Is It Love, or Not

I am pondering on Love these days...we need more love in the world. Is Love what we think it is? Is it what we feel it is? Is it what we do, that makes it what it is? What is Love?

I remember when I used to think I loved my first huband. I was thirteen and carrying his child. Without going into that, but just looking at the love, inretrospect, I can honestly say I did love him very much. But I have to also say it was an extremely innocent and ignorant love, not comprehending the parameters or the realities of the situation. I was in my own little dream-vision world of what it was. I played the little loving wife staying home preparing for our child, made him his lunch before he'd go off to work each day, kiss him goodbye and miss him in my heart, hoping he would be safe at work and believing he was taking care of our little family unit. I planned a bit into the future, took natural childbirth classes, bought the few necessities, took care of myself and dreamed of a good life and how I could help create it for us. Believing he was doing the same. In short, he was not.

Fast forward thirty seven years; two husbands, two many uncommited realtionships and four children, twenty years of celibacy and seeking of God and two grandchildren later...I am still pondering, what is Love?

Current Life

So I have moved to a new place, sharing a house with a couple in their 60s. I am actually learning a lot about love living here, but in the reverse, I mean, in their subconscious anger at each other they love on the outer. But they don't see each others' anger, they live around it and ignore it instead of dealing with it. They both exercise physically (a lot! compared to me anyway) to keep it from forming as illness in their physical body.

But it "floats around", I feel it, and have a sense of what it is about, should I say something? I have been by myself for so long, (except with my children as they were growing up) that I have my own definitions of relationship 'stuff'. And when I don't have a full historical picture of their lives it's hard to define and put into words what I am seeing and feeling about the situation.

They are in a rut, shallow with each other, manipulative of each other...it is actually a "chore" to live in this energy between them...it is affecting me. I know that is one thing I am here to learn, how to not let others "afflict" me with their stuff, it is bringing up all kinds of old patterns of psychology in me about relationships...I am to be learning and strengthening my "field", clearing my stuff from this degree of anger and hatred. But its no fun!

The home is a pleasant environment, clean and neat, with a really nice yard and access to many things in the city. I have my own large space, but have to share the kitchen (and the bath when they have company, which is a drag, but not too bad).

So this is spiritual/religious stuff to me, that is why I brought it up. Living here is helping me to define the Laws of man and the Laws of God's Universal Order, and how they fit together... or don't fit together. For instance, I am seeing a real difference (energetically) with the fact that they are not legally married and what I remember happened when I was, and since I have not been. At this point, I am seeing that energetically it really does matter, it makes a lot of difference when people are married and living together. Let me try to think of an example I can put into meaningful words

To me, marriage means commitment at all levels of consciousness. To me it means: fidelity; being friends, able to trust and talk on any issue (the degree/amount may vary on any particular issue); sharing every thing as mutually deemed possible or not; sharing fairly all living expenses as mutually deemed so; sharing space as mutually deemed possible;but it means even more to me now knowing what I have learned and experienced these past twenty years studying religions and "energy work" for health, wholeness and healing.

The commitment and dedication to marriage (in my above definitions) seems to me to be very indicative of the Order of the Universe, doing the Will of God by learning and being in alignment with God's Laws.

I won't go into fully defining what I mean in this hub, but my point is that; the very energy we are given each day, in the cosmic order of occurrence, to me, has become a sacred thing. Something to honor and respect, and how that is played out in our relationships and our actions in life is something to be very mindful of. Every erg of energy we are given, that we use, in our thoughts, words and deeds, is sacred and I am trying to make it so, I want to do more, I want to Love better.

I am really working on Love this week, concerning several different aspects like, how good works is great, but that the Love for God's universal order (Will, [if you will !]) is what makes those good works..."Work" in the world. That Love creates the ultimate outcome of our service to humanity.

It's like, for me anyway, the reasons behind why I do offer service to others is that I want to share the Love I feel for that Order (of God), the respect and desire to get the greatest outcome, the best outcome for all involved...I mean why offer a half hearted attempt (like not doing it for the best possible reasons [unselfishly, altruistically, etc]), even though that is a place to start. I have learned how to do better and have learned how to truly "mean it", Love more.

I guess for me, it is to try to do better is what is important. I have really been "shown" this week where I was becoming "rote" in some aspects of my devotion and rituals. Where it was "just good enough"... but not good enough in that more love can be infused into what I offer, and to be careful to not fall into that mode of "just good enough". My heart can expand and offer more to others, even in continuing to do what I have been doing...it's not just the action, but the feeling behind, the reason behind, the Love behind the action of service. I don't have to do more actions...but be more Love in action !

I have also seen the fear behind sharing more love...that's the biggy here for me I was afraid of giving more of myself, confusing the "what" I was giving and the amount I was giving with the Love behind what I was giving.

Love is one of those abstract terms...is it an action verb or a noun? Can you touch it, feel it, be it, think it, act it, work it, expand it, refine it, define it !?... I feel my heart chakra spin and warm me from within.It is both action and noun!

Love is casting out all fear...I am becoming more attuned to the sense of what that means now. Glory to God and that Order of Creation...Amen !

Please, share your thoughts on love...I want to know!

Blessings and Much Love to you all!

SparklingJewel