respond to SSRI's or Selective seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors do respond to MAOI's.
There is another very interesting drug that is different, and is used in anti aging. It too is an MAOI but of type "B" It is known as "selegiline: (you can find it on wikipedia) It is much more interesting than many others, and if you do not know about it and wish to know I can find links to medical tests. :)
Great discussion, great work as usual Pam.
Thanks Earnest--I will check out that new drug for sure. Honestly though, I can't afford drugs anymore since I lost my insurance last October when I lost my job. Even with the insurance they were becoming unaffordable. I actually went off them before I lost the job, because I didn't want to be caught cold turkey if I didn't have the money. Lucky thing--because I soon didn't! I hope they pass some kind of insurance reform here that gives me access to care but I doubt it will happen. I've been doing well by walking 45 minutes each day and talking myself up, but it does get worrying sometimes. Thanks for your excellent comments and the tip on the new pharmaceutical!
Good Hub! Here's one you might like: http://hubpages.com/hub/higherconsciousness
Thank you for sharing. I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder over sixteen years ago, and have had drug treatment and counseling for as long. The one thing that has enhanced my recovery the most was also being diagnosed with ADHD in 2005. I have had changes in all my meds periodically except for one. Keep in mind I'm not promoting anything here, but the Adderral I take every day has kept me on track for the most part for the longest period of time. If anyone ever continues to struggle like I did, please dig deeper into your symptoms and make your Doctor understand them any way you can. One diagnoses may not be accurate.
Thanks.
MG Croutch
Thanks MG Croutch--That is such great advice. Lots of people have dual diagnoses and don't realize it for years. It's getting harder and harder to get good help with this stuff in some ways, but then in other (like medications available) it's much better than it once was. All the best to you. :)
Really enjoyed your hub you put into words what I thought personally. My own opinion is that drugs mask the reason for the depression but as you say they have their place for severe cases. However, treating the symptom the depression without looking at the root of it, is liking trying in boil and egg in a waterless pan.
I appreciate this hub as my journey is similar.
I have recently started a program of supplements for bipolar disorder and other such conditions called EMPowerplus by Truehope. Its worth checking out.
Meds worked ok for me in 9 years of denial of my "illness". This wasn't sustainable, however, and I wasn't really happy. I could believe the lie much of the time, but I wasn't.
On the vitamins and minerals program I"m much more clear in my thinking and can see how the real work in being well is in taking responsibility for your emotions. Owning your state of mind is not easy--especially with the lack thereof being ingrained in every cell of the body with years, and potentially lifetimes--of living irresponsibly.
Knowledge, will, and determination supported by diet, exercise, and regular deep sleep seems the best recipe for mental health. I am quite green in this theory, however, but I doubt I'll be able to discredit it.
Thanks for this hub!
~patrick
I openly rebuked anti-depressants by choice. I have been shot, stabbed, hit by a dump-truck, and suffer from complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS/RSD)...severe chronic pain as a result of a military injury.Major Clinical depression. I lost my marriage, my finances twice and at one time was almost homeless. The list goes on. My theory is what I call the self-interview. Writing down questions and then answering them. Being absolutely brutal about how you feel about everything and ask yourself what you can do about. Find the source of pain and reject it. Reread your answers on the Third day and see if they are still valid. It is about you and know one else. Good luck. God bless!
Michael--Sounds like you're on to something. Thank you for commenting.
I enjoyed this HUB. Lots of food for thought. Have struggled with depression most of my life and have never and will never go on meds. Often it's related to 'blocked creativity' etc. Keep writing. You have much sound knowledge to share....
Thanks Mike! I agree about the blocked creativity part of it. I think part of the reason we have so much of it now is because people don't get to do work that matters to them and they don't get much exercise doing the work. I was on meds for a few years after a bad divorce. They helped but soon started to cause 'side effects' that caused new problems--like very high blood pressure--and then they got too expensive to afford. Now I walk and write, that's my program. Thanks for your thoughts. :)
Treatment for Depression: The brain needs positives in its life to counteract the negative, or it will get sick like any other part. Solving situations is a skilled game. You have to change the way you think and play. It runs in families cause they all play the same way. To become skilled, includes knowledge and wisdom to be positive to see what good can come out of this, or how do we work for this, and this is a temporary move, which we play back to like a game of chess. Medication a temporary measure to keep things working in the meantime.
Thanks for a very inspirational story of your battle for personal survival. The implications of depressions are very dire for the entire society. The fact that suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers (only car accidents are ahead) is evidence of depressions gravity.
Hi Tom--Thank you for your kind words. I'm doing pretty well lately, but it hasn't always been great. I think each person is different. I know for me, changing my lifestyle and getting off medications was the key. For someone else, it might be something entirely different.
Mighty Mom says:
4 months ago
Well, you beat me to the punchline. When I saw the title of your hub, my first reaction was "Yes." It IS all three -- but not necessarily all three in equal proportions with each episode. Or, of course, each person.
Glad to hear you've finally pulled yourself up by the old bootstraps, girl:-). You keep those old boots on and you stomp all over that damned depression and tell that Black Dog to "Sit! Stay!" Wish it was that easy.
Great hub, as usual. I feel ya. MM