Is that child really a brat

As a parent of a child with Global Delopment Delay it's very hard with the tantrums and the looks some people give not knowing the child may have problems. Labeling all children as just spoilt brat's without a thought about the why as to the patrents who don't tell thier kids to just stop, but it does happen every day and every second there are millions of children in the world being diagnosed or even undiagnosed with learning or emotional disabilities. If that child gets frustrated because they have trouble communicating what they want or just really don't understand they have a tantrum and if this happen's out in public which often does some people are quick to judge that the child is a spoilt brat and sometimes that may be true but I'm talking about children who have these learning behaviour problems or disabilities such as adhd or add and austim it can be very upsetting to find out your child has these problems my wife and I both cried and its a challenge everyday my daughter needs a teacher's aid all the time at school just to help keep her following in with the class activities and faces many uphill battles. At the age of 5 she has a mental age of just 2 even with this help it does not make her day easy and often acts out the same as she would at home, other children comment on the fact that she doesn't do the things that come so natural to them even laugh at her or ask lot's of questions about why she can't. I'm happy to explain to them to the best of my abillities but some things are even too hard for me to explain, most days I say that her brain just doesn't click as fast as yours but she will learn and who knows one day she will be as quick as you. Thats not to say that my daughter isn't smart she is very inquizitive and likes to work things out for herself but she just doesn't or can't get compromises or alternative options, everything is now, mine, or her words are mixed up all the time he is a she (visa versa) on is off. Even at the age of 5 she still needs to wear a nappy because she can't or is too scared to use the toilet to do a poo, don't get me wrong she is very confedent at weeing just not pooing. Well we do have people who are wonderful and great to us from the dissability services everyone has helped us so much. the ongoing problems will always be there you have to remind yourself that there are things that a normal 2 year old child can't do so expecting more from her like a child of 5 is a far fetch but we will never give up on a dream that the stares from others will never affect her self esteme and that by the time she is a functioning adult that her abillities will never hold her back from her dreams

Challenging Behaviors and Meltdowns

Unfortunately for children with autism and their families and careers, meltdowns and destructive behaviors are common. The term challenging behavior is controversial but it is intended to suggest that behaviors present a challenge to professionals and services. This is supposed to prevent internalizing the cause of the behavior and blaming the child i question. This is very important in autism, as it is unlikely that any behavior which causes difficulties for families and professionals, is intended maliciously or vindictively. There is virtually always some other unidentified, trigger that ignites challenging behavior. Some vital function that it serves. It is worth noting that in most cases (although not all) individuals do not enjoy being challenging. This alone should suggest that there is some significant need or impetus for the behavior. Unfortunately it would appear that the majority of cases of challenging behaviors occur by children in the presence of their families. If such behavior is a challenge for professionals then it can have a debilitating impact on parents and siblings. It is therefore very important that behavior are dealt with in way which allows both the secure functioning of the family, and the opportunity for the individual to develop skills and communicate effectively.

Meltdowns are a way of life and are one of the most common problems in young children with autism. They may appear to go into a state of rage, panic anxiety or fear for no reason at all. Tantrums? are normal behavior for most children and there is no reason why children with autism should by-pass this stage of development. The problem seems to be that it is more difficult for parents to prevent ?tantrums? in children with autism, the child seems inconsolable during the meltdown the episode might last a long time, and the making up that often follow an out burst rarely happens. Meltdowns are just one example of challenging behavior. Similar episodes of panic anxiety rage or even aggression might be seen all through childhood, adolescence and even adulthood. This might involve screaming, crying, resisting contact with others, or pushing others away. On the other hand it might be much less overt, such as refusing to respond to interaction (especially in learning settings where this might have a destructive effect), using others as objects and refusing to comply with daily activities. Obviously these behaviors are not necessarily challenging?but in some cases they might cause disruption (for example to a classroom engaged in a lesson, or a family outing or event).

What causes this? As with such behavior in all children there may be any number of causes. There might be underlying reasons (such as feeling upset, anxious or angry) and immediate triggers (such as being told to do something). In autism however there is also a specific pattern of behavior, and of social interaction and understanding, that can help us explain some challenging behaviors. Structure is a method that helps define the world in terms of rigid rules and explanations and that helps the person function most effectively. Most children with autism find their own methods of imposing structure and maintaining consistency. They need this structure because the world is confusing. Other people are complex and almost impossible to understand. The information they receive through their senses might be overwhelming and hard to bring together into a cohesive whole, and there is likely to be an additional learning disability that makes it hard to apply cognitive skills to all these areas at once. Therefore when some form of structure or routine is disrupted the world becomes confusing and overwhelming again. It might be like losing a comforting toy when feeling alone or homesick. This disruption of structure might be obvious (having a collection of objects disturbed, being made to go a different way to school, getting up at an unusual hour) or it might be hidden (subtle changes in the environment which the child is used to for example). Some of these triggers might be out of the control of the individual or his or her family members. Some might be avoidable. Others might be necessary events, which can be slowly introduced so as to limit overt reactions.

It is important to remember that meltdowns and similar behaviors are not rejections. They are not emotional blackmail or warfare aimed at those close to the individual. They are the natural reactions to various stimuli. Natural if you have autism that is. Disruption of structure is only one trigger of such behavior however.

In more general terms one of the most significant causes of challenging behavior is a communicative need. For people with profound difficulties in understanding others and in communicating with them it is hardly surprising for frustration, anger and anxiety to build up. It is also quite likely that "challenging behaviors" will directly serve as a form of communication. Expected meltdowns for example in response to changes in routine or requests to do something the individual does not want to do, may well be reinforced by the other people involved. For many professionals and parents it might be easier to let the child have their own way rather then help them to develop other means of communicating. In this way the child will learn that challenging behavior may be the most effective and immediate way of bringing about a desired response from others. It is perhaps inevitable that this will be the case in home environments where parents do not have the time, resources or knowledge to deal with this behavior more constructively. This might also be the case in educational settings where there is a compromise between offering support for the individual with autism and ensuring that any challenging behavior is not detrimental to other students. This is where support is needed both in the form of direct interventions related to the behaviors, and in advising and helping parents manage episodes in ways which can be applied at home. It is important to intervene as early as possible so that behaviors are not reinforced and so that other means of expression and communication are open to children with autism. Appropriate behavioral interventions take into account the functions of behaviors and do not seek simply to limit the behavior itself.

it is important to recognize two major reasons of challenging behavior These include recognizing that there are experiences and difficulties specific to individuals with autism that might trigger or cause these behaviors. These include problems with understanding themselves, the world around them especially their social environment and their relationship with it. They might have cognitive difficulty in processing and applying meaning to the information they are given. They might need rigid structure in order to function comfortably. They might not understand or require the typical social interactions and comforting of other children (such as being hugged when crying). These difficulties can be improved slowly through education and other interventions, but basic differences must be respected and effort can be made to manage the environment so that the individual is more comfortable (allowing some structure, avoiding distracting information when engaging in tasks, allowing personal space where necessary). The second major area is where challenging behavior serves a communicative function. In this case the function of the behavior must first be identified before teaching and developing other means of communicating.

Challenging behaviour is often an attempt at communication - it's not being naughty. Try to identify the trigger for the behaviour. Identify sources of anxiety. The child may have outbursts of aggression just like a much younger child due to delayed emotional development. Be consistent in everything you do. Discuss behavioural issues with others and make sure everyone agrees on the approach to be used. Always give advance warning of changes in routine. Tell the child what you expect him to do rather than telling him what you don't want. Remember that common techniques for calming an anxious child, like cuddling or sitting the child on your knee, may have the opposite effect on a child with ASD. Don't try to stop odd or repetitive behaviour unless it interferes with learning or threatens the well-being of other children. It is better to modify the behaviour. Encourage the child to ask for help before reaching the point of frustration. Work with the child's interests and obsessions to increase motivation and to learn new skills.

Communication

Simplify your language. Be very specific. Remember language is likely to be interpreted literally. Avoid sarcasm and irony. Metaphors may be confusing. Before you speak, use the child's name to gain his attention, even when addressing the group. Give one instruction at a time. Allow the child sufficient time to interpret then respond to an instruction. This may take longer in children with ASD. Encourage eye contact, but don't insist if this causes anxiety. Be aware that facial expressions and gestures may be misinterpreted. Visual cues should be used to support verbal communication. Be sensitive to the child's efforts to communicate.Sensory Children with ASD can be distracted by background noise that other people ‘filter out'. Even minor background noise may disturb some children. The child may feel sensory overload from visual stimuli, the close proximity of others or from physical contact.Social interaction Social skills are not acquired naturally - they need to be specifically taught. Help the child to become aware that other people have thoughts and feelings that may be different to their own. The child may not focus on what you consider to be obvious - be explicit. Some children will need time out or quiet time from the demands of social interaction. Understand the child's difficulty interpreting social situations. Model and prompt appropriate social behaviour.General tips Children with autism thrive on routine. Sessions should have a well-defined, predictable structure. Although routine is important, allow for some flexibility so that the child learns to cope with minor changes in a supportive environment. Rather than tell the child to ‘find something to do', show them what they can do and provide examples of creative work. To encourage generalisation of skills, teach the same task in a variety of situations. Be persistent. Progress may be slow and results may be difficult to see at first. Be calm, positive and consistent. Every child with ASD has individual abilities and needs - what works for one child may not work for another. Every child can have a bad day. Don't feel at fault if things are not going