This tip focuses on what you, as a parent, need to do if you find your child cursing at you. A lot of kids with defiant behavior do this and it is not uncommon... particularly when they are being disciplined or reprimanded and the curse words are in response to what you’re telling them.

You need to understand where your child is coming from, and we don’t mean literally.

For starters, they’ve been at the receiving end, something that nobody likes.

This is where you are exercising the powers that parents typically have. Your child, in such a situation can:

a) resent your actions or behavior and attack you (verbally or physically)

b) try to establish some control over the situation

When you hear your child cursing at you, this is what he achieves. In his mind, he establishes a sense of control.

First, this is a form of venting his anger towards you.

Secondly, the child is showing that he controls what he is saying, and you do not. This gives him a sense of being in control, while you aren’t.

In order to deal with a situation such as this, you need to identity what your child is doing and avoid getting sucked in. In this situation, you should choose not to respond immediately, thereby avoiding an unnecessary argument.

You should maintain your decorum and try gaining control of the circumstance you currently face.

For instance, if a situation arises where your teenager has taken your car out without your permission and you want to ground him for a week, and this angers him and results in a flurry of curse words; you simply need to reaffirm that he is grounded for a week and walk away casually.

Getting drawn into an unnecessary battle of words is not required, and you don’t have to scream at your child for using curse words. Getting involved with this at that moment is not advised.

However, you should, at a later point, ensure that you let your child know that the language that he used before is not at all appropriate and comes with a consequence. Then, you tell him what the consequence is for using curse words.

When it comes to dealing with defiant behavior orbad child behavior, you should not let the foul language distract you from the problem at hand.

Here, your child wishes to exert the power he has. This should not be taken lightly.

It is important that you retain your focus and control, stick to the topic and walk away after the initial consequence is given.

When things calm down, you can address the issue of your child cursing. At this later time a consequence should be given for the unacceptable language that was used.

This isn’t something that should be allowed to pass. You must never let your child feel that you’re giving in.

So remember, stay on track for the moment, and address the cursing aspect later.