According to Bottom Line, the Researchers have long known that marriage can improve the couples health, But only, recently has scientific proof emerged indicating  that serious , health consequences can resulted from chronically stressful marriage.  Important new findings say that negative interactions  in marriage have been convincingly linked by studies  at the university  of Utah to increase in heart rate and blood pressure, coronary artery fatty deposits ( plaques) and decreased elasticity in the arteries all of which  contributes  to heart disease. It also appears that married couples  who were More hostile  or angry during  single interaction were found  by Ohio State University to have decreased functions of infection- fighting natural killer cells  and , in a late study slower rate of wound healing.  As a health risk,  marital stress is on par with social isolation, high cholesterol, poor diet, and lack of exercise, according to these and other findings.

For unknown reasons, women seem to be particularly hard hit by marital woes- studies consistently  show that wives experience stronger cardiovascular, hormonal  and immunological reactions to marital stress. The good news is, while virtually all marriages experience some degree of conflict .  research suggest that it's how  we deal with disagreement - not just whether we have them - that  largely determines the effect on our health.  For example, the university  of Utah have shown that  a couple's demeanor during disputes - warms, hostile , controlling, submission- is as good an indication of underlying heart disease as cholesterol levels.

To minimize the health impacts of marital stress and woes, Ohio States said to break the stress and tension mode.  Ohio State university researches  recently measured blood levels of stress hormones cortisol and adrenocorticotropic hormones  (ASTH) in 90 newly wed couples before , during a thirty minutes discussion about sensitive marital problems. When  both partners were consistently negative, the wives cortisol and ACTH levels rose.  However, when one or both partners were supportive and constructive, even during heated discussions - the  wives stress hormones decreased through out the discussion .  Men hormones levels were unaffected by both  the negative and supportive behavior.

Tips to help both spouses help each other:

1. Agree with your partner on some points and issues, accept responsibility for your short comings .... and propose a compromise.  Research involving women with high blood pressure suggest that more hostile  behavior during marital discussion are associated  with elevated blood pressures, during the exchange s and more supportive behavior are associated with lower blood pressures during talks.

2. Watch What you say to each other; While the husband can appear less physiologically impacted by their wives hostility , they react to perceived challenges to their competencies or skills.

3. Always avoid controlling statements, such as ,You're never on time; Why don't you put on your watch, or Why can't you just do what I ask.?

4. Replace comments such as, You're spending us in to bankruptcy with this statement: I know you love to shop for the grand-kids , but we need to stick to the budget.

5. Pat attention if your partner says you are being angry, hostile, unreasonable, or cold.Wile you  may be unaware of your negativity , your arteries could be paying the price.

6.Women shouldn't clammed up to avoid a confrontation, women should speak  your mind, because it lead to bad health when you hold aggravation in.

7.Always  be open  and communicate with each other, even if it gets unpleasant sometimes, it's always best to get it off your chest, because you could be saving your very own life.

*. Both spouses should make time for relaxing daily, whether it's exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with friends.

Because we cannot control everything concerning our spouses, look for some value in those things, you =may not readily admire; for example,if you resent your spouse messiness, but value his or her easygoing  nature, try viewing these qualities as the flip side of the coin.  You may find you have a greater tolerance for- less need to control clutter.  Both spouses should always find a compromise to keep the pressures off of each other and try to keep each other healthy.

Benny Faye Douglass