Mother of 555 pound teenager charged with neglect: Is child obesity abuse?
76Update: Parental Rights vs Government Interaction
Mother of 555 pound teenager charged with neglect 25 June 2009
"(CBS) A mother is being charged with neglecting her obese teenage son, raising issues about whether the government has the right to intervene in one's family life.
Born and raised in South Carolina, Alexander Draper grew up to reach a dangerous 555 pounds by the age of 14. That's when law enforcement stepped in.
"The first and foremost concern is Alexander's health," Lt. Shea Smith told CBS News.
Alexander's mother, Jerri Gray, was charged with unlawful neglect of a child for allowing him to become obese..."
I'm not sure jail time is the answer but surely CPS should be dedicated to getting family counseling for this woman and her son. The article says the woman cannot afford the proper health care for her child. If true, this should never be the case. Health care for every American should be a right, not a privilege.
Is creating obesity in your child a form of child abuse
(dated precursor)
I saw this on MS-NBC just now so I don't have a news link however I did find an immediate internet uproar on the subject in yahoo answers.
Apparently there is a 198 pound child that is being overfed by his mother and the government (u.k.) is going to take the child into care and may or may not file abuse charges on her for sabotaging his health.
On the one side, if a child can be pulled for malnutrition and charges may be filed for NOT feeding your child, seems logical to think you can do the same for the opposite. On the other side, there are parental rights issues.
Guess since the cost to society of obesity has recently been shown as surpassing the cost of smoking to society, they are going after them now to save public tax monies. I suspect the "big is beautiful" fat lobby is about to lose a lot of it's gusto. You don't see "lung cancer is beautiful" lobbies, so that's probably for the best. HUGE is unhealthy, HUGE is expensive, regardless of the aesthetics.
Here's the link:
Should an eight-year-old kid who weighs 14 stone be taken into care for neglect?
Should an eight-year-old kid who weighs 14 stone be taken into care for neglect?
It has just been on the news about him - and his mum doesn't know what she has done wrong...
Additional Details
52 minutes ago
14 stone is the equivalent of 90 kilos or 198 pounds.
Some comments:
* The mentality of the mother frightens me. Yes he should be taken away from her - that is blatant child abuse.
* They live round the corner from me in Wallsend. And children from the school I work in know of them well. I think he should go into care, the mothers a looney.
* it is hard to make a decision with out all evidence available, ie consultations with doctors. but i think the mother has to be mainly to blame because whatever way you look at it the mother is the one who has been feeding the boy, so i think if he does not continue to lose weight then putting him in to care has to be the solution for his own health.
* It's neglect I'm afraid, pure and simple, the mother has lost control and the kids health is at risk now.
It's sad that it can probably be put down to the mothers education, but it is the child's safety that's at stake.
It wouldn't be for too long, only until she knows better and the kid is on the mend.....and maybe puts the fork down (sorry, it's Monday)
* yes, the mother is insane and irresponsible
related link:
UK only please:Pre teen child obesity, Is this a form of child abuse and should the parents be prosecuted?
Most people seemed to agree the child should be pulled but that the mother should not be prosecuted.
Costs of Obesity:
workplace (u.s.): White Paper: Employee Obesity is Number One Factor in Productivity Loss
Find Out What Obesity Is Costing Your Company
overall: Overweight and Obesity: Economic Consequences
(australia) Obesity's huge cost dwarfs Medicare
(saudi arabia) Obesity exacts heavy price in Saudi Arabia
(u.s.) Swelling obesity bites U.S. economy
Health Risks of Obesity:
South Pacific is 'fattest region'
"...Doctors say obesity can lead to heart disease and arthritis, and fat children are increasingly being condemned to a lifetime of ill health and disability...."
Obesity doubles the risk of womb cancer
Obesity poses larger diabetes risk than inactivity
The story hit today's news (in print)
CNN: Britain may take custody of obese boy
LONDON - Authorities are considering taking an 8-year-old boy who weighs 218 pounds into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet, officials said Monday. Social service officials will meet with family members Tuesday to discuss the health of Connor McCreaddie, who weighs more than three times the average for his age...
...An unidentified health official was quoted as telling The Sunday Times that taking custody of Connor would be a last resort, but said the family had repeatedly failed to attend appointments with nurses, nutritionists and social workers.
"Child abuse is not just about hitting your children or sexually abusing them, it is also about neglect," the official was quoted as saying.
Dr. Colin Waine, the director of the National Obesity Forum in Nottingham, England, called Connor's lifestyle "extremely dangerous," adding he is at risk of developing diabetes in his early teens, and cardiovascular and nervous system problems in his 20s.
"He's really at risk of dying by the time he's 30," Waine said..."
(links to CNN video from the news story above - Idunn)
**UPDATE - 28 Feb 07
Obese British boy to stay with family
"LONDON (Reuters) - British social workers decided on Tuesday to allow an eight-year-old boy who weighs almost 200 pounds (91 kg) to remain at home with his mother, who has refused to stop feeding him junk food.
Connor McCreaddie's mother says her 14-stone (196-pound) son will not eat healthy food like fruits and vegetables and had rejected a suggestion that she put a lock on the fridge.
Social workers had considered taking into care the boy, whose plight has prompted intense media interest in a country increasingly concerned about rising child obesity levels.
But after a meeting with Connor and his mother Nicola McKeown, 35, the local council in North Tyneside in northeastern England said he would remain at home..."
Video Title : 7 Year Old Jessica weighs 400 Pounds
I had trouble even watching this video. It was painful to watch a child who is too heavy to walk squiggle across the floor and struggle to breathe because her weight is compressing her lungs.
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Absolutely is! The problem is these parents haven't a clue as to how to rear children. They certainly know how to make 'em, though, more's the pity. Most parents in Britain can't even boil an egg, nowadays.
A fat lot Tony Blair cares - he just wants to staple kids' stomachs ... problem solved!
Here's my opinion. I think the state goes too far in taking over parents' rights and I think the political correctness troops better rethink the legislation they try to use on their current 'vice' punching bag (smokers) because it's going to turn around and bite them dead in the butt. People in glass houses... you know the drill.
misfit, since you're over there, link me if you find something on this in the news... the commentary I could find hinted there was something dramatically wrong with this mom's parenting but doesn't say what it is, and it seems to be past the weight thing. apparently they ran it on bbc or the radio or something in the u.k. but msnbc didn't cover the situation in depth.
we say in my family, "food is love"... can it be that hugs are embarrassing? great article.
I admit I do that too, food is very important in our family. My children grew up with me praising them for eating well, meals are family affairs and I cook balanced southern meals often which is anything but dietetic. Eating out is heaven, we do junk food on occasion and all my children grew up with an interest in learning my recipes so that they could cook their favorites when they moved away from home. They fight over my cookbooks. However, despite this, none of them have weight problems. On the other hand, I encouraged sports and playing outside and I never forced them to "clean their plates" or eat things they don't like or want.
hugs are great too, my family is pretty good about that. :)
idunn, I think you did a great job of not pathologizing food, eating and weight, which is why your kids are normal. A lot of parents have either severe neglect, or control, issues and their children suffer for it.
I'm not really sure about the whys. Perhaps it's just genetics, or maybe it's like Drax said in the french woman book thing (which I'd heard before) - that my family loves food but it's for taste, texture, family time-sharing and in restaurants, ambience and expertise - a well-rounded appreciation for the culinary delights.
Kathy, I don't really take compliments very well and I missed saying to you, "thank you", so thank you. Parents all make mistakes and there is no manual for parenting, but I do think I've done a fair job and I love my children beyond measure and I think maybe at the bottom of it all, that's the part that counts the most. Children need to know they are their own parents top priority and you can make mistakes past that, and they forgive you. My idea of what a good parent ensures in their child is the child knowing they have value as their own self and confidence in their own abilities and the awareness that they are no better or worse than any other human being. If a child is raised to love themselves, they will love others and THAT is the primary purpose in life.
I think you are right too about weight/eating/food falling into control and psych reasons and I think you are right that that is when food issues arise. It's a substitute for some other emotional thing that isn't being dealt with.
I remember a Sally Jesse Raphael show on bedridden mothers and they had the woman's 13 yr old daughter on. This girl had to bathe her mother, wipe her butt, and clean the house, cook and take care of the younger children. The mother controlled and annihilated her children emotionally by choosing to become that huge and the whole time she falsely perceived herself to be the victim and relayed that to her child who was in fact the real victim.
I saw a similar thing with a doco called "fat girls and feeders" in which women would choose men who catered to them, fed them in bed and cleaned them and waited on them hand and foot. They did the same thing and so did the media... 'oh, these poor victimized women' being abused by men who were fattening them up. Well, I think it is the women of those relationships who are the controlling ones. They lay in bed all day having people cater to them AS they portray themselves as being victimized. In those relationships, where a man chooses to 'play' of his own free will, it's some kind of mutual enabling. I suppose he gets the illusion of power over his diabled wife and she gets the real power. And I don't care, they can do anything they want. With the children being inadvertantly pushed into that position though, it pisses me off. I wanted to reach through the tv screen when I watched that Sally Jesse show with the 13 yr old little mother tending to that beached whale and punch that huge woman right in the nose for abusing her child. How selfish could a person be?
very informative!!! great
Charles is under the cosh here, now, for daring to criticise McDonalds and the like for the part they play in our obesity. I'm no lover of Royalty, as you may guess, but Charlie does speak up about matters of concern, and therefore can't do right for doing wrong. How dare he criticise big business!!
Poor beggar's on a hiding for nothing.
Actually, the problem is more deeply rooted than we can ever imagine - beyond the power of any self-serving government to rectify.
ya, I saw that ruckus. it's about lapse in personal responsibility and lapses in good parenting (in part caused by economic pressures), in my opinion. McDonalds existed before people were regularly HUGE. But in those days you didn't have a fat lobby trying to justify it or blame it on anything but overeating and not exercising enough.
I agree...the problem goes deeper that we can ever begin to imagine. When people "do" things that apparently is hurtful to their children or to others, one can start asking, "Why?" If this is a form of abuse...maybe the mother has experienced abuse too.
I think that is highly probable. However, I personally think adults also make personal choices so they should be responsible for that part, they could seek help.
I also think that children in extreme situations should be protected from narcissists, abusive or negligent parents, I think children have a right to a safe, healthy childhood, even if that means the narcissist will have one less person to use to manipulate. the tiny violin in my heart doesn't play for adult abusers. sorry.
Did I sound like I was defending the mother? Didn't mean to sound that way. I too agree with you that children should be protected from abusive and negligent parents. I know what it is like to be "abused"; and have had my own hang-ups and trauma and fears all these years.
But after going through my personal healing, I also saw another side to the story. That the ones who were doing the victimizing were victims themselves. I guess that is why it matters a lot to help the children now...otherwise, that is what they will pass on to their future children. And it becomes a vicious cycle.
I think we are in agreement and quite probably for the similar reasons. And yes, I think in general that would go some to help break those who fall into that cycle. I didn't replay it either way, but I got walked on most of my life and held myself responsible for everyone else's bad choices as a result for a long time, maybe still do, so it still messed me up.
I agree that obesity is iffy. I think pulling chunky kids would be ridiculous, but if it's so bad their health is already suffering, maybe then.
However if you see someone burning their kids with cigarettes or breaking their arm or throwing them against the wall, I don't see how anyone could say "well, gee, let's excuse their behavior because they must have had a bad childhood." Abuse is unacceptable.
I know those people need competent and good therapy and I hope they seek it, but I hope they seek it while they're children are safe somewhere else. I cannot pull up sympathy for an abuser WHILE they are in the process of being able to abuse and doing so. I might could have more compassion once they have at the least stopped and trying to better their emotional health.
I woke up today thinking of our discussion. And lounn? From the deepest part of my heart, I thank you. I appreciate this honest talk. It made me really ponder on where I am now regarding this issue. You know, I actually was beginning to cry and many thoughts were rushing in my head. I guess it would be too long to share those thoughts here. But the tears are of joy because I am grateful that I have moved beyond my pain after experiencing "abuse." And because I am getting healed, I know the vicious cycle has stopped (in my life that is.)
YES, a bad childhood is not an excuse for abuse. And abuse MUST never be tolerated. That I do agree wholeheartedly. Thank you for writing this hub. It brings awareness and reflection...and perhaps hearts will be moved to do something, anything to stop abuse in our respective lives.
ripplemaker, there are so many of us and I can't tell you how hopeful it makes me to see so many of us find our way to not allowing ourselves to keep being victims our whole lives and to finally find some inner peace and happiness.
it was a very difficult journey for me and that is why I get so angry when people assume my life has been easy in any way. I try never to assume that about others, even celebrities who look like they have everything. there is no way we can know.
it's very hard to figure out what parts of your life were some bad personal choice and what parts were caused by illness we couldn't control set in us through no choice of our own and to pin the proper responsibility on each. it stays hard and I still try, with whatever honest mistakes.
but I do know this. it gets better and better and better. it's ok to hold yourself accountable for your own actions and it's HEALTHY to hold others accountable for their part too and it's also ok to be utterly enraged and grieve from time to time because it wasn't fair - BECAUSE IT WASN'T FAIR.
((ripple)) take care of yourself, always. treat yourself as you would treat your best friend or want anyone else treated. I think for me, that has always been the hardest part, cutting myself short and getting pushed into stuff and pushed around and treated in a way I'd never treat others or allow my friends to be treated. I try very hard not to do that now. I hope you keep at it also.
There is much wisdom in what you are saying lounn. Yes, it all starts with us loving and taking care of ourselves. Like you I am being more kind and gentle with myself. And yes, it is getting better and better! (Hurrah for us :-) Also, I like what you said about being accountable for our actions and its HEALTHY holding others accountable for their actions as well. I will take care of myself...please take care too. And thank you again.
thank you too, ripplemaker. I'm glad we stumbled across each other and each had something to bring to the other. every survivor I hear from that is working to be happy is like a little miracle to me.
and you know, we aren't so different from everyone else, like some other class of people. everyone has glitches, problems and difficulties to whatever degree and every single human is dealing with whichever are theirs. I love best the ones who are trying to work through it with introspection and personal honesty. :)
I'm glad too. I believe there are no coincidences, only miracles. Happy Chinese New Year Lounn. :-)
and a Happy Chinese New Year to you right back~ :)
I'm glad you believe in miracles too. You can't get them if you don't believe in them and if you do believe in them, you can see them all over. I know I do.
I HAVE SEEN THE NEWS REPORTS ABOUT THIS LITTLE GIRL AND I THINK THAT THIS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ABUSE. IT IS JUST AS BAD AS STARVING YOUR KIDS. JESSICA CAN'T EVEN FUNCTION LIKE A NORMAL 7 YR OLD. I HAVE 3 BOYS ON OF WHICH IS GETTING READY TO TURN 7 AND I HAVE ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT HIS SIZE THINKING THAT HE IS TOO SMALL HE EATS VERY WELL BUT DOESN'T SEEM TO GROW OR GAIN ANY WEIGHT SO I ENED UP ASKING HIS DOCTOR ABOUT IT AND HE SAID THAT HE IS AVERAGE FOR HIS AGE AND NOT TO WORRY TO MUCH OVER IT.
yeah that happened to me with my daughter too. she was my first child and I thought she should be a big fat sassy baby like the Gerber baby and while she wasn't exactly thin, she wasn't big either. I kept asking the doctor and he said she was within normal means and to stop worrying aboout it. I gerw up in the era a fat baby was considered a healthy baby, and then they outgrow at toddler time when they walk.
My next two were boys and there were more the 'rounded' baby types in infancy, but they all grew up pretty much the same, average height, average weight.
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Jess says:
3 years ago
Yes, it might be. But these are only a tiny fraction of the children out there. Far, far more common are parents tormenting their children (who might be normal or slightly pudgy) to lose weight. Strangely enough, no outcry by anyone about that.