Is Nagging a Woman’s Prerogative?
60A fellow hubber recently claimed she was ‘nagging’ me to write a sequel to one of my earlier hubs, and when I reminded her women were meant to nag only their husbands she asked for some tips. She’s getting married soon and is looking for advice from someone who’s been a nagging wife for a reasonable period of time. So countrywomen, this is for you.
There’s something about marriage that turns a sensible, even-tempered, usually calm woman into a bit of a shrew. (Have you noticed that all the nouns used to describe women of a certain not-so-likeable temperament are feminine? There’s also bitch and vixen, while we’re counting.) There we are coasting through life, quite happy with our limited interaction with the one who will soon be our significant other, quite oblivious to all his irritating quirks and annoying habits. If you’re lucky, you spend a few hours together and he goes home to his mother, and she presumably has to deal with his not-so-loveable side.
And then you tie the knot, and come crashing back to earth from whichever cloud you’ve been floating on. Suddenly you’re sharing living space with someone who doesn’t always have the same ideas as you about many things. If you’re a fussy neatnik, he’s definitely going to be the type who leaves a trail of dirty socks right up to the laundry basket. If you enjoy healthy meals bursting with goodness he’s going to relish artery-clogging rubbish. He’ll forget to put off the bathroom light; he’ll drop ash all over the clean bedspread; worse, he’ll burn a hole in it! In short he’ll do everything he can think of to drive you up the wall. Or perhaps he’s not thinking, and that is really the problem.
What else is a wife to do but nag? It starts with gentle suggestions, and you’re still polite at this stage. “Oh dear I seem to have overlooked his tendency to leave bottles uncapped,” you mutter to yourself, even as you smile at him winningly and make a show of capping the bottle under his nose. He hasn’t noticed of course. The next time you titter to yourself about careless people who forget to do simple things, but loud enough that he can hear. It won’t work. You can build yourself into a rage and stamp your feet the next time. He won’t remember to cap the bottle of ketchup, leave alone clean up the mess after it’s tipped over and created a nasty red puddle.
Men seem genetically wired to ignore suggestions, especially if they come from a wife. Make the simplest suggestion and he’ll pretend he hasn’t heard. Make it another couple of times and he will accuse you of nagging. When the roles are reversed it’s not nagging of course. He’s just being helpful when he suggests you cut back on chocolate so you can get into a once-favourite pair of jeans again. Men don’t nag; they guide, they discipline; they gently steer.
But don’t let that deter you. It’s a women’s prerogative to nag, and it must be true if the men keep telling us that. The best thing to do is master the art of being a successful nag. That might sound like an oxymoron, because if you were successful at getting a man to do something you wouldn’t need to nag, but let’s not nitpick. A successful nag learns in time that you don’t have to be loud to be annoying. Smug and soft spoken can have the same effect, if you do it often enough. A raised eyebrow, the slightest curl of a lip, a long suffering sigh, or even a resigned shrug of the shoulders can have a similar effect. Not the desired effect perhaps, but you’re definitely going to be getting under his skin. He won’t get up and promptly do what you want him to, he’s got his maleness to defend after all, but eventually you’ll notice the change.
One day he will remember to cap that bottle, albeit with ill grace. All you have to do is find something else to nag him about. A woman’s got to stay in practice after all.
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That was quick CW! Hope it was of some help! :P
Its our prerogative, our privilege and also the major source of our endless power! This is closely followed with our ability to turn on the tears at a moment's notice. God gave us these abilities so that we can drive our men insane. We should use them liberally.
FP- As I told you I look forward to your hubs and the moment you published I got a email alert..hehe
I am sure I would know how far it would help only if I put this knowledge to actual test later...LOL.
You're right Ritu...more power to us!
All the best CW! :)
Thanks FP for the wishes. All the best to the best from the best. (A little bit of mutual admiration)...hehe
I see you'r taking a stance here...not all men are really addled like that :)
to be honest, most of the time i see that women are the ones who ALWAYS ignore advices/suggestions and just wanna do what they wanted no matter how the man makes his point clear and/or nag about it. Ok I'm a man, but im not exaggerating things but I think it's true. Women only find excuses for their acts (which are sometimes done intentionally, unlike men) and they just come with a sentence like : (I dunno I just did it) !
:)
Good hub
The story sounds so familier . :)
I guess men who marry and remain married, even after finding out that the one who appeared to be an angel was actually a witch in disguise, deserve to be well and truly nagged! :p
Well, I'm lucky I guess, my wife doesn't nag... er... I hope she isn't reading this :-P
Thanks for stopping by Mezo! And as a man, you're entitled to defend your gender! :)
And I notice the hub is drawing more comment from men...strikes a chord perhaps? :P
Of course it's a woman's prerogative to nag!
Years ago I read that the most successful men had mothers who nagged, now what does that mean....?!
And there's this other nagging lady, who drove her guy to buy a lottery ticket .... and when he won $4.2 million, fell to the floor, saying all she wanted was enough money to buy a sausage.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28120766/
Guess there are all types of nagging women!
And don't they give us ample opportunites to practise for our goal of perfection !
Man's point of view (perhaps) Constant nag / Wife hag / Life drag
Woman's point of view : Weep sob /Husband slob / Life job
:) I'd add its true for all types of relationships .. the moment the honeymoon is over, one tends to take the other for granted and then starts the ignoring and the nag response! In my case, my kids and some friends complain the loudest!! :D :P :)
Great hub, Feline Prophet! You've brought up some interesting points in a very entertaining format. :) I read one paragraph aloud to my boyfriend--the one about how men don't nag, and he furrowed his brow and said "Do I nag?" and I said "No, of course not! Do I?" and he paused, shrugged his shoulders and said "It depends." Figures!
Right Melissa...so I can rest my case? :P
Thanks all of you for commenting!
FP!....Must say your post inspired me to brush up my rusty skills, and lo and behold!....it brought forth the most surprised and shocked response, which definitely made my day!.....heheheh.....
A wise man (or was it a woman?) once said, "Behind every successful man is a woman... telling him he's wrong!"
That woman could be a wife, a mother, a sister, a girl friend, a friend.. anything at all. But without a woman behind you, there is no success. So all you men out there, don't despair - even some good can come out of the nagging from the woman in your life....
How refreshing! A man on our side! :P
Ahhhh...but when you stop nagging, they start wondering if something's wrong - so out of due consideration for their peace of mibd, maybe we should just keep at it, wouldn't you say?
You're right Shal...stay in practice! :P
You are good FP. Had you not been nagging me so steadily to read your hubs i never would.
She not only is a great one at nagging poor hubby by the curl of her lip or whatever it is she uses- she is great at doing it on the net too. One of those sidey comments in the middle of a chat and suddenly you realize what the whole conversation was actually leading up to. you think you are having a good time joking and kidding around on chat- and just when you’ve cracked your best joke and expect her to burst into giggles comes the –“ by the way such and such has commented on my last hub- did you get around to reading it.?” And the “get around to” is said with the best snarl the net can virtually transmit - your blood freezes – you know if you say errr you know my daughter was not well- I got caught up at work-actually we had guests – they are all not going to work at all and Boyyyy you drop all you are doing and rush to read the hub- like i did this time.
She is a great one - our feline – even at nagging !!!!!!!
Thanks....I think! :P
Now, I don't feel so bad when I nag :)
I would like to see the FP's nagged half, write a counter to this :P
What about gay couples? haha i have dear friends that are like that, and the one is always a nag. hahaha that's funny. I do love them and they are quite funny to observe.
My Wee One is the Queen of Nags, haha I learned to just ignore her and do what the hell I want anyway and it drives her nutz. pay back to a Nag. haha I nag on her for leaving the toilet bowl lid up. how's that? haha, the dogs and cat get into it and I hate that.
good hub dear, funny haha
Guess it's part of being a couple...one person nags, the other endures...must be written into the contract or something! And don't be so hard on the cats and dogs CC...surely they deserve some dignity while answering the call too! :P
Thanks for reading! :)
Great Hub. I know what to expect when I marry. Keep it up
Glad to be of help! :P Thanks for stopping by.
Hear Hear, My husband needs to read this hub.
LOL, do that at your own risk cashmere. Thanks for reading!
We do change don't we, I believe my husband has cotton in his ears when I am nagging. lololo :)
Hehe, AE you need a new tactic...try writing it down and waving it in his face instead! :P
My ex-husband used to be a worse nag than me!
You're well rid of him then! :)
But yes, men can be really accomplished nags too.
Well said, lol! Makes me think. Sometimes it occurs to me that my husband actually wants to do what pleases me and earn compliments, i.e., that he doesn't intend to annoy me. This revelation makes me sad because I focus so much on the little things he doesn't do, when the big picture is more important... So much to learn, so little time!!!
How wise is that? The big picture is certainly more important, but we all need our little excuses to nag! :P
countrywomen says:
12 months ago
FP- Thanks for this hub. You seem to have mastered the art. Now I know whom to turn to for pointers on nagging. And yes keep the nagging practice going as they say "practice makes a woMan perfect".